Post by magnatolia on Oct 21, 2006 5:23:44 GMT -5
Hey All,
This might help someone. I figured out in the last week exactly what my problem is. I have lots of 'sub-problems' and finally found what I think is the main problem.
The only way I can really describe it is that I am cynical in that I always expect things to go wrong. It explains why I have had trouble making friends cos I either expect too much or have the attitude that something will go wrong. Like if someone says no a couple of times I expect its me. Or when someone doesn't return my email for like a week then I start thinking that they've changed their mind or are ignoring me.
A prime example is a friend of a friend. I told my friend I was interested in being friends with her friend, so she gave my number to her friend and I didn't hear anything for about a month. Then her friend suggested that the three of us do something. So I get her email address and send a message. No reply for about 2 weeks. So I assumed she wasn't interested but find out that she doesn't return messages of the other friend either (so it isn't me). In the end we caught up and chatted for a bit. Normally I would've thrown her in the too hard/not interested basket.
Obviously some people are just not interested. But now that I am aware of my short-coming I am able to occasionally spot the telltale signs and reign myself in. Plus my idea of a friend is a bit too strict. I used to consider a person a friend if we have met in person and I have her number. So now I have 4 friends. My original friend, her friend, a person I've been chatting to online (meeting up in a few weeks) and a friend from work.
This might help someone. I figured out in the last week exactly what my problem is. I have lots of 'sub-problems' and finally found what I think is the main problem.
The only way I can really describe it is that I am cynical in that I always expect things to go wrong. It explains why I have had trouble making friends cos I either expect too much or have the attitude that something will go wrong. Like if someone says no a couple of times I expect its me. Or when someone doesn't return my email for like a week then I start thinking that they've changed their mind or are ignoring me.
A prime example is a friend of a friend. I told my friend I was interested in being friends with her friend, so she gave my number to her friend and I didn't hear anything for about a month. Then her friend suggested that the three of us do something. So I get her email address and send a message. No reply for about 2 weeks. So I assumed she wasn't interested but find out that she doesn't return messages of the other friend either (so it isn't me). In the end we caught up and chatted for a bit. Normally I would've thrown her in the too hard/not interested basket.
Obviously some people are just not interested. But now that I am aware of my short-coming I am able to occasionally spot the telltale signs and reign myself in. Plus my idea of a friend is a bit too strict. I used to consider a person a friend if we have met in person and I have her number. So now I have 4 friends. My original friend, her friend, a person I've been chatting to online (meeting up in a few weeks) and a friend from work.
