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Post by shynesssucks on Feb 21, 2009 12:33:10 GMT -5
ok, haven't slept so this is going to be hard to respond but i have to... well she tells one guy that she broke up with her boyfriend when she hasn't. her boyfriend is at school in a different location. she tells me about what she's hiding from the other guy etc. so yes, they are in a relationship and whatever she is doing she is having to hide "pathological jealousy reminiscent of the muslim men who insist their wives must be covered from head to foot with a loose garment at all times or lose their heads. " ---where in the world did this comment come from? that is reminiscent of SOME men (muslim or not) but pathological jealousy is not reminiscent of the ALL muslim men and jealousy is not condoned by the relgion in anyway.... that's a very closed-minded statement and im shocked.. whoa, back up. i didn't say it represented ALL muslim men. i was talking about those specific muslim men. if they're not ashamed to live the way they do, i don't see why it should be shocking to refer to the way they choose to live. if your friend is pretending to be in a relationship with the guy while pursuing relationships with other guys, then yes - she is being dishonest. the reason i asked about this is that people who believe two individuals are meant to become merged in a relationship often interpret harmless behavior as 'cheating'. i was curious how you would define 'messing around', because i recently met someone who thinks if a woman he's interested in even talks to another man at all (perfectly innocent conversation), then she can't be trusted. these types of expectations are on a wide spectrum of behavior, which at its extreme includes things like beheading for appearing in public uncovered. to my way of thinking, two individuals in a relationship are still two individuals and they should each have certain boundaries. for example, i don't like it when a guy tries to tell me how to think. he can try to persuade me if he wishes (as long as he does it respectfully), but it's my brain, heart and soul and i'll make the final decisions about what i think. i'm perfectly capable of thinking for myself. ya, all sorts of extremism exists in the world today and historically involving people who claim to be followers the muslim faith, christian faith, paganism etc it does not mean that it is reminiscent of those faiths but their actions reflect how they twisted these religions/ideologies to support their cause..yes and this is in response to your comment about the "pathologicial jealousy ..beheadings for going out in public" ..i could be wrong but it seems to me that you maybe trying to suggest something about the muslim religion. We need to judge the people separate from the teachings of the religion.. i don't understand how this day and age a man could think that a woman would not even communicate with another man. unless this man is not from the western society (where women work outside the home etc.) i just don't see how that could work. if he's from a different society it isn't my place to judge how they conduct their daily lives...
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Post by Sweet Pea on Feb 21, 2009 12:40:01 GMT -5
..i could be wrong but it seems to me that you maybe trying to suggest something about the muslim religion. yes, i'm afraid you misunderstood what i was saying. i was referring to the specific situation i described and not the religion as a whole. btw - i agree that extremists can be found in any religion or philosophy. www.pinn.net/~sunshine/book-sum/xtian2.html
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Post by shynesssucks on Mar 3, 2009 19:53:47 GMT -5
one of the new friends from school sent me a msg on facebook telling me she wanted my number and wanted to call me sometime. i can't understand what in the world she'd want to call me for. especially because it's a long distance call. i haven't taken the st. john's wort for a couple of months since im basically isolated and studying and not really worried about being social at this point so i feel tense about this...
in the past i have felt lonely and left out when i heard of people calling their friends and keeping in touch just to be nice because i had never had that. after making friends i appreciate that people actually want to keep in touch and the fact that i feel liked by others but this friend wanting my number to call me is causing me some anxiety...
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Post by nelo on Mar 4, 2009 16:22:26 GMT -5
Just call her. The anxiety about it will wear off after a while.
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Post by shynesssucks on Mar 4, 2009 18:30:34 GMT -5
i get really anxious when solicitors come to the door and i have to turn them away. i hate saying no and turning people away. it's strange because i have no problem saying no to my siblings or my parents but i feel terrible turning away a stranger...makes no sense..
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Post by Sweet Pea on Mar 4, 2009 20:12:39 GMT -5
i get really anxious when solicitors come to the door and i have to turn them away. i hate saying no and turning people away. it's strange because i have no problem saying no to my siblings or my parents but i feel terrible turning away a stranger...makes no sense.. i have a similar reaction sometimes in certain situations. like today when a panhandler followed me from the grocery store to my car and asked me for money. i hate turning people down who might be homeless and desparate. although he did look strong, able-bodied and capable of working.
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Post by shynesssucks on Mar 10, 2009 17:18:42 GMT -5
i am worn out, scared, tired..no actually, exhausted..and terrified..and hungry....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
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Post by Sweet Pea on Mar 10, 2009 17:43:05 GMT -5
i am worn out, scared, tired..no actually, exhausted..and terrified..and hungry....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah bummer. i'd suggest starting out with a snack and a nap...that is if the boogey man isn't in your bedroom right now.
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Post by shynesssucks on Mar 10, 2009 18:10:27 GMT -5
the friend that wanted to call me called me yesterday and left me a message saying that she was just calling to say hi because she hadn't talked to me in awhile. this is all very new to me as i've never had a friend who would think of me and miss me and want to keep in touch.
in the past i was always the one reaching out to people trying to build friendships. Looking back she and I did have great times together. She did get on my nerves once in awhile and I'm sure I got on hers but overall looking back we had fun.
