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Post by skittlesdemon on Aug 27, 2014 18:00:00 GMT -5
I have recently moved into a dorm room at the University of Kentucky. I hate every little aspect about it but the single worse thing is that I am literally incapable of doing the most basic things for myself. I could not even do an icebreaker classroom social exercise without bursting into a stammer and tears.
This, however is tolerable, my problem is that I can not order food for myself as everytime that I try I leave my dorm then I make a u-turn back and start crying.
It is wednesday night and I have not eaten since Sunday afternoon.
Please help.
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Post by ura on Aug 27, 2014 18:11:20 GMT -5
Could you go to a supermarket or shop and buy food from there? Perhaps try the cafeteria during an empty time to overcome your shyness? Or even could you order food to your dorm at the very least?
How do you leave your dormitory for classes and the like or have you just arrived?
Honestly you will have to at some point push yourself out of your comfort zone but don't be afraid of it, if you just started in college plenty of people are in the same position as you, they know nobody and are worried about living on their own.
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Post by skittlesdemon on Aug 27, 2014 18:23:29 GMT -5
Could you go to a supermarket or shop and buy food from there? Perhaps try the cafeteria during an empty time to overcome your shyness? Or even could you order food to your dorm at the very least? How do you leave your dormitory for classes and the like or have you just arrived? Honestly you will have to at some point push yourself out of your comfort zone but don't be afraid of it, if you just started in college plenty of people are in the same position as you, they know nobody and are worried about living on their own. I have gone to my classes, but for buying food from a new place I don't know the procedure and that makes me very nervous, on top of that every time I go to the food places they are SO crowded that I immediately start feeling dizzy followed by crying. Which is embarrassing, I just tried to go to Commons, and subsequently did just that. Also, I am not at all daunted by living alone, I just have not eaten in three days and am getting to the vomiting/diarrhea/migraine part of ordeal.
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Post by Scotty on Aug 27, 2014 19:00:44 GMT -5
I understand being nervous ordering food at a new place, but once you've done it a few times it'll be second nature. Also like Ura said try going to a store and buying some food in the meantime. I'd suggest getting some gatorade/powerade too while you are at it.
As for tonight, do you have money for ordering take out? If being on a phone is also a problem for you many places allow you to order online, for example most of the major Pizza places. Go to one of their websites (find one that is close to your dorm), look at the menu and decide what you want.
Tomorrow make yourself go to the cafeteria. If it helps, take a moment to watch other people and read the menus before getting in line. Prepare yourself and you'll feel better about it. The nerves are not worth starving yourself for, you'll look back and wonder why it was such an issue.
Good luck and take care of yourself!
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Post by skittlesdemon on Aug 27, 2014 20:12:17 GMT -5
I understand being nervous ordering food at a new place, but once you've done it a few times it'll be second nature. Also like Ura said try going to a store and buying some food in the meantime. I'd suggest getting some gatorade/powerade too while you are at it. As for tonight, do you have money for ordering take out? If being on a phone is also a problem for you many places allow you to order online, for example most of the major Pizza places. Go to one of their websites (find one that is close to your dorm), look at the menu and decide what you want. Tomorrow make yourself go to the cafeteria. If it helps, take a moment to watch other people and read the menus before getting in line. Prepare yourself and you'll feel better about it. The nerves are not worth starving yourself for, you'll look back and wonder why it was such an issue. Good luck and take care of yourself! I only have meal swipes from the minimum automatic campus meal plan, these purchase meals from campus restaurants, I have no money, so unless I steal from a supermarket going there is not going to help. Even if I had money I still would not order pizza, that is because I have never experienced that interaction before and I would have to wait in the dorm lobby, which is small and crowded...
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Post by Karen on Aug 27, 2014 20:42:47 GMT -5
Hey Skittles, welcome to SU! I'm so sorry to see how hard things have been for you. You have to eat though. If the campus restaurants are your only option then you must learn to use them. I know it can be very scary, I am terrified of going into new places where I don't know the way things are supposed to go. However, try to think of a few things: one: a lot of the other students are also new just like you, and they don't know how things work either, you're not the only one. Two, no one is going to notice you at all, particularly if its crowded, all you'll need to do is get through that first experience, even take the food back to your room if you like, but after the first time, it'll be easier every other time, you'll know how things work, and you'll get used to it. The likely procedure is that there will be a line, you go to the end of it, along the way you'll pick up a tray, then, there will be lots of food options, just pick anything, even just one thing, so you're not trying to make lots of decisions that first time. follow along the line to the end, hand your card to the person, or they'll point to were you swipe it yourself. and that's it. done. Plus, you can watch the people in front of you and see what they do. I'm not saying it wont be intimidating, but, you need to eat. Please go and get some food at the first possible opportunity. Maybe if you go very early in the morning, before a lot of other people are awake, it may be easier for you. However you choose to do it. You need to do it. Please let us know how it goes, we want to know you're okay!
