Is it just me or does that pic look like the all powerful Phil is resting his head on a giant fluffy egg?
No I haven't had my medication yet.
Well some followers of Phil believe that when the Collins is in the heavens he sleeps on a giant fluffy egg. This has lead some to believe that god is in fact a giant Chicken which would also go on to explain why chicken tastes so good and why everything tastes like it.
Opposition to this theory say its all just a bad yolk.
Last Edit: Aug 2, 2006 16:07:02 GMT -5 by Paulinus
Post by urbanspaceman on Aug 2, 2006 16:32:30 GMT -5
While the photo Buzzz has obtained is only an artist's impression (from the Collins renaissance period), scientists with goggles and shiny new name badges have confirmed that Phil's hat is made from the skin of former Genesis members, who were sacrificed in order to allow Phil to fully transcend mortality and take his place in the kingdom of heaven.
His hat is commonly known as a flat cap, but ancient philosophers once wrote of the annointment of the son of God with a headpiece resembling a human turd. Indeed, the great Philias the Perplexed observed: 'The true son of God shall be announced to the world by projecting his ugly mug onto a fried egg, whilst balancing a number two on his bonce. So it is written, so it shall be the truth'.
Watch the skys, brothers and sisters, watch the skies.....
Post by urbanspaceman on Aug 4, 2006 8:58:19 GMT -5
Non-believers have repeatedly asked me, 'What has Phil Collins done for me lately?'
To which I respond, 'What? Apart from sacrificing his lovely long locks and fetching beard to ensure everyone can live in a world with an endless supply of pickled onion Monster Munch and readily available Nectar points?'
Phil Collins Factorama - Fiat uno: Copernicus discovered that Earth revolved around Phil Collins. This was thought too controversial at the time so for the sake of social order agreed to cover it up by claiming Earth revolved around the Sun.
Phil Collins Factorama - Fiat Punto: The true nature of gravity only revealed itself to Newton when he saw Phil Collins fall out of a tree.
What about the anti phil he of the fast love who cannot be named who makes careless whispers and thinks he's your man. And when you fall asleep wham! he is there
Yes he is to be feared.
There are of course those who worship the anti phil and perform satanic rituals where they attempt to wake him up before they go go. The most notable instance of this happened last Christmas when one worshiper claimed to have gained possession of his heart. Investigations into the origin of this heart where inconclusive but we do know that the very next day it was given away.
Post by urbanspaceman on Sept 8, 2006 7:29:19 GMT -5
It has recently come to light that the song 'Jesus He Knows Me' was actually an overt attempt by the physical manifestation of the holy Phil to alert humankind to his presence here on earth.
The theory goes that Phil the almighty was desperately trying to alert his followers to the fact that the pseudo-prophet, commonly known as Raptor-Jesus, was aware of the true-son-of-God's identity, and that he would stop at nothing to withhold Phil's rightful claims as saviour-in-waiting. He knew he was right y'see.
Obviously the word 'Raptor' had to be removed from the song/spiritual message, that would've just been a bit too easy to figure out.
'Cos Jesus he knows me and he knows I'm right I've been talking to Jesus all my life oh yes he knows me and he knows I'm right and he's been telling me everything is alright'
Ah Raptor Jesus. Some scholars believe that this particular prophet was created by another pseudo-prophet Marc Bolan of T-Rex. Indeed it is believed that he was born out of Marcs 'Children of the Revolution' program. Interestingly this program was originally called 'Dinosaur Children of the Revolution' but as with Phil's message on Raptor Jesus that was too obvious.
It is less clear what happened to the other dinosaur prophets born from this program. It is known that they Loved to Boogie which meant they where found out to be false once the great Phil made it clear in yet another hymn/song that and I quote "I cant dance".
Rumors that they ended up having to work on the cheap for Steven Spielberg are still being investigated.
Last Edit: Sept 12, 2006 19:48:49 GMT -5 by Paulinus
In May, 1975, Paul McCartney was heard to say "Listen to what the man said." This statement was, at the time, interpreted many different ways by many different people.
In August of that same year, Peter Gabriel left Genesis, and suddenly McCartney's oblique statement became much clearer. For it was he who urged the flock to be unafraid and accept "the man"- Phil Collins- in their hearts.
For his service to humanity, McCartney was made a saint and the capital of Minnesota was named in his honor.