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Post by Twice-Shy on Apr 9, 2003 13:55:34 GMT -5
Does the fact that shy people are more sensitive, loving and committed mean that they make better partners in relationships?
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Tiff
Junior Member
25-year old Administrative Assistant who crochets and knits!
Posts: 80
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Post by Tiff on Apr 9, 2003 14:26:36 GMT -5
Does the fact that shy people are more sensitive, loving and committed mean that they make better partners in relationships? Hi, I don't know if they make better partners...for myself i worry about being taken advantage of by a guy because I don't speak up. I don't know if shys in general are like that. If you have low self-esteem and self-confidence that comtributes to it. I personally would need a guy that is direct if he likes me or not. I'm shy and I would have trouble approaching a shy guy. Granted I don't need a guy that is the life of the party, but a little less shy than I am. |
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Post by unionjackattack86 on Apr 9, 2003 16:00:35 GMT -5
I don't know really, I'm generally shy and I got my first girlfriend last year and we split up after approximately 13 weeks due to various problems and almost all of them were a result of my shyness.
One of the problems were that I didn't speak to her as much as she wanted me to when we were alone, another was that I wouldn't meet up with any of her friends because everytime she invited me out with them, there was always a big group going and I didn't feel comfortable knowing that I would be the stranger out of a circle of friends so I always rejected her offers to go out with them.
I think the main problem was I wouldn't show her any affection, if she kissed me or anything, I would but I would never be the first to do it and after a while she stopped doing it to see if I would do it but I assumed she stopped because she didn't want to do it so I didn't bother trying.
On the other hand though, the good points about my shyness relationship wise were I never had any friends so she had my undivided attention, there was no chance of me running off with another girl or chatting up her friends [not that I would anyway even if I was confident] and unlike most lads it seems today, i'm not after sex.
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Post by spitzig on Apr 9, 2003 17:07:20 GMT -5
Does the fact that shy people are more sensitive, loving and committed mean that they make better partners in relationships? I tend to think this is a bad assumption. If you ever look at the shyness newsgroup, a large percentage of them seem to be shy guys hating women. I think there was one guy on it who considered rape acceptable, because women had been not nice to him. Also, women don't seem really turned on by low self-esteem. The last girl I went out with more than once dumped me because I wanted to know what I was going to be doing that day. She had her cell phone off most of the day, so I called her a few times. Apparently, too many. If I'd had a life, I probably wouldn't have been so concerned about whether I was going to be going out with her that day. On the other hand, shyness is something I can really relate to, and relating to people is key in developing social bonds, whether they are romantic or friendship. |
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Post by NewOrleansLady on Apr 11, 2003 20:21:17 GMT -5
I think it all depends on the person. I know a lot of people who get frustrated trying to talk to shy people so, unless they were friends already, they usually don't go any further than a first date. I was extreamly shy on dates because I would put too much presser on myself to be somewhat outspoken, I was more shy than usual because of it. When I had met my husband I was comfortable around him from the start and he had just gotten out of a relationship with a girl who had to be the life of the party so I was a good change for him. When I'm comfortable with a person, I consider myself quiet instead of shy. The conversation is good but, I'm still not going to do any body shots or dance on the bar.
So, I think it all depends on the people involved and what they are looking for. If they aren't looking for a serious relationship than being shy would probably hurt your chances with them
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Post by angelka on Jun 30, 2003 2:13:07 GMT -5
For the most part, I think that being shy does make you a better partner. For me, when I find someone I feel comfortable enough with that I can call them a friend, I am absolutely loyal. Shyness usually goes with sensitivity so if you're sensitive to your partner's needs, that's always a good thing.
My husband and I are both shy, both insecure and sensitive. When we first met, we felt so luckey to have found eachother, we had no doubt that we were "soul mates" because we understood eachother so well. BUT, I can't say that it has been good for us.
Both being so sensitive, both having been hurt in past relationships, I think that we've really wasted a good part of our marriage trying to figure out how the other person was going to screw the other over. We both doubt that the other truly loves us and wonder what the "catch" is that he REALLY wants to be with me and vise versa.
Plus, sometimes it seems that we both NEED so much that neither of us feels satisfied. (Does that make sense?)
Also, my brother was really shy in high school, didn't have many dates, etc. But, he married his high school crush, the one girl in school that everyone dreamed about. I used to get so sick of hearing him say, "Man, I wish a girl like her would go out with me." They were very happy for a while. But, after a few years of marriage, he started receiving alot of female attention, most of these women weren't nearly of the same caliber as his wife who was beautiful, intelligent, charming...and due to the fact that he became involved with these women, (sexually) his marriage ended. So so sad. Because he has told me himself, "I never dated in high school, no one was ever interested in me, it's just too much of a temptation."
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