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Post by shyaussiegal on Jul 10, 2006 18:24:27 GMT -5
Touché! LOL I was in a shitty mood yesterday, hence the fiesty attitude... I'll play nice now... hehe, promise ;D
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Post by shytothebone on Jul 10, 2006 20:14:31 GMT -5
It goes with the whole nice guys finish last thing. Some of it also is the lack of respect taught in todays society. Yes it is a lost art. I try to do all those things for women when I can and every time I do a always get some jerk-off telling me I am just sucking up so a can get a little booty. It doesn't pay to be nice anymore.
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Post by MrNice on Jul 10, 2006 22:11:21 GMT -5
no - it does not PAY to be nice
all the advice concerning being nice and courteous should come with a disclaimer such as:
do no expect any benefits whatsoever from being nice and courteous its good for society and it makes women feel flattered - but do not expect anything for yourself repeat: do not expect any benefit for yourself from following this advice ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
for some reason when advice is given to not be nice the 'be yourself' is thrown in rather quickly well, same goes for being nice - just be yourself if you don't feel like opening that door - don't do it
I don't know about other people, but for myself, I feel like doing these things when I feel good - and there is no questions coming up in my mind such as how will I look doing it? should I do it? or hmm this will make me a better person - it just comes with the mood
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Post by skyhint on Jul 10, 2006 22:18:08 GMT -5
no - it does not PAY to be nice all the advice concerning being nice and courteous should come with a disclaimer such as: do no expect any benefits whatsoever from being nice and courteous its good for society and it makes women feel flattered - but do not expect anything for yourself repeat: do not expect any benefit for yourself from following this advice ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ for some reason when advice is given to not be nice the 'be yourself' is thrown in rather quickly well, same goes for being nice - just be yourself if you don't feel like opening that door - don't do it But it takes so very little effort to be nice.
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Post by zaab on Jul 10, 2006 22:20:07 GMT -5
I don't know. In some small way you are helping to create the kind of world you want to live in (assuming you DO want to live in this kind of world) and that can be empowering. That's a benefit.
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Post by Crashtastic on Jul 10, 2006 22:37:00 GMT -5
I don't know. In some small way you are helping to create the kind of world you want to live in (assuming you DO want to live in this kind of world) and that can be empowering. That's a benefit. I don't know either. I think you do get something out of it if you like doing things for others. I wouldn't want someone to do something for me if they felt obligated to do it. Its not so nice when you make the other person feel like a nuisance because of your "good deed".
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Post by zaab on Jul 10, 2006 22:45:28 GMT -5
I mean, I'm not going to act like an ass just to spite the world and because I think if I do act cool I'm not going to get an immediate payoff. I'm going to act cool because I AM cool and screw what anyone else thinks about it
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Post by MrNice on Jul 10, 2006 22:47:53 GMT -5
if you are not doing it from the heart but 'to get something out of it' thats my problem with this whole system I know its possible to do it from the heart - but whenever a cost benefit analysis comes in - it all goes downhill if a thought such as 'this will make me a good person' comes in before you actually take the action of helping someone - something's wrong with that this is just my opinion but on a phylosofical note - this is what religion and political systems try to accomplish - create a manual for people, to create some sort of a good world it always goes downhill though
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Post by MrNice on Jul 10, 2006 22:48:59 GMT -5
whoever suggested acting like an ass? do you need to act at all?
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Post by skyhint on Jul 10, 2006 22:53:55 GMT -5
if you are not doing it from the heart but 'to get something out of it' thats my problem with this whole system I know its possible to do it from the heart - but whenever a cost benefit analysis comes in - it all goes downhill if a thought such as 'this will make me a good person' comes in before you actually take the action of helping someone - something's wrong with that this is just my opinion but on a phylosofical note - this is what religion and political systems try to accomplish - create a manual for people, to create some sort of a good world it always goes downhill though Don't think of it that way. In fact, don't think of it at all. It just should be one of those things that your parents burnt into your brain when you were young. Like when someone says 'thank you' you say 'you're welcome'. Its just what you do, no hidden meaning.
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Post by zaab on Jul 10, 2006 23:08:11 GMT -5
whoever suggested acting like an ass? do you need to act at all? Noone suggested it. I was using it as an example. I worked in retail for a number of years and customers would act like asses for no good reason at all when it would be just as easy for them to be civil.
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Post by MrNice on Jul 10, 2006 23:13:46 GMT -5
its easy for people to be civil if they are happy with themselves if they are not they can force themselves to be civil, but its all going to come out somewhere at some point anyway
again, I am not advocating acting like an ass - just that the method of teaching people to be nice fails in the long run
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Post by skyhint on Jul 10, 2006 23:15:28 GMT -5
Well, what you give is what you get. If you behave rudely, expect to be treated that way.
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Post by Crashtastic on Jul 10, 2006 23:22:16 GMT -5
if you are not doing it from the heart but 'to get something out of it' thats my problem with this whole system I know its possible to do it from the heart - but whenever a cost benefit analysis comes in - it all goes downhill if a thought such as 'this will make me a good person' comes in before you actually take the action of helping someone - something's wrong with that this is just my opinion but on a phylosofical note - this is what religion and political systems try to accomplish - create a manual for people, to create some sort of a good world it always goes downhill though I think the value of good manners is something that should be taught rather than the act itself. Courtesy is something that should be done because it makes someone else feel good not because you want to be a good person. Its where your intentions lie that matters. You get something out of knowing that you made someone else's day a little easier no matter how small that may be. If one person is taught that kindness pays off then they may teach someone else until we're all holding hands across the land! My point is in there somewhere.
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Post by Crashtastic on Jul 10, 2006 23:28:05 GMT -5
its easy for people to be civil if they are happy with themselves if they are not they can force themselves to be civil, I can't say that I'm necessarily happy with myself, but I certainly don't have to force myself to be civil. I know what its like to be treated like crap and know what its like to be treated not so crap, as I'm sure most people do. Knowing what crap feels like, I wouldn't want to inflict it upon someone else.
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