Wish I Was Someone Else

[residentweevil]

Is it just me, or is it easier for people to connect with you when you act, well, kind of docile, or just plain dumb? I'm not saying I'm the smartest guy around but I do like to learn constantly and I'd love to share my thoughts if anybody were to listen in real life, but usually all I get is silence or a disinterested courtesy smile with a "Yeahhhh... anyway..."

I just don't get it. Don't people care about anything beyond the latest celebrity gossip or what happened last night on some scripted (un)reality show or on yet another re-hash of the age old cop drama genre? Mention a celebrity and suddenly people are hanging on your every word. Mention something like the Hadron Collider which might be EVERYWHERE in the news and they just stare at the ceiling. You try to explain what little you do know and they don't want to hear it. I mean, are people turned off by things that make them think too much? If it's not entertaining, is it better to just turn away?

I just can't seem to be able to connect with anyone. Sometimes, I wish I was like everyone else. I wish I just went to work, came home, watched some tv and went to bed, and did the same thing every day, just working my ass off to pay the bills and feed the kids. I'd never care about the news or what's going on, never discuss politics or religion out of fear of what others might think, never share my opinion at all out of fear of being cast as "the weirdo" and never vote because I'd be as jaded as everyone else. I'd drink beer with the guys, go out on weekends to "pick up girls" at the bar in order "to score", I'd cheer for my favourite sports teams, and spend every weekend partying and every weekday working for that promotion while dreaming about that new BMW.

Instead, I'm burdened with thoughts of existentialism, purpose, the meaning of life, the meaning and purpose of MY life, and all those thoughts others don't seem to think about ... at all ... EVER. At least it seems that way.
Nobody wants to talk about it. Nobody wants to think about it. Everybody just wants to keep themselves busy with work/school, friends, drinking, and whatever else they can do to distract themselves. I.e. "having a life", they call it.
Everybody just wants to surround themselves with people so that they may hear the voices of others and not have to deal with the voice inside their own heads telling them things that they don't want to hear or asking them questions that they don't want to answer; maybe about breaking up with that insensitive jerk or the controlling witch, or quitting that dead-end job, or finding a purpose in life, or helping an orphaned animal find a home, or doing SOMETHING, anything, that might make the tiniest bit of REAL difference in someone ELSE'S life for the better.

But I just feel alone in the world ... I could be surrounded by people and I'd still feel alone ... Sometimes I wish I was someone else. Sometimes I wish I was "normal".

Anyway, that's my little rant. Thanks for reading.
And I know that even if hundreds read this, only a handful will have some input on it.
I'll just say that it's okay to share your ideas here. Of all places, this message board is where you can be yourself and speak (type) freely.
Cheers.

[geekguy]

Do you tend to talk about these things with people when you're first meeting them, or when you've already known them for some time? I know that if someone came up to me and started talking about the meaning of life I PERSONALLY wouldn't have a problem with having a chat about it (and promptly convincing them that the meaning of life is finding a place for your stuff ala George Carlin), but for a lot of people, this is just weird. Sure it seems a lot more intelligent to be talking about these things and it makes everyone involved better human beings and yada yada, but most of the time these are discussions to be had with people you already have a close connection with.

Instead people like to share common interests. Obviously you will still get lots of people who have nothing better to do with their days than to watch all the aforementioned drivel that plagues TV these days, but that's just how it is. You simply need to find other people who share your interests, and from there you can form some connections, be they emotional, intimate, friendship, all of the above.

I tend to connect with people through music and video games as my big two things. My musical tastes are definitely not-mainstream, and even if me and the person I'm talking to don't share the same music tastes directly, usually we can just talk about how our music tastes are so different to the norm, and appreciate each others niche areas of listening. When I meet other gamers, it's easy to connect because usually they're quite similar in other areas too. Some of my friends that I've now had for years and years will often have conversations about what we want to do with our lives, what our philosophies are on things, how we feel about politics, religion, the universe, god, etc, but we will also talk about funny videos on youtube, video games, hot girls we see as we walk around, etc.

I'm not sure where I was trying to go with this, but hopefully I've uh.. been helpful somehow :3

[residentweevil]

Aug 5, 2012 4:57:50 GMT -5 geekguy said:

Do you tend to talk about these things with people when ...

"People like people like themselves," is what one of my professors said once. lol. It's the same advice I've given to others on this message board & in life, so I know what you mean. I know I can truly only connect, on a deeper level, with people who think like me at least to some degree, even if we disagree on some things, but I figured I'd just rant on how difficult it's been finding these people.

Of course, I don't lay it on them at first meeting, though. lol. That would be disastrous. But my rant is that when I do get to know them better after a certain amount of time, I keep finding over and over that people AREN'T often like me. It's a bit frustrating. Makes we wish I was more like them sometimes. Becasue, in all my life, I've met just one person who understood me and even she surgically removed my heart and left, so to speak. lol

It's just been tough to connect with anyone. For example, I recently used to work at a place with all girls and some could be considered super hot. Every guy stared at them. But once I got to know them, I was like, "Wow. I have absolutely nothing in common with you all." It just gets kinda tiring talking about the few commonalities day in and day out. I remember it'd just be so refreshing when a geeky/nerdy girl would come around. I didn't care so much what she looked like. I'd just be like, "Wow. I really like her."

lol. So I know they're out there somewhere. I just don't know where. I've decided that I'm just going to do my thing and que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be.

