Insecure, afraid of moving countries

[ineba]

Hi all. I created this thread because i want to share my current situation and look for advice. I am currently 22 years old and at a third year of my Uni studies. I am a very shy and insecure person. At my University I only talk to few friends I feel close to, and with others only very little (answering question, only talking about exams..). Recently, i applied to a language course in Germany for 2 months so i could learn German language and maybe improve my social "situation". But i am afraid of making the same mistake i made for years! For example: Everywhere i go i make an impression of a very quiet and sometimes weird guy and i am unable to make connections with people, especially with opposite sex, and every time i try to talk more my mind goes blank, like i have nothing to say and offer (and i feel like that to). My friend told me that i should really rethink of going to Germany because if i go in this current condition it would be even worse for my self-esteem and that i will make even worst impression because i talk very little in my language that i know perfectly, but German, i know very little, so i would talk even less... I don't really know what to do, i hear other people say, that would be good for people like me because i would leave my comfort zone and that this could be something completely new that i have never done before, but on the other hand, i am bringing my self and all my problems there and they won't go away just by moving there and that i won't make enough effort to change myself. Friend also told me that i don't know how to use situations and opportunities that were given to my, and he is right, i did have some opportunities to change my life but i didn't and i feel more and more dissapointed as life goes by and i feel like i am stuck, that i can't do anything right. Even at my University i am not very good (i don't have a social life and i am not good at my studies, career, no any important skills...)
 New people often see me as quite and boring, with no good conversation, and that is my biggest fear for trying something new.