Hi. I'm 18 years old and both myself and my boyfriend are incredibly shy. We have been going together for a long time. I would love to take our relationship to the next level but I don't know how to bring up the topic. Any advice?
i probably heard this on a safe sex commercial or something, but it's good advice: if you can't talk with your partner about sex, you shouldn't be having it. i know talking about it is hard, but if it's what you want you have to do it. communication is important in every relationship.
Post by unionjackattack86 on Apr 15, 2003 3:15:01 GMT -5
I agree with Moogle, communication is very important. As for bringing it up, i'm not too sure, maybe get on to the subject of kids and ask him does he want them in the future or something and try and tie it in with that. Although your both incredibly shy, you must be comfortable with each other considering you've been together for so long, i'm relatively shy and so was my last girlfriend and it only took me a few weeks to be comfortable around her. You could just try and be honest and say I feel ready for sex now but you don't have to have it with me if you don't want to just yet.
Well, I'm in general a fan of people having sex, so I don't go for the safe sex commercial thing. But, from a practical standpoint, the first girl I regularly had sex with, I wasn't comfortable talking about sex with. I think the sex suffered because I wasn't comfortable even talking to her enough to get her to try other positions. It resulted in boring sex before long.
But, in an actual relationship, communication is important on other levels, too. Like, not talking about why the sex wasn't good might result in one person thinking the other person isn't interested in them, when they just aren't impressed by the technique.
Hmm...last person to ask for advice on this. But I agree that being comfortable talking about it is important..otherwise you can run into problems and lack of communication..what you like and don't or being honest about the sex in general..etc.
Tiff "I want to sing as if nobody heard me, I want to love as if nobody hurt me, I want to dance as if noone saw me"
Post by NewOrleansLady on Apr 20, 2003 2:03:16 GMT -5
I might be wrong in giving this advice but... I think that it might make things easier on the two of you if you buy a condom or something and leave it where he can find it. Hopefully he will ask you about it and you can say that you bought it for the two of you. Once the topic is brought up it should be a little easier discussing it. You both might still fell a little awkward at first but, you will come around.
"There are two things I hate, people who are intolerant of other peoples cultures and the dutch!" Nigel Powers