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Post by casanova2 on Jan 30, 2012 13:31:13 GMT -5
Hi guys can you advise on whether i should send the girl i love flowers.As she won't communicate with me after we split up last week.The last conversation i had with her last tuesday ended with a rowe and she put phone down.It was only on the sunday before she told me she loved me.She won't answer my text or phone calls.
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Post by Sigh on Jan 30, 2012 14:01:10 GMT -5
Depends on the row and why you broke up I imagine... if it was over something she considers to be something you can't come back from, I doubt all the flowers in the world will change her mind.
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Post by Karen on Jan 30, 2012 14:23:22 GMT -5
I pretty much agree with Sigh. It depends on the circumstances. If you didn't officially break up, but only had a fight in which she hung up on you, and has refused to speak to you since, then flowers might convince her to at least hear you out. Though that might be considered somewhat emotionally manipulative.
On the other hand, if she told you she was no longer interested in being in a relationship with you, and categorically refuses to speak to you, then as Sigh put it, there may not be enough flowers in the world to help you out.
Good luck. I hope you manage to work things out to both your advantages.
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Post by casanova2 on Jan 30, 2012 17:14:19 GMT -5
It was a break up.I have read on various sites that playing it cool is the best policy.
I don't really wanna make a mistake here guys.
I think they say that i have to get her to miss me.
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Post by Scotty on Jan 30, 2012 19:57:04 GMT -5
I think they say that i have to get her to miss me. You can't make someone miss you, they either do or they don't. Trying to force them to miss you will just make it worse. If you've already apoligised and said you want her back and she still isn't talking to you, there isn't much else you can do. All you can do is wait and see if she contacts you. If she doesn't, it's time to move on. |
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Post by urbanspaceman on Jan 31, 2012 6:50:37 GMT -5
Agreed with Scotty. As much as you want to, don't force the issue as it will only make matters worse. I know it's a hard thing to do when you obviously care about someone. But like people have said, if it was a definite break up, you've apologised and she won't talk, there isn't much else you can do. And you'll only be torturing yourself more by trying to do so.
And please, please.....do yourself a huge favour and don't go looking at sites supposedly offering fool-proof advice on ways around this. Hopefully I'm not coming across too harsh, but you'll be preventing yourself from getting past this and damaging things further.
I wish you luck dude, and keep busy!
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Post by casanova2 on Jan 31, 2012 17:41:59 GMT -5
I sent flowers she thanked me but won't give it another go.
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Post by casanova2 on Feb 1, 2012 8:41:23 GMT -5
I still not completly sure why would did break up i finding it quite hard to deal with.
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Post by casanova2 on Feb 2, 2012 7:44:47 GMT -5
Is there a way i could still win her back?two days before we broke up she told me she loved me.
Don't understand how those feelings can just disapear?i know she said at xmas she may have to break up with me for my own good if i keep have anxiety problems,and it would'nt be because she didn't love me.I want her back.
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Post by Scotty on Feb 2, 2012 12:00:57 GMT -5
If you're not clear why you broke up you could see if she would be willing to talk about it. If she does agree, make sure you don't push her to get back with you, and don't start a fight. Discuss if there is anyway way that the relationship could be fixed.
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Post by casanova2 on Feb 2, 2012 13:40:24 GMT -5
I might try that but we had a bit of a row last night so perhaps i should leave it abit first.
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Post by strawberrysweetie on Feb 2, 2012 22:52:40 GMT -5
Is there a way i could still win her back?two days before we broke up she told me she loved me. Don't understand how those feelings can just disapear?i know she said at xmas she may have to break up with me for my own good if i keep have anxiety problems,and it would'nt be because she didn't love me.I want her back. Seems to me that you already know the answer. And if you guys have bad fights, isn't that indication of what's gone wrong in the relationship? If your anxiety problems are an issue....are you working on them? Maybe if you're not working on them, she can't take the heartache of continuing to be with you while you have such issues. Not trying to be mean here. But I mean...I can see a person still loving a person, but having to let them go based on their issues as that person isn't working on them. It would be incredibly hard to stand by watching someone you love suffer, yet realizing that they are not taking any steps toward improvement. I don't know what you guys fight about. I don't know anything about your relationship with her really, but it sounds to me she's done with it. She must be emotionally ready to move on. Perhaps you need to work on yourself a bit more. And hopefully you'll be able to find someone someday that you won't fight with so much. * And if it's really over and you're trying to get over her, end all contact. It's the only way to truly and fully move on. Don't allow opportunities for you to miss her. |
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Post by casanova2 on Feb 3, 2012 9:07:55 GMT -5
I did sometimes moan at her for not texting me back and it was paranoia on my part and it led to rows.But i feel that she didn't understand my problems enough really.Part of my problems was loneliness and the relationship made me happy for a while.But she would often snap at me particularly after she came off drugs.
The last couple of days together well the last we didn't speak much i was struggling to think of conversation and was making me anxious.I think she might of felt i wasn't bothered about her anymore.I know after she received my flowers the other day the message was that she thought i had given up on the relationship i had said don't give up on us.Just to add she thinks i didn't show her enough affection either.But i do really love her.
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Post by strawberrysweetie on Feb 4, 2012 0:15:38 GMT -5
I did sometimes moan at her for not texting me back and it was paranoia on my part and it led to rows.But i feel that she didn't understand my problems enough really.Part of my problems was loneliness and the relationship made me happy for a while.But she would often snap at me particularly after she came off drugs. The last couple of days together well the last we didn't speak much i was struggling to think of conversation and was making me anxious.I think she might of felt i wasn't bothered about her anymore.I know after she received my flowers the other day the message was that she thought i had given up on the relationship i had said don't give up on us.Just to add she thinks i didn't show her enough affection either.But i do really love her. Did you read this back to yourself after you wrote it? Is she really on drugs? Are you on drugs?--(don't answer that...) That right there honestly makes me not want to help you get her back. It's no good to be involved with someone like that. Drugs/addiction are a huge issue, in many different ways. It's just bad news all around. Anyway, if she doesn't understand you, you both hardly ever have anything to talk about and lack connection, you fight a lot, she has drug issues, and she desires more affection than you're willing to give her (ever heard of the 5 love languages?)...then it seems to me that you two are just too different. The relationship has run its course. You must be moving on anyway, if you're looking at dating sites. Good luck. |
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Post by casanova2 on Feb 4, 2012 7:27:49 GMT -5
She was on drugs but she fell out with her mate and her mates sister who was her provider.
And thats another story as she hit me that night as well.
Basically she hasn't been on drugs since November.
I know i do love her we seemed to get on better when i was drinking and she was on drugs.
She has issues about her weight and trust issues with relationships at times she has accused me of having sex with my previous partner.She stopped me from drinking as she thought it made my depression worse.
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