tth
New Member
Posts: 16
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Post by tth on Jun 19, 2008 14:01:59 GMT -5
So? I want all the shy guys opinion please. If you have a crush on some shy girl, and you work beside eachother, how do you react around her?
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Post by ball4yourout on Jun 19, 2008 19:08:21 GMT -5
Speaking from my own experience, I act either very awkwardly or very "dead." I say very little or I shake, stutter, ignore her, or show I can't make eye contact.
In other words, I act like a douche.
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gaia
New Member
Posts: 9
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Post by gaia on Jun 19, 2008 19:40:31 GMT -5
Speaking from my own experience, I act either very awkwardly or very "dead." I say very little or I shake, stutter, ignore her, or show I can't make eye contact. In other words, I act like a douche. That's not acting like a douche... trust me. |
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Post by ball4yourout on Jun 19, 2008 20:01:51 GMT -5
Its definitely acting like a loser.
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Post by malcom72 on Jun 19, 2008 22:24:38 GMT -5
I know from my experience that I tend to say very little (because I lack the nerve!) and I tend to stare a lot which causes the girl to think that I am just plain creepy or some kind of stalker. The end result is that the girl usually starts to avoid me which of course only makes me feel like an even bigger loser.  |
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Post by Liquid Clarity on Jun 20, 2008 9:41:14 GMT -5
for me it is eye contact and getting that first word out then the rest just seems to come even walking down the street i see a girl that is way out of my league i will duck my head down so i cant see her. it is a pain in the ass but i deal with it. although i seem to have a problem looking anyone dead in the eye i think i may have a eye phobia lol. but any way that is how i am around almost any woman. (god i want a girlfriend) o well hope this helps. |
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Post by on Jun 20, 2008 15:01:09 GMT -5
We act like world class D-bags around girls we like, well, atleast, I do  |
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adion
Junior Member
Posts: 80
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Post by adion on Jun 21, 2008 2:42:19 GMT -5
Well, I'm not a guy but when I get around guys I like I am really-really shy...sometimes I can't even talk to them.
The funny thing is, I am not shy around guys I am not attracted to. Guys I am not attracted to often think I like them because of this and vice versa with guys I am attracted to...they think I don't like them!
Sucks...I'm just assuming that shy guys would act the same around girls they like too.
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Post by malcom72 on Jun 21, 2008 8:50:45 GMT -5
Well, I'm not a guy but when I get around guys I like I am really-really shy...sometimes I can't even talk to them. The funny thing is, I am not shy around guys I am not attracted to. Guys I am not attracted to often think I like them because of this and vice versa with guys I am attracted to...they think I don't like them! Sucks...I'm just assuming that shy guys would act the same around girls they like too. Well I can't speak for all shy guys but I have the exact same problem. |
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Post by rudy on Jun 21, 2008 12:03:20 GMT -5
i just ignore the girl i like cuz there is no f*cking chance she would like me in the first place. damn it sucks to be shy
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etn
Full Member
Posts: 107
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Post by etn on Jun 21, 2008 12:34:02 GMT -5
Usually I can act very cold. By the time I warm up to someone the window of oportunity has shut.
But sometimes not...
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etn
Full Member
Posts: 107
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Post by etn on Jun 21, 2008 12:36:54 GMT -5
i just ignore the girl i like cuz there is no f*cking chance she would like me in the first place. damn it sucks to be shy Not to be critical, but are you sure your not projecting those feelings on to the girl. Your not giving yourself a chance. |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jun 21, 2008 12:51:43 GMT -5
not all shy people ignore people they like or are attracted to. it happens, but not always. if you get nervous around someone, you may ignore them because you freeze up and can't think of anything to say quickly enough. but when someone does this consistently & automatically, it begins to border on avoidant behavior. unfortunately avoiding situations in which you feel nervous or anxious is a self-reinforcing behavior. you feel uncomfortable > you avoid > you feel more relaxed > the avoidant behavior is reinforced > the avoidant behavior increases. the longer you allow this to go on, the more avoidant you become...because you never allow yourself to be in a situation in which non-avoidant behavior is reinforced. a person can go from being simply a bit shy around people to not being able to even imagine not avoiding them. so challenge your negative self-talk, force yourself out of your comfort zone, practice difficult things. once you get some reinforcement from positive social behavior you can turn things around.
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etn
Full Member
Posts: 107
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Post by etn on Jun 21, 2008 13:14:12 GMT -5
not all shy people ignore people they like or are attracted to. it happens, but not always. if you get nervous around someone, you may ignore them because you freeze up and can't think of anything to say quickly enough. but when someone does this consistently & automatically, it begins to border on avoidant behavior. unfortunately avoiding situations in which you feel nervous or anxious is a self-reinforcing behavior. you feel uncomfortable > you avoid > you feel more relaxed > the avoidant behavior is reinforced > the avoidant behavior increases. the longer you allow this to go on, the more avoidant you become...because you never allow yourself to be in a situation in which non-avoidant behavior is reinforced. a person can go from being simply a bit shy around people to not being able to even imagine not avoiding them. so challenge your negative self-talk, force yourself out of your comfort zone, practice difficult things. once you get some reinforcement from positive social behavior you can turn things around. Yes, exactly! |
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adion
Junior Member
Posts: 80
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Post by adion on Jun 21, 2008 16:37:16 GMT -5
not all shy people ignore people they like or are attracted to. it happens, but not always. if you get nervous around someone, you may ignore them because you freeze up and can't think of anything to say quickly enough. but when someone does this consistently & automatically, it begins to border on avoidant behavior. unfortunately avoiding situations in which you feel nervous or anxious is a self-reinforcing behavior. you feel uncomfortable > you avoid > you feel more relaxed > the avoidant behavior is reinforced > the avoidant behavior increases. the longer you allow this to go on, the more avoidant you become...because you never allow yourself to be in a situation in which non-avoidant behavior is reinforced. a person can go from being simply a bit shy around people to not being able to even imagine not avoiding them. so challenge your negative self-talk, force yourself out of your comfort zone, practice difficult things. once you get some reinforcement from positive social behavior you can turn things around. Well said! |
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