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Post by Karen on Dec 29, 2011 17:16:48 GMT -5
I suppose at a deeper level its more to do with a desire to feel normal. I have to say I completely understand this feeling. I felt pretty uncomfortable about being 21/22 and still a virgin. Looking back I realize, it wasn't a big deal at all, but at the time, I felt like people would think there was something wrong with me if they knew.
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Post by Sexy Spork #37 on Dec 29, 2011 19:35:48 GMT -5
You don't know what to think half the time. I think nowadays people have forgotten how to form their own opinions.
Guys I knew always laughed when they found out and thought I was a total loser and it always made me feel like crap.
All the girls always said 'aww', except one who I really detested. I think girls always thought it was a choice rather than simply never had a girlfriend or the opportunity. Looking at me, I don't know why that surprised them so much.
It isn't a big deal. Comforting to hear.
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Post by strawberrysweetie on Dec 29, 2011 20:07:52 GMT -5
I would say it was entirely down to peer pressure, certainly in the UK where most people lose it at 15 or 16. From my experience, that's such a common age to lose your virginity that being a virgin any time after is just depressing. For me, it's not about being macho. I suppose at a deeper level its more to do with a desire to feel normal. I know it's not the same, but take mobile phones for example. I don't have one when it's safe to say the majority of people do these days in this country. I'm generally regarded as not normal for that, when I am, but there's something that I can't get rid of in the back of my head telling me I'm not normal. For me, that psychology is transferable to a guy's virginity. Just anyone, take it - I don't even want money. You could give me a button for all I care. This is the way my society conditioned me. I thought you said it didn't bother you? Personally, I think losing it before 18 is not a good idea. And rather stupid. That's so young. I just don't think it's necessary at that age, no matter how strong teenagers' hormones are. I'm honestly very glad that I made it past high school a virgin. But post college just feels ridiculous...for me, at this point in time. And that's not even really coming from a standpoint of caring what others might think of me, not necessarily anyway. I think there just inevitably comes a point in time where you realize you're ready for certain things. And/or you realize certain fantasies just don't exist. Or are highly unlikely. At this age, I'm just sick of anticipating the 'first time.' I used to not care. For multiple reasons. One being the risks and certain responsibilities that are associated with sexual activity. Which is still actually one reason, why I feel okay with the fact that I still am a virgin. I'm glad I haven't had to deal with any consequences from it. But I've just reached a point....well, I don't even know how to explain it, I guess. And I don't know if anyone else would even really be able to relate. I've just decided it's all not that big of a deal anymore. As long as certain precautions are taken. I feel bad for anyone who feels "pressure" from the outside to lose virginity. Don't let this shitty, ridiculously promiscuous society get to you. Anyone who picks on you for being a virgin certainly isn't worth your time. To hell with them. Worry about your own well-being and what it is that you want. I'm possibly sounding as though I'm contradicting myself here, but I swear I'm not.... For any readers of this, I just want to make it clear that I'm not promoting the idea that it's "great" for anyone to lose it just to lose it. There are actually many benefits to being a virgin or sexually reserved. Losing it should only occur when one feels ready. Both physically and emotionally. And responsible. I think that's different for everyone. But I most certainly think it occurs sometime after age 18. But in the end it should be one's own decision. And you most certainly should not feel at all "pressured" by anyone else. "Pressure" is key for most likely ending up feeling very regretful. Though in saying this, I realize that for a lot of us post-20 our virginity is most likely not due to choice...but due to circumstances, a result of shyness, being socially different. That's where the true frustration is, I think......and then the fact that society rubs it in your face everyday doesn't really help.
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Post by Sexy Spork #37 on Dec 30, 2011 6:08:11 GMT -5
In that piece you quoted I was simple saying that the society that I grew up in taught me to get rid of it ASAP. I should've put quotation marks around that last sentence to indicate that I meant it as a commonplace thought, not a personal belief.
You're definitely right about losing it too young. I've known lots of people in the past who've lost it at 12 or 13 and I would go so far as to say that's becoming quite common.
Its ridiculous. People are growing up too quickly.
Yeah, I think I agree with you about circumstances. Lose it when you want to, not when you feel you have to.
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Post by strawberrysweetie on Dec 30, 2011 14:47:38 GMT -5
In that piece you quoted I was simple saying that the society that I grew up in taught me to get rid of it ASAP. I should've put quotation marks around that last sentence to indicate that I meant it as a commonplace thought, not a personal belief. ah, okay. And I didn't even see your last post from yesterday until after I had posted mine. At that point, I just didn't feel like modifying my post, lol.
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Post by Sexy Spork #37 on Dec 30, 2011 17:50:32 GMT -5
^ Yup. Doing nothing sure beats doing stuff.
That's my life motto.
It's not so good.
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