[Grayback]

A very interesting topic and one I wasn't sure I was going to participate in but sometimes it's necessary to fight my lurking instinct ;D. So, is it easier to connect with people that have similar interests to yours ? Obviously the answer is yes, it doesn't take a genius to figure that part out.

However, does this mean that people that do not necessarily share your interests should be ignored ? It's not my opinion. The problem with us human beings is that more often than not, we are very self-centered and as such we want our friends to be like-minded because it makes it easier for us to deal with life in general.

Personally, I like having discussions with people that can sometimes have very different views on life than me, I think it's quite rewarding and it can often bring a much needed change of perspective.

As for thinking about life and its purpose, I think you are far from the only one in this, it's just that most people bury these thoughts under a number of banalities which you have mentioned ( tv shows, celebrities,... ) because it's not something that is particularly fun to think about. Granted, this might very well be the result of my broken psyche but in general listening to that voice inside my head ( to borrow your expression ) only brings me pain and depression.

I think what I'm trying to say with all of this is don't think too much, try and enjoy life as it comes, it's hard enough when you get all kind of shit thrown your way but if you also think and reflect about it too much , you just risk losing yourself, at least that is how I see things.

[1229]

Nobody wants to talk about it. Nobody wants to think about it.

I don't think it's that nobody wants to talk or think about it. I think it's just that nobody has the answers. Sure you can have a deep conversation about life and your purpose, but at best it will maybe spark a thought you didn't have before. But it's most likely not going to answer your questions. Because really only you can figure out what gives you purpose. It's different for everyone.

To me it sounds like you want answers over conversation. Maybe I'm wrong.

I don't surround myself with people I don't like (beyond the annoying co-worker here and there ). But otherwise to me it's not about going shopping over thinking about the serious stuff. I can do both. If I'm having a lighthearted conversation with someone it's because I want to. Not because I'm doing that to block out all the heavy questions in my head. Sometimes the lighthearted can help you to ease up on the heavy stuff. And sometimes during the heavy conversations you need to fall back on the light stuff or at least have that history with someone before you enter the serious conversation.

[strawberrysweetie]

Aug 4, 2012 1:04:09 GMT -5 residentweevil said:

Instead, I'm burdened with thoughts of existentialism, purpose, the meaning of life, the meaning and purpose of MY life, and all those thoughts others don't seem to think about ... at all ... EVER. At least it seems that way.
Nobody wants to talk about it. Nobody wants to think about it. Everybody just wants to keep themselves busy with work/school, friends, drinking, and whatever else they can do to distract themselves. I.e. "having a life", they call it.
Everybody just wants to surround themselves with people so that they may hear the voices of others and not have to deal with the voice inside their own heads telling them things that they don't want to hear or asking them questions that they don't want to answer; maybe about breaking up with that insensitive jerk or the controlling witch, or quitting that dead-end job, or finding a purpose in life, or helping an orphaned animal find a home, or doing SOMETHING, anything, that might make the tiniest bit of REAL difference in someone ELSE'S life for the better.

I used to feel the same exact way. I've often felt burdened by the same thoughts. Actually, I still feel burdened by the same thoughts....it's just that now I think my goal is (since I don't have the answers; there are no answers)...to just find peace with 'what is.' A goal I can't ever imagine myself achieving at this point.

I know where you're coming from, though. I'm kind of envious of all the carefree people. And I feel like I've become more drawn to laid back people (in one sense) who can find humor in things rather than overly, never-ending serious people. You've got to laugh a little! If only a little!

In other words, I've begun to see the other side. There are no answers to all the world's problems. I personally feel completely insignificant and powerless. Do I feel like everyone else is insignificant and powerless, though? Of course not. I'm just realizing that I myself really don't make that big of a difference. I don't know how to.

So, I'm starting to see all the need for entertainment...why it's important to have things you like to do. Things to take your mind off of other things. It seems to work for everyone else, anyway...lucky bastards, imo.

Aug 8, 2012 19:51:03 GMT -5 1229 said:

Nobody wants to talk about it. Nobody wants to think about it.

I don't think it's that nobody wants to talk or think about it. I think it's just that nobody has the answers. Sure you can have a deep conversation about life and your purpose, but at best it will maybe spark a thought you didn't have before. But it's most likely not going to answer your questions. Because really only you can figure out what gives you purpose. It's different for everyone.

Agreed.

Aug 4, 2012 1:04:09 GMT -5 residentweevil said:

But I just feel alone in the world ... I could be surrounded by people and I'd still feel alone ... Sometimes I wish I was someone else. Sometimes I wish I was "normal".

Same. Oh boy, do I know this feeling all too well. I still wish I was someone else. I've always wished that. And I've a feeling I'm always going to feel that way. I am sorry you are experiencing this feeling.