Loud ppl not understanding & looking down at us

[xrosie88x]

A "friend" said to me today she can't imagine me having children!
why not, probably coz she thinks quiet people couldn't possibly have kids or do anything that loud people do. Her comment really hurt me
Really sick of getting remarks from work and so called friends!

[putter65]

Learn to stick up for yourself. You should have asked your 'friend' - Why not ? What's wrong with me then ?

[xrosie88x]

em ok, i thought this website was meant to be about being friendly to one another and helping people put!!

[Scotty]

Aug 3, 2011 13:45:42 GMT -5 xrosie88x said:

em ok, i thought this website was meant to be about being friendly to one another and helping people put!!

It is. I think Putter is saying that you should ask your friend "why?". Not in a mean way, but just to find out her reasoning. It could be possible she never meant anything mean by it... maybe it was just a joke. Like for example, I couldn't imagine my brother having kids, not because he'd make a bad parent, just because that seemed weird to me since I've known him all my life, but now he has two of them.

Overall, it's best not to take those kind of remarks too seriously. I know that is easier said than done because they can hurt, but it's all you can really do. Also you might want to talk to your friends about how their comments hurt...hopefully they will be understanding.

Also, welcome to SU.

[Rose]

Aug 3, 2011 13:45:42 GMT -5 xrosie88x said:

em ok, i thought this website was meant to be about being friendly to one another and helping people put!!

I thought it sounded like good advice. Just came off sounding a little blunt.

Aug 2, 2011 15:06:12 GMT -5 xrosie88x said:

A "friend" said to me today she can't imagine me having children!
why not, probably coz she thinks quiet people couldn't possibly have kids or do anything that loud people do. Her comment really hurt me
Really sick of getting remarks from work and so called friends!

I think a lot of us associate bad social skills with being too quiet, but examples like these show that in some situations, loud people can have worse social skills than quiet people. They just say things without thinking how they could make the other person feel. That to me is not any more an attractive trait to pass on to children than being quiet. I don't see anything wrong with quiet kids, actually.

Heck, when was the last time you heard people in a public place complain that the kids sitting close to them were being too quiet? ;D

Try not to let your friend's words get under your skin. *hugs*
She probably didn't realize it would hurt you so much.

[1229]

A "friend" said to me today she can't imagine me having children!

I've heard this a lot. But for me, I've always thought it had more to do with my lifestyle rather than my way of socializing. And especially my "I don't change diapers" attitude. I'm not a "kid person" (unless I'm shopping for baby clothes) oddly enough though I've spent a lot of time babysitting and being the one person some toddler fixates on. And then I'm stuck there thinking "well, now what do I do?" So, I usually challenge them to some sort of contest... a race or even better the "quiet game." This is the one place where I probably couldn't reign supreme at the Quiet Game. So, in this odd way I actually end up playing with them even though my first instinct was to try to get away from them.

Seriously though, I'm the first one to treat myself to a shopping spree or long afternoon nap. ;D Kids are a lot of work and sacrifice, so it's a responsibility I'd never take lightly and I think people get that about me. I would never consider having kids without a strong foundation for them and for me. Those things are not easy to acquire.