Alex
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Post by Alex on Feb 23, 2003 12:03:12 GMT -5
I have a very bad shyness problem in which i cant barely speak to people i dont know very well especially at school. I get soooooooo annoyed when people ask me howcome i dont talk to anybody, and annoying when people comment that im quiet. It is soo annoying.
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Alex
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Post by Alex on Feb 23, 2003 17:24:33 GMT -5
That sounds pretty much like me. My college had a formal last month and all my friends went with their girlfriends. I didn't go. It was horrible. I hate to endure torture for weeks in the buildup to it and them all talking excitedly about it.
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Tiff
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25-year old Administrative Assistant who crochets and knits!
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Post by Tiff on Feb 23, 2003 22:03:09 GMT -5
Hi,
My shyness comes from being felt inferior around some people..that I might not be interesting to them..because they have done more than I or they are older. I find I am very very shy around guys that I like very much. I have alot of trouble with eye contact.
I can relate. It is frustrating isn't it!
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ian
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Post by ian on Feb 23, 2003 23:56:57 GMT -5
That eye contact thing is a real killer, isn't it? What normally happens is you sort of turn away from people or look down at the ground or something like that. This can actually make the other person think you're a bit of a snob and you think you're better than them. We both know it's the exact opposite, isn't it?
A month or so ago I was out somewhere and a pretty girl across the room was looking at me basically the whole night. A few times she even smiled at me. I'm ashamed to say that when she did, I sort of looked away every time.
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Tiff
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25-year old Administrative Assistant who crochets and knits!
Posts: 80
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Post by Tiff on Feb 24, 2003 0:05:43 GMT -5
Hi, Ian - aw I'm sorry I did the same thing with a guy I saw was looking at me and looked away and forgot to smile I always thinik smiles will be taken the wrong way..and when I think I am smiling I'm not. I'm trying to work on smiling more so.
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Post by hhlomaxx on Feb 24, 2003 0:57:15 GMT -5
Yeah - luckily im older and married now. Even your best friends ask that question. Do you find yourself making excuses? Wouldnt you just once like to tell someone to mind their business.
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ian
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Post by ian on Feb 24, 2003 3:49:03 GMT -5
Hi, Ian - aw I'm sorry I did the same thing with a guy I saw was looking at me and looked away and forgot to smile I always think smiles will be taken the wrong way..and when I think I am smiling I'm not. I'm trying to work on smiling more so. Me too Tiff. In future I will definitely try to smile more. I can't really explain what happened that night. All I know is that when that girl smiled at me, part of me felt really great, but part of me also felt really nervous. As usual the nervous side of me won out. For some reason, good looking women totally intimidate me and I never know what to do!!! Pretty stupid, huh?
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Tiff
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25-year old Administrative Assistant who crochets and knits!
Posts: 80
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Post by Tiff on Feb 24, 2003 7:12:13 GMT -5
Yeah - luckily im older and married now. Even your best friends ask that question. Do you find yourself making excuses? Wouldnt you just once like to tell someone to mind their business. Sometimes I wish I could tell people to mind their own business about that. I know some are trying to help..butsometimes you just don't want it. Ian - I knwo that feeling..you feel great and you almost feel scared. You're happy that the opposite sex is smiling at you..and then you're scared that they will talk to you and wonder if they won't talk to you anymore because you're not interesting..or whatever. It stinks.
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ian
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Post by ian on Feb 24, 2003 20:05:29 GMT -5
Ian - I know that feeling..you feel great and you almost feel scared. You're happy that the opposite sex is smiling at you..and then you're scared that they will talk to you and wonder if they won't talk to you anymore because you're not interesting..or whatever. It stinks. Tiff, it's really hard to explain to non-shy people what that actually feels like. I know it's stupid to feel scared when a member of the opposite sex shows interest in me, but that's the way I feel. All sorts of things go through my head like 'what should I say?', 'how should I act?' and 'what if I make a fool of myself?'. The worst part is that I usually think I'm not good enough for a really great girl to like me, and I tend to just give up. I am trying to change. I am trying to be more positive, and outgoing, but it's a slow process. I hope that one day I will get there, and I hope you will get there too, Tiff.
