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Post by putter65 on Jan 16, 2011 14:17:43 GMT -5
Which is a first by the way !
I'm not a real mobile phone lover and I rarely use mine. This woman has given her number and I'm not sure what the ideal way of keeping in touch with her is.
Long story short, over the late summer and leading upto xmas, I developed strong feelings for this woman at work. It sort of grew from nowhere really. I never truely believed she would be interested in me but in the end I casually asked her out using facebook. I asked her to the cinema. She replied that she had just met somebody so she couldn't go but thanks anyway.
After that our friendship grew rather than the other way round. There was no awkardness, neither of us mentioned it.
Anyway she left on Saturday (moved to another shop) and the last few days I had with her were the most intense, emotional days of my life !
She cried on 4 seperate occasions in the last few days. I cried a bit too and we hugged alot. I've never hugged someone so much in my life ! When it was my time to leave I went into the office and we chatted for a bit. She said it had been wonderfull working with me, how she had enjoyed it etc. She handed me her mobile number and told me to 'keep in touch' - I told her how much she meant to me and she said I was a 'lovely, genuine guy'
So the thing is what shall I do ? I know she doesn't want to be my girlfriend. There was obvious some affection there but not enough. I want to keep in touch though. But how often should I send texts ? She did say keep in touch and she did give her number. I mean she seemed as sad as me that we won't work together anymore. I have thought about sending a little message say every month or so, just asking how she is etc.
Is that a good idea ?
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Post by geekguy on Jan 17, 2011 5:41:11 GMT -5
Sounds like you have become good friends.... so how about just being her friend (and I'm not talking about the "I'll be her friend in the hopes that one day she'll come around and want me to be her boyfriend" kind of way, [if you were still hoping for that or something], but in the "she is a nice person and I like her companionship" way)?
It's not that complicated, you just check in with her from time to time, see how shes going, share tales of revelry and adventure with each other.
Stop over-thinking it lol, it's not something to get stressed over.
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Post by putter65 on Jan 17, 2011 9:40:37 GMT -5
Thanks - I do know she doesn't want me as a boyfriend, she would have said. So she wants to be friends. I'm cool with that. I've not really had many female friends. I'm just not used to mobile phones. And yes I over think everything lol !
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Post by putter65 on Jan 17, 2011 12:39:53 GMT -5
We've been swapping texts all day. She also wants to watch me play golf of all things !
I'm very surprized by this in a good way !
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Post by putter65 on Jan 20, 2011 13:40:43 GMT -5
I waited 3 days and I sent her a little text today. She hasn't replied to it yet. Currently 3 hours. I know it shouldn't bother me but it does.
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Post by putter65 on Mar 2, 2011 14:28:43 GMT -5
Still texting, got used to it now. I saw her last week and I asked her if she minded me sending them and she said she didn't. I say more in texts as well, things you wouldn't say face to face.
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Post by spinky on Mar 4, 2011 18:38:44 GMT -5
The last time i asked a female friend out to the cinema, her boyfriend turned up at my workplace next day, and read me the riot act.
I can never watch "The Scorpion King" with the lights off ever again..lol
Has she seen you hit a crisp iron shot yet?
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additive
New Member
http://incrementalconfidence.com
Posts: 19
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Post by additive on Mar 14, 2011 15:20:15 GMT -5
Just tell her about things that happened to you every other day. Just be careful, don't become one of those text-bommers that keep messaging her every few minutes. Just enough to catch up every second day or so. I'd suggest keeping in contact via facebook though, it will be a little more natural in a way.
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gals
Full Member
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Post by gals on Mar 20, 2011 4:46:22 GMT -5
Which is a first by the way ! I'm not a real mobile phone lover and I rarely use mine. This woman has given her number and I'm not sure what the ideal way of keeping in touch with her is. Long story short, over the late summer and leading upto xmas, I developed strong feelings for this woman at work. It sort of grew from nowhere really. I never truely believed she would be interested in me but in the end I casually asked her out using facebook. I asked her to the cinema. She replied that she had just met somebody so she couldn't go but thanks anyway. After that our friendship grew rather than the other way round. There was no awkardness, neither of us mentioned it. Anyway she left on Saturday (moved to another shop) and the last few days I had with her were the most intense, emotional days of my life ! She cried on 4 seperate occasions in the last few days. I cried a bit too and we hugged alot. I've never hugged someone so much in my life ! When it was my time to leave I went into the office and we chatted for a bit. She said it had been wonderfull working with me, how she had enjoyed it etc. She handed me her mobile number and told me to 'keep in touch' - I told her how much she meant to me and she said I was a 'lovely, genuine guy' So the thing is what shall I do ? I know she doesn't want to be my girlfriend. There was obvious some affection there but not enough. I want to keep in touch though. But how often should I send texts ? She did say keep in touch and she did give her number. I mean she seemed as sad as me that we won't work together anymore. I have thought about sending a little message say every month or so, just asking how she is etc. Is that a good idea ? Hi Putter, It's okay, at least you have something, better than nothing at all. Feel free to txt her away anytime you want and don't pressure or limit yourself and most importantly, don't expect anything in return. Though you may feel that for now she doesn't want you for a bf, who knows what's gonna come of it, (your friendship) as time goes by? Just simply don't lose touch of your communication with each other. |
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Post by putter65 on Mar 21, 2011 12:20:52 GMT -5
Since she left I've been sending a text once a week and she sends one back most times. We met up about 10 days ago on the golf course, had a great time together. The golf was her idea by the way. We exchanged texts saying how well we enjoyed it and 'see u soon'
Anyway since then I've sent her 2 texts without a reply and a facebook message that got the same treatment. I've no idea what's up.
But like you mention I'm not prepared to stop sending her texts. It doesn't do me any harm. If she's not replying on purpose then I should really expect a reason why. Or maybe a message from her saying 'don't send anymore texts to me' - all my texts are super polite and I never mention the other texts she didn't reply to. That was my intention all along to send one text a week until she tells me not to.
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Post by putter65 on Apr 3, 2011 15:30:48 GMT -5
I sent a text the other day and she replied to it. She said she had been very busy. I've seen her on facebook a bit but she hasn't 'liked' anything I've posted and we haven't swapped messages on there. Funny because I'm always sending messages to all my other friends on there.
I think I will continue to send texts but not as much, maybe 1 every 3 weeks or so.
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Post by putter65 on Apr 11, 2011 8:43:43 GMT -5
She chatted with me on facebook a few days ago. Said 'sorry' for forgetting to reply to my last text, said 'thanks' for listening when she was depressed. And she wanted to play golf again with me. Two days later she changes her status on facebook from single to 'in a relationship', she also leaves 'love you' messages to some guy.
I never thought I was anything other than a friend. I suppose it's better than nothing. I will continue with my occasional texts to her.
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