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Post by Tal on Oct 23, 2007 13:04:28 GMT -5
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7057929.stmWhat do you think about seeking prostitutes for sex when your disabled/socially outcast? Not something I'd ever want to do, but I guess I can understand and sympathise with the situation.
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Post by Paulinus on Oct 23, 2007 14:19:35 GMT -5
While I also can sympathise with the situation its also something I'd not want to do. I don't think paying someone for sex would help my confidence in any way, in fact I think it could make me feel even worse. I'd have to feel the women would actually want to be with me(other then just for the money) to derive any confidence or even much enjoyment out of it I think.
I don't have any problem with other people seeking it if(and its a big if) the prostitute in the "transaction" is doing it out of her own free will, not through abuse etc..which is another discussion really as to how many actually are.
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Post by annaa on Oct 23, 2007 19:30:15 GMT -5
...in fact I think it could make me feel even worse. I'd have to feel the women would actually want to be with me(other then just for the money) to derive any confidence or even much enjoyment out of it I think... This is a really good point, Paul. I think the feelings people might get afterwards might make them feel worse than before. That happens to your average person, so someone with a disability (in whatever form) may be pretty badly affected too. I hate the way so much importance is put on this sort of thing.
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Post by MrNice on Oct 23, 2007 22:00:15 GMT -5
if it wasn't for health risks I think a lot of men wouldn't come out of a brothel but alas we have to do things the hard way...
I mean if we don't look at it from a lifelong super important perspective I am sure it beats the hand
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Oct 24, 2007 9:58:32 GMT -5
I think it is a bit patronizing to even make it an issue whether or not disabled should be allowed to or not.
As the article stated, the disabled are often seen as non people and therefore non sexual. Very unfair but society isn't very fair.
I would think that there are disabled women seeking relationships just as much as disabled men. There are probably disabled singles clubs.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Oct 24, 2007 18:09:58 GMT -5
I think it is a bit patronizing to even make it an issue whether or not disabled should be allowed to or not. As the article stated, the disabled are often seen as non people and therefore non sexual. Very unfair but society isn't very fair. I would think that there are disabled women seeking relationships just as much as disabled men. There are probably disabled singles clubs. there are. and there are websites for disabled people to hookup, just like every other type of people. i think you're right that some people do see disabled people as non-sexual, but i think maybe it goes further than that. sex is seen by many as an 'extra', not an essential. since it's not 'necessary' for survival, it's usually not a need that is addressed at all.
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Post by Astroruss on Oct 24, 2007 23:14:38 GMT -5
Not completely off the subject . . . Only you could start this topic, Tal. Anyway, on the topic, there's no point in using training wheels forever. Eventually, you have to get out on the big two wheeler and hit the hiking trail!
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Post by madiocre on Jun 9, 2008 3:59:20 GMT -5
well yes there are website and both femal and female would be interested in meeting up equally. if it wasn't for health risks I think a lot of men wouldn't come out of a brothel but alas we have to do things the hard way... women too . only they would be called desperate sluts for doing it. but alas i digress. i think if a disabled person decided to do it that would be their choice while i think it something i would never do it isnt nesesarily wrong unless ofcourse the prostitute is being forced into it . It is kinda sad though that a persons loss virginity is seen as a rite of passage but thats society for ya.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jun 9, 2008 8:38:08 GMT -5
It is kinda sad though that a persons loss virginity is seen as a rite of passage but thats society for ya. i'm curious how you think it should be seen? i've always thought it was wrong to think of it as a loss at all, rather than experience gained..
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Post by madiocre on Jun 10, 2008 1:28:05 GMT -5
hmm it never really occurred to me the full meaning of putting it that way , i was just using the clich'ed term for it. You are right its not a loss at all but indeed an experience gained .
i was just meaning that well yeah its special for it own right but seeing it as a rite of passage kinda cheapens it somewhat , and just because one is a virgin doesn't make them any more or less mature .
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Post by wanderlonger on Sept 25, 2008 11:32:06 GMT -5
I think it could have its benefits. If a person does pay for sex as a last resort at least they will have practice at "it" so that they will be more experienced when they get it for "free". Also they will probably realise that they aren't missing out on that much (presuming its not that fun with a prostitute anyway) and they may gain in confidence through having less desperation in this way.
I think people make too much of "first times", which really are no more special than 17th times in my opinion. Having said that if a person does go down this route they must be sure they are mentally prepared to accept that they have used a prostitute to have sex. If they are cool with this then its maybe not such a bad idea.
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gaia
New Member
Posts: 9
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Post by gaia on Sept 25, 2008 18:36:46 GMT -5
If a person does pay for sex as a last resort at least they will have practice at "it" so that they will be more experienced when they get it for "free".. I don't know. Having "practise" in bed isn't the most important thing (for me personally). Also, I think it would speak volumes about a guy if he said he's only ever had sex with a prostitue.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Sept 26, 2008 8:54:39 GMT -5
If a person does pay for sex as a last resort at least they will have practice at "it" so that they will be more experienced when they get it for "free".. I don't know. Having "practise" in bed isn't the most important thing (for me personally). Also, I think it would speak volumes about a guy if he said he's only ever had sex with a prostitue. what do you think it would say about him...condensed version?
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Post by wanderlonger on Sept 26, 2008 10:59:15 GMT -5
If a person does pay for sex as a last resort at least they will have practice at "it" so that they will be more experienced when they get it for "free".. I don't know. Having "practise" in bed isn't the most important thing (for me personally). Also, I think it would speak volumes about a guy if he said he's only ever had sex with a prostitue. Well we are talking about a last resort here. If a guy is desperate for sex and feels he will never get any or not for a very long time then he may feel that seeing a prostitute is a good idea. The curiosity about what sex could be like is intense as a man (maybe for a woman too, I can only speak for one side though) and that curiosity/desire could be satisfied by seeing a prostitute. I don't think it says anything about a person that they would choose to go down that route. Firstly no one else would know, secondly the man would have satisfied some curiosity, thirdly I think it would take guts to do such a thing and may even increase the individuals confidence.
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Post by nigella on Feb 10, 2009 16:08:36 GMT -5
Its something im considering for the following reasons. Having explained my situation suffering with severe panic attacks with a work colleague who has suffered with similar mental health problems in the past.And explaining that i havent had sex before.He told me about an old freind of his that lost his virginity late but at a massage parlour now the thing with this is it gave the guy the confidence to meet a woman and get married afterwards.He met her by a dating site but it was his believe that having had sex cured his anxiety over the problem.Now it was something i was always against when i was younger but i feel for myself i would lift a barrier off my shoulders.The other problem i will add to this from my experience is finding a girl that dosent mind that your a virgin because i got called weird because of this problem.
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