Post by Knox on Nov 24, 2013 19:34:08 GMT -5
So, as many of you already know, I recently started a new job this week. It's a graphic design position at the local newspaper and so far it is going great. I mean like, really great. The journey from a graphic design major to an information technology major to a graphic design job has been a complicated one to say the least. I'll start with a story about my background that I told my new boss at my interview. It went something like this...
While I was joking about it, I now realize the real reason I turned my back on graphic design is not funny at all. To be completely honest, I changed my major because I was afraid I wasn't good enough. When I looked at all the amazing artists around me, I compared myself to them, and I never felt like I matched up to them. It's important to note that the graphic design program at this school was an exclusive one. How exclusive you ask? Well, anybody can take the first two semesters of classes. However, if you wish to go further into the program you have to be approved via portfolio review. Now they only let 20 students into their program each semester. The semester I was up for review, there were probably somewhere between 40 and 50 other students also up for review. After I considered all of these factors and did some quick math, I doubted myself big time.
So then it came time to sign up for classes for the upcoming semester. Leading up to that point, the anxiety was about as much as I could handle. The night before meeting with my adviser I don't think I slept much at all. I kept going back & forth in my head trying to decide whether I was going to fight through or just quit. As dawn broke, I sat up in my bed. After a night of struggling with some of the worst anxiety I've ever had, I suddenly felt nauseous. I ran to the restroom and vomited into the toilet. I made my decision right then and there. I was going to quit.
At first, I felt good about my decision. All the anxiety I had been suffering was suddenly lifted. It felt great. However, this was short-lived. At the meeting, I told my adviser my decision. I made up some bullshit reason about the "commercialism of art" or something. I don't remember. That doesn't really matter though. What does matter is that deep down, I knew the truth. I knew I was just afraid. I was afraid of being told I wasn't good enough. I was just too stubborn and immature to admit it at the time. That was two years ago. I went through this lie of information technology for two DAMN years! I got a DAMN degree and a DAMN certificate of proficiency because of a lie I told myself for two whole years! I guess I must have been out of my DAMN mind!
Well.... now that this is all behind me, I think I'm finally ready to move on with my life. The important thing is, I'm finally a generally happy person. At least I think I am. It's been so long I'm not sure I remember what it feels like. The ironic thing is, this job doesn't actually require any artistic talent at all. Seeing as they have to produce multiple publications each week, none of the artwork is actually done in house. The client ether provides the artwork themselves, or they tell us what they want and we get it from a stock website. Who knows? Perhaps I'll go back someday and get a degree in graphic design so I can get a job where I actually create the graphics, and not just gather and arrange them. Granted, arranging things on a page is part of design, it just isn't my favorite aspect of design. I would much prefer create the graphics and let somebody else decide where it goes. However, I am happy doing what I'm doing right now, and that's all that matters. What truly scares me, is I originally wasn't going to apply for this job for the same bullshit reasons I changed my major in the first place. The only reason I did, is because I was so absolutely desperate find work in this terrible job market. My new found happiness is actually due to the terrible job market. How messed up is that?
"I was originally going to school for graphic design.
For whatever reason, I had second thoughts.
Perhaps it was cold feet. I don't know.
So, I changed my major to information technology...
got a degree in information technology...
Now I find myself applying to graphic design jobs.... Go figure."
For whatever reason, I had second thoughts.
Perhaps it was cold feet. I don't know.
So, I changed my major to information technology...
got a degree in information technology...
Now I find myself applying to graphic design jobs.... Go figure."
While I was joking about it, I now realize the real reason I turned my back on graphic design is not funny at all. To be completely honest, I changed my major because I was afraid I wasn't good enough. When I looked at all the amazing artists around me, I compared myself to them, and I never felt like I matched up to them. It's important to note that the graphic design program at this school was an exclusive one. How exclusive you ask? Well, anybody can take the first two semesters of classes. However, if you wish to go further into the program you have to be approved via portfolio review. Now they only let 20 students into their program each semester. The semester I was up for review, there were probably somewhere between 40 and 50 other students also up for review. After I considered all of these factors and did some quick math, I doubted myself big time.
So then it came time to sign up for classes for the upcoming semester. Leading up to that point, the anxiety was about as much as I could handle. The night before meeting with my adviser I don't think I slept much at all. I kept going back & forth in my head trying to decide whether I was going to fight through or just quit. As dawn broke, I sat up in my bed. After a night of struggling with some of the worst anxiety I've ever had, I suddenly felt nauseous. I ran to the restroom and vomited into the toilet. I made my decision right then and there. I was going to quit.
At first, I felt good about my decision. All the anxiety I had been suffering was suddenly lifted. It felt great. However, this was short-lived. At the meeting, I told my adviser my decision. I made up some bullshit reason about the "commercialism of art" or something. I don't remember. That doesn't really matter though. What does matter is that deep down, I knew the truth. I knew I was just afraid. I was afraid of being told I wasn't good enough. I was just too stubborn and immature to admit it at the time. That was two years ago. I went through this lie of information technology for two DAMN years! I got a DAMN degree and a DAMN certificate of proficiency because of a lie I told myself for two whole years! I guess I must have been out of my DAMN mind!
Well.... now that this is all behind me, I think I'm finally ready to move on with my life. The important thing is, I'm finally a generally happy person. At least I think I am. It's been so long I'm not sure I remember what it feels like. The ironic thing is, this job doesn't actually require any artistic talent at all. Seeing as they have to produce multiple publications each week, none of the artwork is actually done in house. The client ether provides the artwork themselves, or they tell us what they want and we get it from a stock website. Who knows? Perhaps I'll go back someday and get a degree in graphic design so I can get a job where I actually create the graphics, and not just gather and arrange them. Granted, arranging things on a page is part of design, it just isn't my favorite aspect of design. I would much prefer create the graphics and let somebody else decide where it goes. However, I am happy doing what I'm doing right now, and that's all that matters. What truly scares me, is I originally wasn't going to apply for this job for the same bullshit reasons I changed my major in the first place. The only reason I did, is because I was so absolutely desperate find work in this terrible job market. My new found happiness is actually due to the terrible job market. How messed up is that?
I hope you brought up their 'lack of communication' in never even letting you know they had a problem with your output speed. Also its kind of rediculous that after only a few months, they expect you to be perfect, it takes time to get used to a new job.