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Post by sakura on Jul 12, 2011 21:34:16 GMT -5
There must be something wrong with me - I can't seem to make any friends! I mean, real friends whom you can share gossips or secrets with over a cuppa, go shopping with, burn the telephone lines etc.....
I admit I'm rather shy & quiet & not outgoing- but not to an extreme sense.....I work in retail & have no problem dealing with customers at work but am a total flop when it comes to my social life! I do try to be more socially active by joining exercise groups - I chit-chat & make small talks with the people there during the sessions...but after that, it's "bye-bye!" & that's it ! Imagine, I'm with one group for more than 5 yrs & I'm not even close to any of the members ! Sometimes I think there is something not right about myself that 'repels' people....perhaps I'm boring? Speak weird? Look funny?
I really envy those who are able to make friends effortlessly, whereas I have to work hard so at it!
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Post by putter65 on Jul 14, 2011 8:09:32 GMT -5
I'm the same as you. I work in retail and chatting with customers / work colleagues is easy. I have no social life however. People don't offer me their mobile numbers and never invite anywhere. If they do it's to go drinking in large groups which I don't do.
I am probably 'boring' to people since I don't drink and get drunk every night. I also speak weird and look funny as well.
At least you are getting out and joining groups. People on forums are always telling me to do that. They don't realize like you, I wouldn't make friends doing this.
I don't know what to suggest. Just try and keep yourself happy doing your own thing.
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Post by casanova2 on Jul 14, 2011 11:44:23 GMT -5
Have you ever thought about going to church?some of the modern churches which can be described as happy clappy have quite alot of young people there.And ive found that church people are usually freindly.I,ve got into it myself but i do find the high churches hard to follow.
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Post by lostmyself on Jul 14, 2011 16:26:14 GMT -5
sakura, I'm sure a lot of people can relate. It's much easier to make small talk than it is to make long term connections with people.
putter65 is right though, you are doing the right thing and making an effort to join a group. Have you thought about asking someone from your exercise group to another social event?
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Post by lyric555 on Jul 20, 2011 2:34:55 GMT -5
I'm quite similar......at work I wasn't shy at all and I enjoyed meeting new people. But in other situations, its just so hard for me to loosen up. That's my best advice to you. You have to get outside your head and learn to loosen up around people. Its a slow process, but it only gets better by putting yourself in social situations. Always try to find common ground with people, that's always the fast track to meeting a friend.
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cito37
New Member
"I may not have much, but I've more determination than any man you're likely to meet." -Big Fish
Posts: 18
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Post by cito37 on Jul 30, 2011 19:50:34 GMT -5
I'm not really good at making friends either...so I know how you feel. The only reason I have close friends is just staying with the same ones from childhood. But since you're already in a group, maybe you should find something in common with one of the other people and like lostmyself suggested, invite to an event that has to do with that common interest. So say you both like poetry and there's a poetry reading this weekend, invite the group member along. Or you can just invite these group members to your house for a movie night or something. Or try talking to them about your problems. Struggle usually brings people closer together. Also, you must remember that no one makes friends effortlessly. Not REAL friends anyway. Even though it may seem that way (and Hollywood/etc. would certainly make it seem that way), people often struggle. And remember too that there is nothing about you that repels people! I read somewhere that it has a lot to do with the way the world is progressing. People just aren't close as much as they used to be. Long distance relationships are easier, for example, so people may not see the need to make new friends if they are expecting an old friend to return from...somewhere. Although, I read in some book that people tend not to go up and talk to people who are hunched over, looking down, avoiding people, etc. You should try presenting yourself as more open, so maybe try widening your legs a bit, don't keep your arms in front of you and stand up straight. Something like that... Haven't tried it myself so no guarantees. ^^; But anyway, it's certainly nothing to feel bad about. There is nothing wrong with you at all and there are plenty of introverted AND extroverted people going through the same thing. So please don't feel bad.
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Post by marle on Jul 30, 2011 20:33:02 GMT -5
I read in some book that people tend not to go up and talk to people who are hunched over, looking down, avoiding people, etc. So being tall is another reason I'm a loner! There tends to be less 'standing up straight', and more looking down when you're tall!
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cito37
New Member
"I may not have much, but I've more determination than any man you're likely to meet." -Big Fish
Posts: 18
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Post by cito37 on Aug 1, 2011 19:32:44 GMT -5
I read in some book that people tend not to go up and talk to people who are hunched over, looking down, avoiding people, etc. So being tall is another reason I'm a loner! There tends to be less 'standing up straight', and more looking down when you're tall! Hehe, I didn't mean like that. XD
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Post by peterseter3 on Aug 2, 2011 13:17:35 GMT -5
i'm only good with old ladies and doctors, they even think i'm not shy. But that's cause i am not good with smalltalk and gossiping. And at work, that's what they always do. just joking and talking nonsense gossip
With doctors you just tell them about your problems and ask questions so it's easy.
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Post by putter65 on Aug 2, 2011 16:21:56 GMT -5
Old ladies seem to like me as well !
No idea why ?
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Post by twinkletoes on Aug 12, 2011 6:14:34 GMT -5
Same with me.Old ladies and kids below 5 like me.As they grow older the kids seem to develop a distance.
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