She's not just calling me because she doesn't have other friends. I use to mainly reach out or cling to people out of loneliness. She's actually a very sociable person so she's just missing the friendship and fun we had.
I did chicken out about calling her back. My fear is that I'll be awkward on the phone and that'll somehow ruin our friendship. Instead I emailed her and told her that I'd be seeing her soon and wished her well.
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Post by shynesssucks on Mar 10, 2009 20:16:15 GMT -5
im in a weird mood totally want to tell a girl off for being a hypocrite..ever want to say things that you'd normally only think of but would never say...
i wonder what the world would be like if that were the case just directly say whatever you are thinking. sometimes people hint at things like people would hint that they think i've got some kind of eating disorder obviously i know what they're thinking when they ask stupid questions.
not that i would want to be in a world like that im way too sensitive probably never leave the house if everyone said what they thought outright
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Post by Sweet Pea on Mar 11, 2009 11:03:57 GMT -5
..ever want to say things that you'd normally only think of but would never say... i wonder what the world would be like if that were the case just directly say whatever you are thinking. i often think it would be better if i never spoke (or wrote) at all.
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Post by shynesssucks on Mar 11, 2009 17:42:31 GMT -5
will someone please tell me where to get some ritalin w/o prescription. thanks
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Post by shynesssucks on Mar 18, 2009 2:34:06 GMT -5
looking back i did some stupid things. and wish i could go back in time and knock myself silly for even thinking of doing something like that (or not thinking really).
i feel alot stronger now. i think what makes a person strong is how much control they have over themselves and how much self-restraint they have.
i keep going over in my head different scenarios of what might happen when i see him again. i have to restrain myself from showing any emotions and from poking his eyes out. i have to smile and make it seem like his actions had no effect on me.
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Post by shynesssucks on Mar 22, 2009 3:44:07 GMT -5
“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”
this is a great quote and has been helpful to think about lately.
also thinking randomly about the past and laughing at myself for being stupid and saying stupid things and remembering the reaction on the peoples faces after somthing totally retarded coming out of my mouth. i went kind of berserk after dealing with some terrible stress.. it was chronic stress for like 3 years that culminated into an explosive stressful event and i dealt with it immaturely trying to reach out into the wrong places/substances to help me forget or ignore my issues.
ive lately come to the conclustion that it's time i grew up and started acting like an adult. i use to way too often just blurt out how i felt. like telling people that i miss them or loved them and cried right in front of people when i was hurt but the result of that is just that you appear weak and retarded to the observer.
if your heart and mind are feeling things you wish you didn't i don't think talking about it is a good idea because that will just prolong the amount of time you are feeling those things. i say, ignore those feelings like you'd ignore a very annoying person and eventually those feelings will go away.
how to ignore is simply not act on them. i use to too often act on my emotions. i've drawn an imaginary line for myself that i called the "stupid line". never cross that line. no matter what you feel because often we can't control how we feel but we can control physically acting on those thoughts and we can control what comes out of our mouths.
if in a few months time i think it's still a good idea to make a move then i will it's way better than acting and then regretting having said or done something stupid. most likely in a months time looking back i'll be happy i didn't take action. often in-action can be the best action
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Post by strawberrysweetie on Mar 22, 2009 17:18:01 GMT -5
“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” this is a great quote and has been helpful to think about lately. I do think that is a good quote. if your heart and mind are feeling things you wish you didn't i don't think talking about it is a good idea because that will just prolong the amount of time you are feeling those things. i say, ignore those feelings like you'd ignore a very annoying person and eventually those feelings will go away. how to ignore is simply not act on them. i use to too often act on my emotions. i've drawn an imaginary line for myself that i called the "stupid line". never cross that line. no matter what you feel because often we can't control how we feel but we can control physically acting on those thoughts and we can control what comes out of our mouths. Ignore them, really? I've buried my emotions for far too long. I have a tendency to keep everything to myself and bottle it all up, but I find that doesn't really help. I just get more depressed. I find that acknowledgement of my emotions is very important. That I am human, and I am going to experience a multitude of emotions/feelings that I don't like. I don't really think feelings can go away until you acknowledge them and work through them, though. I would think that totally ignoring them only buries them deeper inside of you. At least that's what I find happens with me. Of course, I think it depends on how you handle them. Or who you try to talk to about it. Every situation is different, too. But if someone thinks you are either weak or stupid for how you feel, than you should probably avoid going to them with your problems. They aren't worth your time. most likely in a months time looking back i'll be happy i didn't take action. often in-action can be the best action That's interesting. Lately, I had come to the conclusion that any action at all was better than sitting around idly. I often feel like an idiot that doesn't do enough. Which is true, at least for sure the not doing enough part. "Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” - Dale Carnegie
"The price of inaction is far greater than the cost of making a mistake.” - Meister Eckhart
"Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.” - Will Rogers
"Thoughtless risks are destructive, of course, but perhaps even more wasteful is thoughtless caution which prompts inaction and promotes failure to seize opportunity." - Gary Ryan Blair
"There are risks and costs to a program of action, but they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction” - John F. KennedySo, maybe you should take pride in the fact that you were brave enough to take risks and put your heart on the line. Otherwise, you would always be wondering, "What if, what if, what if?" As is always the case with me.
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