Shy Liars

[Some Guy]

I was wondering what the shy people of this forum think of those people who claim to be shy when in fact they are anything but. I think that some people think they will sound better or something if they say they are shy even though this is untrue. Personally it really irritates me and its kind of an insult to shy people who actually have problems with their shyness.

I frequently mess about on www.hotornot.com (im sure you have all heard of it) and i was looking through the "meet me" section for anyone with the word "shy" in their self-description key words. I found so many people who used the word shy to describe themselves also describe themselves as "very outgoing" "talkative" "bubbly" and a whole host of other words and expressions that are a direct contradiction to shyness. I dont know why these people feel the need to pretend to be shy or claim to be and its so annoying when many shy people would give a lot to stop their shyness. This is just an example which you can try yourself if you visit that site, im sure you have come across it many times in other ways too.

Do you have an opinion on this issue and have you come across it yourself? Please share if so

[Alecto]

I've come across that some what. I've known a few people who have claimed they were shy, but act completely the opposite.I don't understand it, but its quite annoying

[EdgedInBlue]

I find it mostly in guys who are just desperate to endear themselves to impressionable women. My take on it: it's a good laugh ;D

[Placido]

The word 'shy' can be overused - everyone (or almost everyone) is at least a little apprehensive of what others might think of them, and people might like to use the word 'shy' to describe this feeling.

But it's just like you or I might say 'I'm starving' - if a genuine victim of famine heard the expression he would no doubt consider it flippant and offensive.

Maybe apparently unshy people do feel a little of what we feel - and just because it's only a little, and doesn't hold them back in life, it doesn't make the fact that they feel it sometimes any the less real.

[spitzig]

Most people are situationally shy. And, to different degrees. I've had a couple of people be really surprised when I mention being shy(of course, their surprise surprised ME, because I think it's obvious I'm shy). It's because when I met them, I was in a comfortable situation. Probably surrounded by friends.

[joely]

this is dumb talk about yourselvs not sad folks who clearly have more problems than us

[toyboy]

When I went to university there was a friend called Michelle who had excellent social skills. I was always surprised by the way she would say just the right thing at the right time to make people feel at ease and I would call her the 'butterfly' because wherever we went she was the perfect social butterfly and she would go and talk to everyone. Her closest friend told me that Michelle had told her that she was shy. I just laughed and it was then that I realised that people who are not 100% confident ALL the time seem to label themselves as shy. This means that probably 95% of the popualtion regard themselves as shy. People like Michelle have no real understanding of the shyness that others experience so badly that it is a serious problem in their lives. I found that going to university where no one knew me or had preconceived ideas about me was really helpful. It was a new start and everyone was very friendly because they also knew no one and wanted to make friends. They didn't see me as a shy person they just saw me as a person and in the end it boosted my confidence. I realise that I was lucky and for others, going to university would be a nightmare.