Post by mindshaver on Sept 24, 2007 13:49:54 GMT -5
Hey 
.
I seriously think I just unlocked the key to shyness (or, at least MY shyness anyway), so I figured I'd post it just in case you could benefit from it, too. The title says it all, it indeed is exhilarating.
Alright, so a week or so ago I was feeling DOWN. I mean like, really, really down. Nothing could cheer me up... not even the fact that this very same day was my birthday. And if you're not happy on your birthday... something's obviously wrong. So, I decided to kind of relax. I had no idea why I was feeling this way, but it kind of felt like my body was trying to tell me something. Something really important. After a little while, I began to rebalance myself, and I came to a very odd and stunning realization about myself, and maybe even about shyness altogether. My shyness had been restricting my ability to both be and love myself wholly!
Being the shy, bottled up type of guy I was (and only partially still am), I felt like I never got the chance to just be myself. I was always afraid to make waves, afraid of disagreement or hurting somebody else's feelings. And hey, I bet every single one of us shy people have felt somewhat like this before. But this had gone too far, and I knew something had to change. I had to "reclaim my identity" so to speak. So what conclusion did I draw? Honesty.
I realized that nothing beats being completely, totally and 100% honest with yourself. That way, it's easiest to analyze your problem and why you might feel the way you do. And shortly afterward, I realized this is an attitude that I could maybe apply to my daily life... and guess what? My anxiety has been reduced by about 50% already. I also learned a few other things. You can't be afraid of stepping on other people's toes, sometimes. Sometimes you just have to express the way you feel, and quit doing what I had been doing - Bottling yourself up - in order to reach your antishyness-potential. Also, I've been sort of meditating lately, and it's been helping me to feel more "in tune" with myself. For once, I actually feel like I like the guy I am, not just what other people see me as, and that's helped my shyness to dissipate as well.
And now for the big one... fear of rejection and failure. I'm still not fully over this one, because it's a huge hump to cross over. I think at some level or another, everybody has felt this way, or maybe still does to some degree in their life. So the main idea is not to eliminate it, but maybe to just take the edge off the knife. One good thing to keep in mind, though, is that shyness is really common worldwide... there's just different levels of it. So whenever you think you're alone, remember - You're NOT. We're in his one together, yo.
Also, after really giving it some good thought, I've found out a few more ways to knock anxiety back. Just a few mental exercises you can do. First off, always remember that you're not nearly as transparent as it may seem. No, people can't see right through you like you think they can. So hey, most people you encounter probably don't even know you're shy to begin with. So you can lay that one to rest.
Also, remember that shyness is extremely common. I once read that 90% of America's population admit to being shy. Can you believe that? Also, I read once that in some other countries, it's been documented that most "popular kids/people" in school/at work, are in fact the shy ones, as opposed to here in america, where the loudest, most extroverted people are the ones seen with the highest status quo/popularity amongst coworkers/other students. So it's all just another reminder to not worry about it, and to remember that you're never alone!!
Whew, I'm tired from all the typing. If you read all this, congratulations, you're probably the only one. Hopefully somebody else can benefit from it as I did. It definitely shines a light on shyness and makes it look much less like a scary position to be in. So, yeah. Rock on and try it on for size. Who knows? It might just look good on you
.I seriously think I just unlocked the key to shyness (or, at least MY shyness anyway), so I figured I'd post it just in case you could benefit from it, too. The title says it all, it indeed is exhilarating.
Alright, so a week or so ago I was feeling DOWN. I mean like, really, really down. Nothing could cheer me up... not even the fact that this very same day was my birthday. And if you're not happy on your birthday... something's obviously wrong. So, I decided to kind of relax. I had no idea why I was feeling this way, but it kind of felt like my body was trying to tell me something. Something really important. After a little while, I began to rebalance myself, and I came to a very odd and stunning realization about myself, and maybe even about shyness altogether. My shyness had been restricting my ability to both be and love myself wholly!
Being the shy, bottled up type of guy I was (and only partially still am), I felt like I never got the chance to just be myself. I was always afraid to make waves, afraid of disagreement or hurting somebody else's feelings. And hey, I bet every single one of us shy people have felt somewhat like this before. But this had gone too far, and I knew something had to change. I had to "reclaim my identity" so to speak. So what conclusion did I draw? Honesty.
I realized that nothing beats being completely, totally and 100% honest with yourself. That way, it's easiest to analyze your problem and why you might feel the way you do. And shortly afterward, I realized this is an attitude that I could maybe apply to my daily life... and guess what? My anxiety has been reduced by about 50% already. I also learned a few other things. You can't be afraid of stepping on other people's toes, sometimes. Sometimes you just have to express the way you feel, and quit doing what I had been doing - Bottling yourself up - in order to reach your antishyness-potential. Also, I've been sort of meditating lately, and it's been helping me to feel more "in tune" with myself. For once, I actually feel like I like the guy I am, not just what other people see me as, and that's helped my shyness to dissipate as well.
And now for the big one... fear of rejection and failure. I'm still not fully over this one, because it's a huge hump to cross over. I think at some level or another, everybody has felt this way, or maybe still does to some degree in their life. So the main idea is not to eliminate it, but maybe to just take the edge off the knife. One good thing to keep in mind, though, is that shyness is really common worldwide... there's just different levels of it. So whenever you think you're alone, remember - You're NOT. We're in his one together, yo.
Also, after really giving it some good thought, I've found out a few more ways to knock anxiety back. Just a few mental exercises you can do. First off, always remember that you're not nearly as transparent as it may seem. No, people can't see right through you like you think they can. So hey, most people you encounter probably don't even know you're shy to begin with. So you can lay that one to rest.
Also, remember that shyness is extremely common. I once read that 90% of America's population admit to being shy. Can you believe that? Also, I read once that in some other countries, it's been documented that most "popular kids/people" in school/at work, are in fact the shy ones, as opposed to here in america, where the loudest, most extroverted people are the ones seen with the highest status quo/popularity amongst coworkers/other students. So it's all just another reminder to not worry about it, and to remember that you're never alone!!
Whew, I'm tired from all the typing. If you read all this, congratulations, you're probably the only one
. Hopefully somebody else can benefit from it as I did. It definitely shines a light on shyness and makes it look much less like a scary position to be in. So, yeah. Rock on and try it on for size. Who knows? It might just look good on you 
