He is shy but is he interested or embarrassed?

[shyangel32]

I myself am a pretty shy person, but more self conscious than shy i suppose. About 7 months ago, I met this guy who is a customer at the bank where I work.  The first time I assisted him, I was immediately drawn to him.  I became pretty nervous around him but was always polite and friendly, as was he.  It was semi awkward because he made me really nervous and he seemed so too.  About two months later he asked one of my coworkers (who he has known for about 10 years) about me, saying that I was cute, etc.  My coworker explained that I was going through a divorce that was almost final, and that my ex had been terrible to me.  She also said that I was a very nice person and kind of shy too.  He explained to her that he had just gotten out of a long relationship a few months back because she had cheated.  I really looked forward to seeing him and about 4 months later I finally got the nerve to ask another of my coworkers to mention to him that I was interested. I was much too nervous to do it on my own.  So he came in, and she mentioned to him that I was interested, and asked if he was single.  He smiled but turned REALLY REALLY red, and got really flustered.  He said that he had to wait for his blood pressure to come down.  He then said that I seem like a sweetheart.  He fumbled with his check and left saying something about being back next week.

It has now been almost 3 weeks and I have not heard from him and he has not come in at all.  Part of me thinks he is avoiding me because he is not interested, another part of me thinks it is just because he is really shy.  I know it is hard to say without knowing him but I want to know what I should do and I am lost

[shyangel32]

I would greatly appreciate any advice

[Scotty]

All you can really do is just wait and see if he comes back in as there could be several reasons why he hasn't so far. Maybe he is a bit shy about it, now that he knows you like him. Or it could be that he is reluctant to start anything right now, possibly due to trust issues left over by his previous relationship. Or it could simply be that something came up in his life that is keeping him busy. In the meantime try not to worry about it, and maybe plan out what you would want to say to him if you see him soon.

[shyangel32]

I hope that I see him again! I am so anxious and I really like him, and I hope that he wasn't offended.

[Farouche]

It sounds like he really has a thing for you! But it also sounds like he had a mini panic attack when your coworker confronted him with the fact that you like him back. I'd imagine his mental processes going something like this:

• Embarrassed by his reaction last time.
• Aware (because he, too, is clearly self-conscious/sensitive) that he barely knows you and worrying that he's over-invested in a fantasy.
• Pressured to make some kind of smooth, decisive "move" the next time he's at the bank.
• Afraid (for good reason) that he'll go into adrenal overload again if he tries to talk to you, and that all of your coworkers will be watching.

If the above is accurate, I wouldn't be surprised if he continued to avoid the bank, even if he's kicking himself the whole time. And, unfortunately, in the internet age there's no reason he'll need to come back at any point to get his banking done. I guess there's also a possibility that he's married and, from his perspective, things just got too "real" with his otherwise innocent bank lady crush (seeing as he didn't directly answer your coworker that he was single, even if it seemed to be implied).

You know the guy's name, right--since you've been processing his checks? Have you tried looking him up on Google/Facebook/whatever?

[Stranger]

Put a block on his credit cards. That might get him back in.

[shyangel32]

Mar 15, 2014 15:40:54 GMT -5 Stranger said:

Put a block on his credit cards. That might get him back in.

Haha maybe

He did finally come back in at the end of last week but of course I was busy with a customer and didn't even see him. I wish I could have at least smiled.

[shyangel32]

Mar 15, 2014 15:35:42 GMT -5 Farouche said:

It sounds like he really has a thing for you! But it also sounds like he had a mini panic attack when your coworker confronted him with the fact that you like him back. I'd imagine his mental processes going something like this:

• Embarrassed by his reaction last time.
• Aware (because he, too, is clearly self-conscious/sensitive) that he barely knows you and worrying that he's over-invested in a fantasy.
• Pressured to make some kind of smooth, decisive "move" the next time he's at the bank.
• Afraid (for good reason) that he'll go into adrenal overload again if he tries to talk to you, and that all of your coworkers will be watching.

If the above is accurate, I wouldn't be surprised if he continued to avoid the bank, even if he's kicking himself the whole time. And, unfortunately, in the internet age there's no reason he'll need to come back at any point to get his banking done. I guess there's also a possibility that he's married and, from his perspective, things just got too "real" with his otherwise innocent bank lady crush (seeing as he didn't directly answer your coworker that he was single, even if it seemed to be implied).

You know the guy's name, right--since you've been processing his checks? Have you tried looking him up on Google/Facebook/whatever?

I do know that he isn't married (he ended a long term relationship a year or so ago, because she cheated) and unfortunately he does not use facebook. I wish that he did because that would take so much pressure off...

[lovelopez]

Well, I'm going to marry one of them, so I'm proof that we're out there.

Thanks