I dont fit in..

[jenkydora]

i am really frustrated, that I feel like crying some days. I am so lonely for a female friend.

I think every woman needs a friend, even if she has family and husband.

I go to the gym and I really enjoy exercise,

I do it because it has lessened the severity of low self esteem, which at the moment is back firing because I see lots of people training with one other and that just compounds the reality.


I dont have a pal of my own.

I do however have older males tell me how great I look and they will talk to me and I can feel their eyes wandering over me, ewh!

I can talk to males better and if I were to make friends they would be males, but I dont want to do that cause I am married. I dont talk to men and women any different, so what's the go with that.


Are women bitchy or do I give off a vibe, I am told I look sophisticated, so is that a problem, is sophistication bad?

Personally I dont feel like I am sophiscticated, but rather dull and socially stunted, yes , I am different.

I dont feel like I could ever intimidate anyone, not possible, they intimidate me, does this thought come out in body language?

What really stings at the moment is that I feel so invisible in there, but I had one or two people talking to me, yes, men.

He came to the treadmill next to me, and really needed to talk football with one of his friends, but he felt to the need to say , I'll only be a short while, I'll come back,
Do I come of needy? He didnt come back, so then it feels like I got shuffeld for a better conversation, football. OUCH

I feel embarassed cause he ditched and didnt say anything.

If any body else can see the insight in this dribble, I would dearly appreciate your wisdom and thankyou so much.

[1229]

I dont feel like I could ever intimidate anyone, not possible, they intimidate me, does this thought come out in body language?

I think sometimes it can. I can't say for sure, but I know that some people who aren't used to being alone at any kind of activity (be it shopping or the gym or wherever) can be intimidated by someone who is alone. You might be there alone because you don't have a friend to go along with (and I've been there many times myself) but for some people that reads as "so much confidence that they can go by themselves" to a place these people would never dream of going to alone.

And, I hate to say it but some women are jealous of any male attention bestowed upon another female. Nevermind that they might not be interested or that you're married. If they're picturing tons of confidence and male attention... forget it THEY'RE TOO INTIMATED by you.

Obviously, we're not all like this. Keep going to the gym because you enjoy it and hopefully, everything else will fall into place.

[peterseter3]

I don't fit in at work at all. They all yapping nonstop and think i'm weird.
But i can't help it, my brain has nothing to say.

[jenkydora]

May 10, 2011 19:15:16 GMT -5 1229 said:

I dont feel like I could ever intimidate anyone, not possible, they intimidate me, does this thought come out in body language?

I think sometimes it can. I can't say for sure, but I know that some people who aren't used to being alone at any kind of activity (be it shopping or the gym or wherever) can be intimidated by someone who is alone. You might be there alone because you don't have a friend to go along with (and I've been there many times myself) but for some people that reads as "so much confidence that they can go by themselves" to a place these people would never dream of going to alone.

And, I hate to say it but some women are jealous of any male attention bestowed upon another female. Nevermind that they might not be interested or that you're married. If they're picturing tons of confidence and male attention... forget it THEY'RE TOO INTIMATED by you.

Obviously, we're not all like this. Keep going to the gym because you enjoy it and hopefully, everything else will fall into place.

I really appreciate your honesty, so refreshing, and it is good to see things from another perspective.
I really should flip the scenario sometimes and not take my thoughts as the truth. Though I wish to never intimidate anyone,because I know how it feels

Scenarios and surroundings and thoughts are so difficult to not take so personally if you know what I am trying to say.
My thoughts create my world even though it may not be as it really is.
Thanks for your insight, much appreciated.

[1229]

Thanks for your insight, much appreciated.

You're welcome. I know exactly what you're saying and it can be so hard to ignore that little bit of doubt in the back of your mind.

[missklew]

I don't fit in. I can sort of act like a cool person at work but people don't ever take an interest or ask me to do anything other than say they love my accent.

I think being lonely is a common thing these days. People don't really socialize like they used to with the internet and social media. I think people are more isolated and lonely.

It seems like people like me and respect me but I would never get invited to anything outside of work ever.

I have been told by my online friend of more than a decade that when he first met me I made a great first impression and was quite charming but the times he would call me on the phone or we met again, he said I seemed very different, aloof, and uninterested and like I didn't like him at all.

Strange, because I didn't notice it. Maybe it is a subconscious thing because some friendships end up being burdensome. I would not be the type of person to keep constant contact. It would just be too intrusive.

[missklew]

I forgot to mention at work. Some people just seem to instantly fit in. like this one girl comes back from a year long maternity leave and she is instantly friends with another girl there going to lunches and shopping together. I dont understand it.

That said, I don't really think I'm missing anything.

[mlt38]

Hello jenkydora,
I can definitely relate to your post. I am a female and I go to the gym myself. I want female friends too but, from my past, most of them treated me badly. Friends are so hard to come by these days.

I talk to males better, too. I don't know why, but it seems like I get along with them better.

Not only it's like this at the gym but at work, too.

Anyway, I don't have any suggestions. I just came across your post and I can definitely relate to it. I just go to the gym to take care of me and I enjoy working out. Maybe one day a friendship will develop.

mlt38