Post by jazzybee on Sept 29, 2022 13:15:25 GMT -5
Hi!
I will try to keep this as brief as I can, though I am sure it probably won't be.
For about 4 or 5 years there is a guy at work who is very shy around me (I am shy too but not as much as I used to be - also, I went through a lot of bullying and abuse when I was younger)
He is single and lives on his own (I didn't ask, I was told this by other friends) and he works in a separate department to me.
One time we were alone together and he struck up a conversation with me completely out of the blue about places I travelled to. I told him I spent most of my time travelling around the UK than abroad and he said the places I tend to go to are places he goes to a few times every year. He was smiling at me too, something he rarely does, he always looks grumpy!
He then suggested if he and I had the same time off we could meet up and spend time together. I was taken aback at what he said and I said "maybe".
He would help me look for other work at the time (I was agency staff) and he didn't like the idea of me taking up any work on the phones. He didn't feel it'd suit me so he did put me forward for an office job which sounded a bit complicated - the thought was still there, however. He did not want me looking for work outside of the company either.
Just before the pandemic we were at the company Christmas party and although we didn't speak to each other we kept exchanging glances (he and I were mixing with other people and I mostly hung around with my girl friends). I was once talking to another guy who was on my team at the time and he didn't seem to like it because he gave me a really intent look and as he passed me in my chair he ran his hand along my back. He was heard to ask people I know for my name and where I was working - I didn't really know why.
After we came back to work when Covid restrictions were lifted I started a new job and I happened to be working around the corner from him. He was already at his desk and when I sat down in my own desk he was heard to speak to one of his team really excitedly about me, saying "omg, (my name) works around the corner from us! omg!"
The following day I came in and I heard him say "I didn't think (my name) was working in the office because I didn't recognise her at first. She's got her hair up (I usually wear it down) but I know that she is little and blonde."
I would walk past him and feel his eyes on me; I would catch him in window glass reflections looking straight at me; a few times he's tried to walk over to me but the second someone he knows sees him and greets him he pulls away and quickly walks off.
I recently signed up to the gym to help strengthen the muscles in my back, knees and legs (he also goes to the gym but at different times to me) and after my shift one day I changed into my gym clothes and I walked past his desk to the stairwell that leads to the gym (he was still working and he finishes an hour after I do) and I caught him looking over at me (he was about 40 metres away from me) and I saw that he was blushing. If I catch him looking at me I will look in his direction and he will quickly look away and down at the floor as he passes me.
I was once out shopping with a friend and he happened to be walking in the opposite direction to us. I was engaged in conversation at the time and I knew how socially awkward this guy was, so I didn't acknowledge him as such; however, he drifted closer to me and as he passed me I felt something on my lower back - in the exact same place as his hand was when he once held a door open for me. It wasn't my friend touching me as their arms were by their sides and there was nobody else around!
I just don't know how to deal with this. He does seem like a nice guy, he's well known and popular, but he's known to be extremely blunt, almost abrupt, with others and is not a conversationalist (as many of us aren't). He always looks grumpy or angry, but if I smile at him or if I am nearby his face lights up and his eyes go all puppylike. He's very businesslike too, I don't see how I can work with this, so I kind of feel like a no-hoper. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated
I will try to keep this as brief as I can, though I am sure it probably won't be.
For about 4 or 5 years there is a guy at work who is very shy around me (I am shy too but not as much as I used to be - also, I went through a lot of bullying and abuse when I was younger)
He is single and lives on his own (I didn't ask, I was told this by other friends) and he works in a separate department to me.
One time we were alone together and he struck up a conversation with me completely out of the blue about places I travelled to. I told him I spent most of my time travelling around the UK than abroad and he said the places I tend to go to are places he goes to a few times every year. He was smiling at me too, something he rarely does, he always looks grumpy!
He then suggested if he and I had the same time off we could meet up and spend time together. I was taken aback at what he said and I said "maybe".
He would help me look for other work at the time (I was agency staff) and he didn't like the idea of me taking up any work on the phones. He didn't feel it'd suit me so he did put me forward for an office job which sounded a bit complicated - the thought was still there, however. He did not want me looking for work outside of the company either.
Just before the pandemic we were at the company Christmas party and although we didn't speak to each other we kept exchanging glances (he and I were mixing with other people and I mostly hung around with my girl friends). I was once talking to another guy who was on my team at the time and he didn't seem to like it because he gave me a really intent look and as he passed me in my chair he ran his hand along my back. He was heard to ask people I know for my name and where I was working - I didn't really know why.
After we came back to work when Covid restrictions were lifted I started a new job and I happened to be working around the corner from him. He was already at his desk and when I sat down in my own desk he was heard to speak to one of his team really excitedly about me, saying "omg, (my name) works around the corner from us! omg!"
The following day I came in and I heard him say "I didn't think (my name) was working in the office because I didn't recognise her at first. She's got her hair up (I usually wear it down) but I know that she is little and blonde."
I would walk past him and feel his eyes on me; I would catch him in window glass reflections looking straight at me; a few times he's tried to walk over to me but the second someone he knows sees him and greets him he pulls away and quickly walks off.
I recently signed up to the gym to help strengthen the muscles in my back, knees and legs (he also goes to the gym but at different times to me) and after my shift one day I changed into my gym clothes and I walked past his desk to the stairwell that leads to the gym (he was still working and he finishes an hour after I do) and I caught him looking over at me (he was about 40 metres away from me) and I saw that he was blushing. If I catch him looking at me I will look in his direction and he will quickly look away and down at the floor as he passes me.
I was once out shopping with a friend and he happened to be walking in the opposite direction to us. I was engaged in conversation at the time and I knew how socially awkward this guy was, so I didn't acknowledge him as such; however, he drifted closer to me and as he passed me I felt something on my lower back - in the exact same place as his hand was when he once held a door open for me. It wasn't my friend touching me as their arms were by their sides and there was nobody else around!
I just don't know how to deal with this. He does seem like a nice guy, he's well known and popular, but he's known to be extremely blunt, almost abrupt, with others and is not a conversationalist (as many of us aren't). He always looks grumpy or angry, but if I smile at him or if I am nearby his face lights up and his eyes go all puppylike. He's very businesslike too, I don't see how I can work with this, so I kind of feel like a no-hoper. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated
