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Post by SADdaydreamer on Dec 2, 2003 0:14:05 GMT -5
Do you ever feel like you are getting shyer or regressing as you grow older? I swear I am getting more messed up/shy over the years. It makes me sad because I don't like who I'm turning into. Question. Do you ever have the fear of not talking or being quiet...even around the people you are closest with? I will give a specific example to paint this picture... I'll start off by saying my little sister came in from out of town for thanksgiving and I really looked forward to seeing her, we have been close all our lives. For some reason when I was talking with my sister I kept on thinking how I'm a terrible conversationalist and was always worrying about things to talk about and say. There would be these awful silences that have slowly evolved over the last 2 years it seems. It never used to be like that, we used to be able to talk and laugh all night without a care in the world. But now its like I'm shy even around her, and fear what she is thinking of me! I think she sees the change in me she is thinking how dull, boring, and messed up I got. Things like this were always going through my head and I made myself feel uncomfortable. I feel as if I changed into a different person that she nor I like, or recognize anymore. This is crazy I think, she is my own sister, flesh and blood, the person you have always been most close with! But something is different, and I swear it is me. I feel like she has progressed and I have regressed, and she is so far above me. I think I'm going crazy, things like this deeply depress me. Sorry for the long story, I don't expect anyone to relate, I just had to get this off my chest. So back to my question... do you guys feel like you are progressing, always been the same, or regressing in you shyness. I swear I have become so socially awkward over the years it's amazing. I would have never dreamed eye contact or simply talking to someone could be so difficult...
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Post by moogle on Dec 2, 2003 9:29:34 GMT -5
Do you think some event triggered this regression? About your sister, maybe it is part of the regression, but maybe it's just because you hadn't seen her as much as you used to. For me to be talkative with someone, there has to be a certain amount of comfort. A few months ago, I went to visit relatives in England and then Switzerland. With my cousins in England, whom I hadn't seen in at least 5 years, it took about a half hour to get talkative. With my other relatives in Switzerland, it took a few days. It depends on the person (or, I suppose, location  ) Anyway, to answer the question, I feel I'm progressing. |
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Post by CaryGrant on Dec 2, 2003 11:36:39 GMT -5
Progressing: work situations, casual social situations, eye contact, going out.
Regressing or stagnant: dating, creating deeper friendships.
The areas we work on overcoming get better, while those we avoid....
50% of the conversational responsibility is your sister's, so don't take all the blame. Also, as people change, they may have less to talk about without a concerted effort to find common ground. It is very common for friends to grow apart and find their values and interests have changed (eg: single vs. married-with-kids friends).
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Post by Placido on Dec 3, 2003 8:10:43 GMT -5
I regressed bigtime when I discovered that alcohol loosened me up socially...
Depending on that for social interaction held me back for about ten years, I'd say - don't do it, kids!
And then there was the two years I lost to internet forums...
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Post by InmanRoshi on Dec 13, 2003 17:17:25 GMT -5
Do you ever feel like you are getting shyer or regressing as you grow older? I swear I am getting more messed up/shy over the years. It makes me sad because I don't like who I'm turning into. Question. Do you ever have the fear of not talking or being quiet...even around the people you are closest with? I will give a specific example to paint this picture... I'll start off by saying my little sister came in from out of town for thanksgiving and I really looked forward to seeing her, we have been close all our lives. For some reason when I was talking with my sister I kept on thinking how I'm a terrible conversationalist and was always worrying about things to talk about and say. There would be these awful silences that have slowly evolved over the last 2 years it seems. It never used to be like that, we used to be able to talk and laugh all night without a care in the world. But now its like I'm shy even around her, and fear what she is thinking of me! I think she sees the change in me she is thinking how dull, boring, and messed up I got. Things like this were always going through my head and I made myself feel uncomfortable. I feel as if I changed into a different person that she nor I like, or recognize anymore. This is crazy I think, she is my own sister, flesh and blood, the person you have always been most close with! But something is different, and I swear it is me. I feel like she has progressed and I have regressed, and she is so far above me. I think I'm going crazy, things like this deeply depress me. Sorry for the long story, I don't expect anyone to relate, I just had to get this off my chest. So back to my question... do you guys feel like you are progressing, always been the same, or regressing in you shyness. I swear I have become so socially awkward over the years it's amazing. I would have never dreamed eye contact or simply talking to someone could be so difficult... It absolutely gets worse as you get older, because we are creatures of habit. Whether we are digging new trails or digging ourselves deeper into our same ole' ruts, we're always digging. As you live more and more inside of your own head there is more difficulty connecting with others. Not only are there uncomfortable silences, but you find that you're so accustomed to the dialouge in your own head, that you use it when speaking to others. The result is often 10 minute diatribes to people in subjects that only seem comprehensible or interesting to myself. |
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