Joined: Apr 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 131 Location: UK
dont let ANYONE walk over you « Thread Started on Apr 14, 2009, 12:43pm »
I know that the downsides of being shy is people tend to walk all over you. You don't speak therefore people assume they can do whatever the fuck they want to you, they can get their way, they can use their damn words to persuade you. I've been a victim of being used by many people, but i've realised doing favours and not getting anything in return never got me anywhere, either out of pocket or the waste of my time. Shy people all out there listen to your brain and not your heart, your heart will want to help people, but there are people out there who will be all up in thereselves expected YOU to do all the work and NEVER give anything in return. Find the good people, the people who help you, the people who are kind in their heart. If you find someone using you ask them a favour, borrow something off them, ask them to do something for you. If they have the lamest excuse their lying, they just know your shy and won't care if they don't do it because they realise you won't say anything back. I admit I find it hard to say NO but No is my favourite word now . NO NO NO and fucking NOOOOO I don't wanna do that because you know why, I have better things to do. Stick to the people that help you out, dump the pricks who use you. Remember one thing - It's your life no-one elses, YOU own it, YOU can do whatever the hell YOU please. I remember a quote "No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Remember that.
Re: dont let ANYONE walk over you « Reply #1 on Apr 14, 2009, 5:15pm »
that's actually good advice. it's good to be a giver, but try not to spend all your energy giving to users. there's plenty of people in the world who need help if you want to help people. you can choose someone who's sick or disabled, for example, and genuinely needs the help.
Re: dont let ANYONE walk over you « Reply #2 on Apr 22, 2009, 2:29pm »
Right.
Good for you, Jai.
And I've been through this so many times. Just lived through another experience of being used. (The one I ranted about awhile back)
Well the same person (I'll call her lady 1) - she's being "neutral" (like Switzerland was before - years ago). I go and take up for her with this other lady (I think I ranted about lady #2 also) regarding the door slamming. Lady #2's been upset with me since December because of this. Every chance Lady 2 gets she disrespects and humiliates me and then "puts her hands up in front of her" like I did something. I go to lady #1 for support and she's neutral. What I think is maybe lady 2 and lady 1 made an agreement that lady 2 won't slam the door when lady 1 is home. That leaves lady 2 free to slam it at all other times, especially when she thinks I am home (actually I'm getting used to the door slamming since it's been done so often since December!). Lady 1 moved into the building the year 2000: When I saw her, I say "Hi I'm ____!" and what does SHE say? - "Oh well I figured that!" Not, "Hi, I'm ____, it's nice to meet you!" or words to that effect. And she monopolizes the place. You can't put any dishes anywhere in the kitchen - she's taken the shelves to herself. She leaves dishes on the side of the sink so it's hard to get your own dishes done. She has more money than most of us there as she works 2 jobs. If anyone can afford to rent an apartment instead of a room, it would be her. I have no choice. I don't have a job - have to live on one income and all I can afford is a room, not an apartment. The landlady knows she takes all the shelves - oh yes - there's another thing, there's a big frost free fridge out in the kitchen also - she monopolizes THAT also! No one else can put any food in it or in the freezer! - anyway, the landlady knows all about it, and tried to talk to her before, but I guess she gave up on it so she just lets her get away with it. But if that were me or someone else there on fixed income, we'd be told awful bloomin' fast to clear the shelves and the fridge/freezer so the rest can use it!!!
I've had nothing but 21 years of misery since I left home!
Joined: Apr 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 131 Location: UK
Re: dont let ANYONE walk over you « Reply #3 on Apr 22, 2009, 4:40pm »
You must stand up for yourself. Confront her, shout, scream release your anger. She's definatly in the wrong. Move her stuff without her knowledge, its rightfully your space. Make sure you treat her as your equal and not your superior. She has no power over you, you are your own person, you are a human being you deserve your own opinion. No-one can remove YOUR opinions. What's the worst she can do? I doubt it would result in violence? She can't touch you, she can't control you. And this neutral lady is no longer neutral especially if they come to some "agreement". 21 years of misery is something no person should go through.
Re: dont let ANYONE walk over you « Reply #4 on Jun 2, 2009, 3:00pm »
Dude you are so right saying no is one of the hardest thing we shy's learn but we have to come to understan that it's a moral rihgt to do so when are personal bounddries are being threatened.
Re: dont let ANYONE walk over you « Reply #5 on Jun 24, 2009, 2:14pm »
ya it happens to be quiet often at work i hate it.
Another thing i hate is when people think your stupid so when they're telling you something, they talk to you like some elementary kid or something.
there's this one guy that hates me for some stupid reason, i assume he thinks I'm stuck up or something. but thank god he's leaving at the end of the month for another job. another thing i hate is when they talk behind your back or sometimes just plain forget that your there and talk about you on how stuck up they think you are.
i think I'm just gonna quit and find a better job, one thats better then the one i currently have and with people that won't pick on me for stupid reasons.
but ya im gonna try saying no when people assume they can just walk all over me
« Last Edit: Jun 24, 2009, 2:16pm by goldenbird15 »
ya it happens to be quiet often at work i hate it.
Another thing i hate is when people think your stupid so when they're telling you something, they talk to you like some elementary kid or something.
there's this one guy that hates me for some stupid reason, i assume he thinks I'm stuck up or something. but thank god he's leaving at the end of the month for another job. another thing i hate is when they talk behind your back or sometimes just plain forget that your there and talk about you on how stuck up they think you are.
i think I'm just gonna quit and find a better job, one thats better then the one i currently have and with people that won't pick on me for stupid reasons.
but ya im gonna try saying no when people assume they can just walk all over me
grrr don't cha just hate that??? i hear ya !! yes try to get a diffrent job goldenbird. nno one should have to take that !
Jai what u said was so damn right. sh*tty people i mean their ways. yes eleanor rosevelt = smart lady who said the phrase u quoted .
« Last Edit: Feb 22, 2010, 4:28pm by pluralzalpha2 »
that's actually good advice. it's good to be a giver, but try not to spend all your energy giving to users. there's plenty of people in the world who need help if you want to help people. you can choose someone who's sick or disabled, for example, and genuinely needs the help.
yeah like in a hospital (candystripers); or volunteer at a nursing/special care home to name two.
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. NO NO NO and fucking NOOOOO I don't wanna do that because you know why, I have better things to do. Stick to the people that help you out, dump the pricks who use you. Remember one thing - It's your life no-one elses, YOU own it, YOU can do whatever the hell YOU please. I remember a quote "No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Remember that.
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!! yes try to get a diffrent job goldenbird. nno one should have to take that ![[avatar]](http://www.frozenemotions.de/gallery/satori_1024.jpg "[avatar]")
