Where does your shyness end?

[jaeksmith]

Thought I'd start a parallel thread to gaz's "What cause your shyness?" thread.

What are the limits / bounds of your shyness? Does your shyness rear it's head only in certain situations? Is there a point (situations, extends) where the shyness stops?

[jaeksmith]

I'll start with one that probably comes as no surprise-

I tend to be social in the computer science lab at the local college.

Some key reasons are probably my interest, comfort, and capability with the things discussed in this situation.

Some minor reasons might be- Body language needs are often reduced (as people in the lab often focus on computers - even during conversations).

I am often even extroverted in this lab. The effect is so altering that I used to refer to it as a Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde type thing.

(Unfortunately I've never found quite a similar situation outside the lab - and other people's interest in the lab wanes as computers are more available and used more-and-more as social devices).

[gaz]

I tend to be shy with certain people; Especially older people, people of authority such as work bosses, and people who appear really confident (I tend to relate to other shy people), also females of my own age o'r younger (I feel more comfortable with older females)

I can be extroverted at times with people I am comfortable with.

[Linzi]

gaz said:

I tend to be shy with certain people; Especially older people, people of authority such as work bosses, and people who appear really confident (I tend to relate to other shy people), also females of my own age o'r younger (I feel more comfortable with older females)

I can be extroverted at times with people I am comfortable with.

Sounds exactly like me (apart from the female part ). Its actually frustrating because I know that I can be more confident, but still seem to be uncomfortable with certain people.

[timid]

Yeah - seems to be a consensus! I am also for sure not shy with people who I am comfortable with and feel accept me. To people I am not comfortable with I feel I am stupid and boring to boot!

[marty]

I am NOT shy when I'm around people whom I feel are in my same element: radio hams, people who have synesthesia, Mac users, antique car enthusiasts.

But in a social setting where I don't feel like I'm in my element (a party, a formal dinner, a sports event, a bar) I just clam right up... but I think this is only partly out of shyness, the rest comes from feeling turned off to the situation.

[puma]

While at work is where my shyness is the worst. I have a hard time talking to my co-workers and thinking up things to say, as a way to start some small talk.

Mainly, I think that my thing is: if someone else starts a conversation with me, I'm fine and I'm very talkative and can hold a conversation, yet if I feel as though I'm the one who has to try and start the conversation, I just do horribly at it and I get very anxious, blush often, can't think up topics to discuss, trip over my words, etc.

[annaa]

linzi said:

gaz said:

I tend to be shy with certain people; Especially older people, people of authority such as work bosses, and people who appear really confident (I tend to relate to other shy people), also females of my own age o'r younger (I feel more comfortable with older females)

I can be extroverted at times with people I am comfortable with.

Sounds exactly like me (apart from the female part ). Its actually frustrating because I know that I can be more confident, but still seem to be uncomfortable with certain people.

Yeah, people of authority make me shy, although some of that is down to common courtesy. Also, people that I feel are 'better' than me in some way. They don't necessarily have to be in charge of what I do, but if I feel they are more knowledgable/smarter/talented than me, conversation is difficult.

Members of the opposite sex make me shy too. Reguardless of whether or not I find them attractive. Similarly, I feel comfortable with people of the opposite sex who are older; they've been slapped around the face by women enough times to know when enough is enough. Ok on a more serious note, older men are alright.

It's odd because really little kids i'm comfortable around. 'Adults' i'm comfortable around. But anyone who's a teenager really messes me up. Even if i'm told they're anxious too.

I remember a while ago my home tutor introduced me to another one of her students. He was a year younger than me, and he was taken out of school for the same reason I was: overwhelming social anxiety. Despite me knowing this before I met him, I still felt really uncomfortable about the whole thing.

[missjenny]

im shy with everyone especially my family for som reason. Hi mom!

[HybridMoment]

I can function very well at work, some of the newer people don't seem to think I'm shy at all.

Every other social situation I've seemed to get even worse at though, my avoidance of people is at an all time high. Besides going to work, I haven't been into a store or anything for a very long time. I think I've become too good at finding ways not to leave my house for necessities. I've even managed to drive so that I only have to fill my truck up with gas once a month.

[gaz]

It's so much easier to shop on the internet so I don't really go to many shops and I live in a place with no shops o'r anything anyway.

[Rose]

I wouldn't say it ends totally in any situation, but I seem to be least shy at parties and social gatherings only when there's some interactive physical activity going on, such as volleyball, basketball, freeze tag, and such.. Even board games are good in a group. Then everyone's busy playing. No one gets left out. You can suck at conversation and STILL have fun. It's a good chance for everyone to feel more intellectually equal.. And best of all, no one has to stand around and force small talk, or worse.. discuss what we all do.

[phoenixferret]

I'm less shy with authority figures than with peers, and have been less shy with guys I like and guys I dislike in a way than with ones I feel neutral about. But I'm also less shy with people in general who feel "safe"--usually a combination of funny and accepting. I'm much less shy around other shy people.
I'm sometimes shy around children, until I get to know them a bit--they can be unpredicatble sometimes.

I think an element of introversion may be in play here, in that I don't honestly want that much to talk to the people I don't want to really get to know, so I just think subconsciously, "crap, I don't want to be here; why do I have to talk to this person, and when will it be over..?" I kind of caught myself thinking like this a few days ago; I hadn't really noticed it before. So I think a big element of my shyness is that I make things harder on myself by subconsciously dragging my feet about conversing, in many situations. I still get anxious and tongue-tied around people I would like to talk to, but not as much as around people that I don't feel strongly about talking to either positively or negatively.

I'm probably going to need to edit this later, lol. Maybe when I get my head around what I'm trying to say a little better.

[Sweet Pea]

hmmm...i guess my shyness ends where my extroversion begins...

[Paulinus]

While I'd say it never really ends it is less with some people. I'm usually better with other shy people,. Almost every friend I've ever made has been on the quiet side. I think I'm probably better with authority figures though that would depend on what their like, if I only have to function on a non personal level with someone its easier. When I was at uni I probably talked more with lecturers/tutors etc then fellow students