Being noticed

[StarFall]

I tend to notice and remember people and I also tend to be the person most people don't notice or remember. After many years I've gotten used to it and I can understand why I don't stand out.

So I was really caught off guard the other day when a guy in my college class turned around and said "Hi, didn't I go to high school with you? You were like a year or two behind me."

It's not like I just graduated, it's been over ten years since either of us were in high school. Of course I remembered him because he was always very talkative, had a notorious reputation, and there was lots of gossip going around about him and a girl in my grade - that's memorable stuff.

But he and I? We never talked and only had one class together. I even remember he sat on the opposite side of the room and spent most of his time joking with the teacher. I spent my time not speaking up in class and generally trying to fly under the radar.

So, how did I answer him? For once my mouth was quicker than my brain. My side of the conversation went something like, "Yes, I was a year behind you, blah blah blah geometry class, blah blah blah, the teacher who taught it, blah blah blah....." All this time my brain is saying, "shut up, be quiet" and finally my mouth listened.

But now I'm paranoid about how he could possibly remember me, and if he'll try to talk to me again (he was reading a poster in the hallway after class and I snuck as quietly as possible behind him until I could get around the corner where he wouldn't see me). Also he probably thinks it was pretty weird I remembered him so well, and I wonder if he thinks I'm a crazy person now.

[Astroruss]

Maybe this guy liked me back then, and still does. Maybe that's why he's noticed you now.

And you kind of get a thrill of recognition when you see someone from a past association, especially school or a former job.

[Slinky]

I think a lot of us have a tendency to think we don't figure in the thoughts of other peoples' daily lives. Whether it's because we want to fly under the radar like you said, or just feel we aren't memorable people or worthy of people's attention. One thing I've learned over the last few years is how we really don't know what is going on in other peoples' heads, the random thoughts and feelings that pop in and out all the time. Just the same as us. Maybe that flicker of recognition seeing a face, no matter how familiar, prompted this guy to speak to you. Maybe you caught his attention then, for whatever reason, without you knowing it or meaning to.

I really wouldn't question how you responded. I'm well aware how hard this is to not do! Looking back on conversations or responses and picking them apart, like there's a perfect way to say things to everyone you'll ever meet. In fact, I think you should be proud that you said that much. I've had many a horrible moment in the past where my acute anxiety and shyness has led me to be very rude to people who were only trying to be friendly and polite.

If you really don't want to talk to the guy again, I'd just take the same approach as before and just respond naturally without overthinking things. The avoidance is a bad habit to keep going, as it can spread and only lead to more overthinking and questioning your own actions.

[StarFall]

Megaruss - I'm 99.999999% sure he didn't like me then and doesn't like me now.

SlinkyNinja - The avoidance part is complicated for me when there are males involved. I don't want him thinking I have a crush on him, because I don't, but I know that I will blush like crazy if we talk again, which he might misinterpret (it's happened before with other guys). Awkward. Therefore, avoidance is my only way of indicating I don't have a crush on him. It's a complicated automatic reaction I've developed based on years of rejection by guys. But if he does talk to me I'll just try to be as friendly and non-awkward as possible.