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Tiff
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25-year old Administrative Assistant who crochets and knits!
Posts: 80
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Post by Tiff on Feb 24, 2003 20:17:48 GMT -5
Tiff, it's really hard to explain to non-shy people what that actually feels like. I know it's stupid to feel scared when a member of the opposite sex shows interest in me, but that's the way I feel. All sorts of things go through my head like 'what should I say?', 'how should I act?' and 'what if I make a fool of myself?'. The worst part is that I usually think I'm not good enough for a really great girl to like me, and I tend to just give up. I am trying to change. I am trying to be more positive, friendly and outgoing, but it's a slow process. I hope that one day I will get there, and I hope that you will get there too, Tiff. Ian - thank you I hope I will get there and my shyness will decrease over time. I know exactly how you feel as far as the opposite sex. This one guy at work...I asked him out for drinks back in September and I was heart broken we never hung out again. We swap pictures back and forth from trips we go on..but oh well. He's older than me by about 11 years so I'm guessing I"m just a little girl to him. It's okay..I just feel sad sometimes. Do you ever feel very sensitive around other people you want peopel to like you..but the ones that don't..you're sad about?
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ian
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Post by ian on Feb 24, 2003 20:38:42 GMT -5
I know exactly how you feel as far as the opposite sex. This one guy at work...I asked him out for drinks back in September and I was heart broken we never hung out again. We swap pictures back and forth from trips we go on..but oh well. He's older than me by about 11 years so I'm guessing I"m just a little girl to him. It's okay..I just feel sad sometimes. Do you ever feel very sensitive around other people you want people to like you..but the ones that don't..you're sad about? Tiff, I'm a bit unsure about that question. What exactly do you mean? As for age, I'm 12 years older than you and I certainly wouldn't think of you as a little girl.
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Tiff
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25-year old Administrative Assistant who crochets and knits!
Posts: 80
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Post by Tiff on Feb 24, 2003 21:48:45 GMT -5
Tiff, I'm a bit unsure about that question. What exactly do you mean? As for age, I'm 12 years older than you and I certainly wouldn't think of you as a little girl. Oh thanks Ian Nice of you to say. The question was: I notice with my shyness I"m usually sensitive to what others think about me..etc. Are you sensitive to how people feel about you or do you let it roll off?
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ian
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Post by ian on Feb 25, 2003 6:58:28 GMT -5
Oh thanks Ian Nice of you to say. The question was: I notice with my shyness I"m usually sensitive to what others think about me..etc. Are you sensitive to how people feel about you or do you let it roll off? Tiff, I must admit that I am sensitive when it comes to the way people feel about me. I know that I shouldn't be. I mean, everyone is different, so not everyone is going to like me. But that's just the way I am. When I meet people, I do really want them to like me.
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Tiff
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25-year old Administrative Assistant who crochets and knits!
Posts: 80
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Post by Tiff on Feb 25, 2003 9:37:58 GMT -5
Hi,
Ian - I know what you mean. I wish I could let it roll..and just take it in stride that some people just aren't going to like you or be your friend no matter how much you might want them to.
Oh well.
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ian
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Post by ian on Feb 26, 2003 22:12:35 GMT -5
Hi, Ian - I know what you mean. I wish I could let it roll..and just take it in stride that some people just aren't going to like you or be your friend no matter how much you might want them to. Oh well. I had an experience that illustrates that very point recently. I happened to meet these two blokes, who were obviously great mates. Now one of them was instantly pretty friendly towards me and we had a bit of a chat. But the other guy hardly said a word to me and for some reason, when he did it was very sarcastic and nasty. He had obviously made up his mind very early that he didn't like me at all. I must admit that his comments upset me and I decided to leave. Now that obviously shows that not everyone is going to like us and we really should just try to concentrate on the people that do, instead of worrying about the people that don't.
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