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Post by cleo on Mar 14, 2003 8:52:29 GMT -5
Do you know what really gets on my nerves. Being called shy. If I'm out with some of my work colleagues and one of them asks me why I am not talking and another one tells them I'm shy - I hate that!. It may be true but I hate people calling me shy. Ah, she's shy! I would sooner be called quiet or just cleo. Does this ring true for anybody else. Do you have a name that you are called that you hate?
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Post by unionjackattack86 on Mar 14, 2003 13:10:36 GMT -5
yeah it can be annoying sometimes, its not something to be ashamed of though, I don't think so anyway. It usually happens when my mum or a family member is introducing me to some strangers, they usually comment that i'm quiet/shy. Sometimes people think somethings wrong with me as well, like i'm upset or something. One example of this was when I went the pub with my college group, because I didn't talk much they assumed something was upsetting me, and people kept checking up with me when I was alone to see if I was alright. I don't know about other shy people on here, but I don't smile alot, I only smile if I have a reason to really and on one occasion, I was at a party and this woman just wouldn't stop coming up to me and saying stuff like cheer up you look as though it never happened, or something like that. Its kinda annoying because i'm not going to walk around with a smile on my face all the time, it would look weird.
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Post by NewOrleansLady on Mar 16, 2003 5:14:04 GMT -5
I completly know what you mean, Cleo. I especially hate it when I think that I am being pretty outspoken and somebody says it to me. I think that I hate it mostly because it's true and i wish it weren't. I used to dismiss it by telling myself that the other people are just loud and obnoxious and I'M the normal one. I had a baby 10 months ago and being a parent has really made me come out of my shell but, I still will never be as outspoken as other people. I have said many times that I can't smile all the time, I know what you mean about that too, that only freaks have a smile on their face ALL the time. I wonder if I look like a miserable person when people feel like they have to tell me to smile? The thought me telling somebody else that has never crossed my mind so it makes me wonder how other people percieve me if they feel the need to tell me to smile. I think that I am a pleasent person. ;D
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Post by unionjackattack86 on Mar 17, 2003 5:02:23 GMT -5
"I think that I am a pleasent person." I think you are too
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Post by urbanspaceman on Mar 27, 2003 13:05:04 GMT -5
'He doesn't say much, he's shy'..... or timid, or quiet. They all kind of get on my nerves. I know it's nothing to be ashamed of, but somebody pointing it out to someone else I hardly know doesn't make me feel any better about getting to know that person. When me and my friends go out for a few drinks it sometimes crops up, when one of our group gets talking to a stranger. Because I'm never the one to start up a conversation in that kind of situation, I always seem to get portrayed as 'the shy one'. Which then seems to generate 'Aw..' or something to that effect. Don't get me wrong, I thank god I've got friends like I have, but being the sympathy vote all the time kind of grates after a while. And yes, I know, I'm the only one who can do something about it.
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Post by kittyn on Mar 27, 2003 19:26:35 GMT -5
I know what you guys mean! I can't stand it whenever someone tells me I'm shy/quiet. Believe me, that doesn't help a shy person like me one bit..it makes me feel even worse about my situation! There are times where I think I contribute a lot to a discussion, but someone always have to ruin it by telling me how shy I am. I bet they say that because they can't think of anything else to say. Well, that's how I feel..Anyways, I think it's great how there are so many shy people to talk to. I now know that I'm not the only one!!
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Post by NewOrleansLady on Mar 27, 2003 22:04:04 GMT -5
No you're not the only one at all, Kittyn. Dosen't it feel good to actually have that confirmed? Deep down I've always known that I wasn't the only one but, the way that I viewed things led me to believe otherwise.
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Post by spitzig on Mar 30, 2003 23:42:00 GMT -5
Well, really, the only time being called shy bothers me is when they associate "not fun" with it. Also, I've had quite a few people tell me they didn't know I was shy even though I'd met them several times(confusing, to me). So, obviously, I can hide my shyness sometimes. It's hard to hide it if someone announces it, though. And, someone isn't going to make lots of other possible assumptions(mostly bad ones) that seem really common about shy people, if they don't know I'm shy.
However, if someone asks why I don't talk much, seems like a stupid question. I always thought it was meant as a judgement--"you should say more/entertain me more", so it pissed me off. But shyness isn't the only answer, so it's not a bad one. People don't neccessarily say anything if they are bored with the conversation, don't like the person, and I'm sure there are other reasons.
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Tiff
Junior Member
25-year old Administrative Assistant who crochets and knits!
Posts: 80
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Post by Tiff on Mar 31, 2003 8:39:05 GMT -5
Hi,
Well my friends probably wouldn't call me shy they would say I'm very chatty. However when I'm with a group of people I don't know well or not feeling too confident about something, then I become very very quiet.
as with alot of myths on shyness..people assume that are you being a snob..etc. I never realized I gave off that impression before.
I hate feeling like i have to "entertain" people. If I'm a quiet person and I'm content and don't have anything pressing to say at the moment..(doesn't mean the other person can't talk to me)..I don't like feeling I have to entertain or pretend..etc.
Ever feel that way?
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Post by spitzig on Mar 31, 2003 11:44:53 GMT -5
I don't know if I've been thought a snob, but I have had people think I didn't like them. The specific time I'm thinking of was because I was shy, and also didn't usually have time to talk to the guy because I was going to study, though. Actually, I WISH I felt that way. I usually feel guilty that I can't entertain people. I put all the pressure on myself, when in a 2 person conversation, the pressure should be equal. as with alot of myths on shyness..people assume that are you being a snob..etc. I never realized I gave off that impression before. I hate feeling like i have to "entertain" people. If I'm a quiet person and I'm content and don't have anything pressing to say at the moment..(doesn't mean the other person can't talk to me)..I don't like feeling I have to entertain or pretend..etc. Ever feel that way?
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Tiff
Junior Member
25-year old Administrative Assistant who crochets and knits!
Posts: 80
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Post by Tiff on Mar 31, 2003 14:37:56 GMT -5
IActually, I WISH I felt that way. I usually feel guilty that I can't entertain people. I put all the pressure on myself, when in a 2 person conversation, the pressure should be equal. I agree the pressure should be equal. I usually feel I'm not entertaining anyways..so I don't say much...thinking my life isn't that intersted to talk about..etc.
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Post by spitzig on Apr 1, 2003 3:08:31 GMT -5
I agree the pressure should be equal. I usually feel I'm not entertaining anyways..so I don't say much...thinking my life isn't that intersted to talk about..etc. You seemed to keep me entertained. I thought you were doing a lot more than 50%.
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Tiff
Junior Member
25-year old Administrative Assistant who crochets and knits!
Posts: 80
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Post by Tiff on Apr 1, 2003 5:06:03 GMT -5
You seemed to keep me entertained. I thought you were doing a lot more than 50%. Hi, Charlie - thank you! Nice of you to say! I Guess it depends on the people I talk to. Online does make it alot easier than face to face contact..which is most of my issue when talking with guys.
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