Post by VictorH on Mar 22, 2010 21:58:31 GMT -5
[Diary of 4 years]
(Don't mind me, I'm just visiting)
Maaan, it has been a long time since I visited this forum. It has been about 4 years already... I wasn't very much of an avid member. But, there was a lot that was going on in my life and a lot that has changed since then.
The history of my life for the past 12 years or so has been an emotional roller coaster. A lot of which has been filled with a lot of life changing experience. I choose to talk only about the past 4 years - since that encompasses the years I've been signed up as a member to these forums. By coincidence it has been the most significant life changing 4 years.
There are just so many things I want to share with you guys. I just don't know where to start.
I use to be very shy (I still am). But, it's getting a lot better. Typical social awkwardness, a dunce (though many of you are probably very smart!), clumsy at sports, VERY severe acne, lack of self-esteem, and not out going (though that was not everything and by no means the most significant problems).
Some of the things that I wanted to mention in my diary that helped me get through life:
a) Commitment to others
b) Goals
c) A new outlook on life
Before reading any further, I do not want to come off as arrogant. If I do, please let me know as that is not my intention. In addition, I would like to let you know that I truly believe that you guys are really awesome. I entirely back up what this forum attempts to do for others. Bettering peoples' social networks, helping people with day to day problems, and providing support whenever they need it.
Lastly, I hope I don't embarrass myself! I'm not sure if I'll continue this to tell you the truth. But, don't be discouraged from commenting! I really appreciate your comments.
[Beginning of Diary Entry] [Entry 1 of ?? (I'm definitely not going to finish this now, I've got so much to do)]
Dear Diary,
How long has it been since I've written anything here? Right now, I'm under a lot of stress. But, it's not the same stress that I once was prone to. It's academic stress. But, looking back I feel like I've really come a long way. There's just been so many things happening in my life and I start to realize that wow... for once in my life I actually feel like I've been doing the right thing. I feel fully capable. But, how did it come about this way?
It just seemed like yesterday that I was sitting in an exam room four years ago in high school. I just finished as much as I could on that final exam and everyone was writing desperately to get good grades. Their life was set, they worked hard, they studied hard, they persevered throughout, they had so many friends, and were so full of confident, they had everything. Even though this exam mattered a lot to me - I gave up. Most people in there were worried about getting into their university programs. I... was worried about graduating.
At this point in time, I pretty much want to ask myself... What the hell was I doing during that time? But, I really cannot blame myself either. I had family issues, social issues, personal issues, and was a lazy bastard. But, it was during that time that I felt like I hit rock bottom. I had a dream of becoming an actor and that had gone down the drain (long story short - I had potential but I just didn't meet the right people at the right time. They were very critical of me, not helpful and a lot of things happened which hurt me a lot). I had very few friends, I barely had an education, and a will to move on.
During that time I felt like I bore all the pain in the world. My heart had a hard sinking feeling. No... almost like someone had chained me up to weights and I slowly sank into a bottomless ocean. I just wanted a way out.
** This signifies me a note to help me remember what the hell I was talking about (Epiphany, and a change in childhood dream - not necessarily in the same order)**
Out of curiosity for those that are reading. What were you doing four years from now? Care to share? I'm interested in knowing what was happening to others at the same time that this was happening.
(Don't mind me, I'm just visiting)
Maaan, it has been a long time since I visited this forum. It has been about 4 years already... I wasn't very much of an avid member. But, there was a lot that was going on in my life and a lot that has changed since then.
The history of my life for the past 12 years or so has been an emotional roller coaster. A lot of which has been filled with a lot of life changing experience. I choose to talk only about the past 4 years - since that encompasses the years I've been signed up as a member to these forums. By coincidence it has been the most significant life changing 4 years.
There are just so many things I want to share with you guys. I just don't know where to start.
I use to be very shy (I still am). But, it's getting a lot better. Typical social awkwardness, a dunce (though many of you are probably very smart!), clumsy at sports, VERY severe acne, lack of self-esteem, and not out going (though that was not everything and by no means the most significant problems).
Some of the things that I wanted to mention in my diary that helped me get through life:
a) Commitment to others
b) Goals
c) A new outlook on life
Before reading any further, I do not want to come off as arrogant. If I do, please let me know as that is not my intention. In addition, I would like to let you know that I truly believe that you guys are really awesome. I entirely back up what this forum attempts to do for others. Bettering peoples' social networks, helping people with day to day problems, and providing support whenever they need it.
Lastly, I hope I don't embarrass myself! I'm not sure if I'll continue this to tell you the truth. But, don't be discouraged from commenting! I really appreciate your comments.
[Beginning of Diary Entry] [Entry 1 of ?? (I'm definitely not going to finish this now, I've got so much to do)]
Dear Diary,
How long has it been since I've written anything here? Right now, I'm under a lot of stress. But, it's not the same stress that I once was prone to. It's academic stress. But, looking back I feel like I've really come a long way. There's just been so many things happening in my life and I start to realize that wow... for once in my life I actually feel like I've been doing the right thing. I feel fully capable. But, how did it come about this way?
It just seemed like yesterday that I was sitting in an exam room four years ago in high school. I just finished as much as I could on that final exam and everyone was writing desperately to get good grades. Their life was set, they worked hard, they studied hard, they persevered throughout, they had so many friends, and were so full of confident, they had everything. Even though this exam mattered a lot to me - I gave up. Most people in there were worried about getting into their university programs. I... was worried about graduating.
At this point in time, I pretty much want to ask myself... What the hell was I doing during that time? But, I really cannot blame myself either. I had family issues, social issues, personal issues, and was a lazy bastard. But, it was during that time that I felt like I hit rock bottom. I had a dream of becoming an actor and that had gone down the drain (long story short - I had potential but I just didn't meet the right people at the right time. They were very critical of me, not helpful and a lot of things happened which hurt me a lot). I had very few friends, I barely had an education, and a will to move on.
During that time I felt like I bore all the pain in the world. My heart had a hard sinking feeling. No... almost like someone had chained me up to weights and I slowly sank into a bottomless ocean. I just wanted a way out.
** This signifies me a note to help me remember what the hell I was talking about (Epiphany, and a change in childhood dream - not necessarily in the same order)**
Out of curiosity for those that are reading. What were you doing four years from now? Care to share? I'm interested in knowing what was happening to others at the same time that this was happening.