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Post by skittlesdemon on Aug 28, 2014 7:34:06 GMT -5
Hey Skittles, welcome to SU! I'm so sorry to see how hard things have been for you. You have to eat though. If the campus restaurants are your only option then you must learn to use them. I know it can be very scary, I am terrified of going into new places where I don't know the way things are supposed to go. However, try to think of a few things: one: a lot of the other students are also new just like you, and they don't know how things work either, you're not the only one. Two, no one is going to notice you at all, particularly if its crowded, all you'll need to do is get through that first experience, even take the food back to your room if you like, but after the first time, it'll be easier every other time, you'll know how things work, and you'll get used to it. The likely procedure is that there will be a line, you go to the end of it, along the way you'll pick up a tray, then, there will be lots of food options, just pick anything, even just one thing, so you're not trying to make lots of decisions that first time. follow along the line to the end, hand your card to the person, or they'll point to were you swipe it yourself. and that's it. done. Plus, you can watch the people in front of you and see what they do. I'm not saying it wont be intimidating, but, you need to eat. Please go and get some food at the first possible opportunity. Maybe if you go very early in the morning, before a lot of other people are awake, it may be easier for you. However you choose to do it. You need to do it. Please let us know how it goes, we want to know you're okay! My problem yesterday when I tried was the huge crowd, easily above 100, and the fact that it is a buffet style place to eat, and I could not even find the line (the building itself has four or five entrances so that made things harder too) but I do think there are a few other restaurants that also take the meal card and those are not buffet style, I just need to find them, and I will try to get food if I can. Thanks for the support, everyone is really helpful here.
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Post by Karen on Aug 28, 2014 9:11:52 GMT -5
My problem yesterday when I tried was the huge crowd, easily above 100, and the fact that it is a buffet style place to eat, and I could not even find the line (the building itself has four or five entrances so that made things harder too) but I do think there are a few other restaurants that also take the meal card and those are not buffet style, I just need to find them, and I will try to get food if I can. Thanks for the support, everyone is really helpful here. If the cafeteria is so crowded you can't even find where the line to get food begins, I can imagine that's pretty scary. It does sound like one of the smaller campus restaurants will work better for you until you get a little more comfortable with how things work. Please try to find a place today. If all else fails, and you simply cannot find a place to get food, please go to the campus counselors, there are people there who will be glad to help you sort things out. They may even walk you through the process in the cafeteria the first time so you don't have to do it alone. Also until you've gotten food in your system, please try to drink lots of water. Again, let us know how it goes, I know I for one will be worried about you until I know you're okay! SU is a pretty supportive community, most people here know how you feel, we've all been there. I'm glad you've found us! I hope you'll stick around and use this community to make your college experience a little better.
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Post by Zoe on Aug 31, 2014 5:23:18 GMT -5
Hi Skittles, i hope you were able to find some restaurants that takes the meal card and have eaten some food. Wishing you all the best.
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Post by Audio the obscure on Sept 6, 2014 18:26:21 GMT -5
Hello Skittles! Welcome to SU:)
I am the Queen of what you're going through. I hope you can get through that first hurdle because you need to get some food to you asap as you most certainly are aware. I used to live in a roominghouse and my shyness (people-anxiety for me specifically) was so bad, I couldn't go to the kitchen to cook food, but I made do in the room with anything edible. As another person said, maybe you could go see one of the counselors who will surely help you, even in practical ways to get something to eat. Could you go to a convenience or other store and just buy anything for now (chips, fruit, milk or juice) just to get a much needed something on your stomach, until you can get something better to eat? What about family or friends? Could they help you with food for now until you get into the swing of things around the university/dorm. Or go either really early when nobody's there, like someone else suggested, so you don't have to be around crowds. I wish I had other suggestions to offer.
All the best to you:) and again, welcome to SU:)
Audio
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Post by Karen on Sept 8, 2014 13:11:34 GMT -5
Hey Skittles, I hope you got used to getting food. Please come around and let us know how you're doing. I just wanted you to know we're still thinking about you here at SU, and we care how things turn out for you.
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Post by YouNeedLove on Sept 25, 2014 9:58:23 GMT -5
No idea if the poster is still around but this happened me too! I needed psychiatric intervention.
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snfu
New Member
Posts: 12
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Post by snfu on Feb 14, 2015 0:29:19 GMT -5
Yeah this may be severe social anxiety.. Take drugs for it if you can get them, even if it's shyness it'll suck where you are at without them.
I'm naturally shy but I could do this just avoiding people and trying not to attract attention.. It'd be tense for sure..
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Post by hollow on Mar 15, 2015 17:52:16 GMT -5
I can't help but wonder if they got something to eat. Hopefully they worked it out. This takes me back to when I was in college and going to the huge cafeteria. In my case I think everything was sitting out and we'd just get it ourselves. I'd usually go on off peak hours and bring a book. I hate eating in public. I'd say standing off a bit and watching others order first could also help.
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Post by Audio the obscure on Mar 30, 2015 14:19:02 GMT -5
I have no problem with eating in public. It's cooking when others are around. That's my brand of social anxiety. Thankfully, I'm in my own apt (such as it is), but can cook in private as much as I want.
Skittles, if you've come back periodically on SU, I hope you were able to get some food. If you have time, please give us an update. Take care:).
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