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Post by unionjackattack86 on Apr 25, 2003 15:37:03 GMT -5
I get lonely too, mainly when I see other couples, especially on Valentine's day. I also get lonely when I see a girl i'm attracted to because it always reminds me about my desire for a girlfriend and I see girls I like everyday as I work in a shop in the town centre so their everywhere. When you say take it or leave it, do you mean you either do it or you don't? I can totally relate to you when you say your single, half by choice, half by not. I'm single and I want a girlfriend but I don't do anything to get one, I don't flirt, I don't challenge myself to go out and make friends to gain a social life to then go on to find girls e.t.c. I think friends are the main thing you need generally to get a girlfriend because you can meet people through them, you can go out and meet complete strangers with them and they can set you up with people sometimes. I sort of drifted away from the friends I did have in high school though for various reasons so now I don't really have anyone I could call a "friend."
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Post by cellardoor on Apr 25, 2003 22:55:08 GMT -5
I know this question wasn't directed at me, but it's a good one and I'd like to answer from my end..hope that is okay I don't know any different than single, never had a boyfriend. I am content or perhaps "used" to being independent, doing what I want and when. I don't let being single change me, my life goes on and I'm happy. I would like to have a boyfriend someday, but I'm not in a huge rush and that's why I haven't done anything "constructive" in that area to change it (dating services, blind dates..etc), I just continue on, take some classes and go forward. Well that's it the risk in this kind of thinking is that it may never happen by leaving it solely to the perceived anticipatory notion that it will at some more appropriate time down the track, so waiting passively (albeit while simultaneously conducting something akin to a life) does not offer much consolation when the realisation finally hits that the last train left an hour ago, and you'd never even ventured anywhere near a railway station. fear can destroy life. but the loss of hope provides the final nail for the coffin.
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Post by cellardoor on Apr 25, 2003 23:03:26 GMT -5
Would you like it to change or are you happy being single? the question alone is painful. i live my life paralysed by fear. i know no other way. i used to believe in fluffy white cloud endings. now i don't. it is ludicrous to think of any other reality other than this. but it is agonising to watch other people go down the same road.
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Tiff
Junior Member
25-year old Administrative Assistant who crochets and knits!
Posts: 80
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Post by Tiff on Apr 26, 2003 7:13:30 GMT -5
the risk in this kind of thinking is that it may never happen by leaving it solely to the perceived anticipatory notion that it will at some more appropriate time down the track, so waiting passively (albeit while simultaneously conducting something akin to a life) does not offer much consolation when the realisation finally hits that the last train left an hour ago, and you'd never even ventured anywhere near a railway station. fear can destroy life. but the loss of hope provides the final nail for the coffin. That's a problem I know. I do fear guys...well some of them. I fear what they want and wonder if it's something that I can give or not. I have taken but one risk in this area askign one guy out..while it didn't go anywhere after going out one time with this guy, I do consider it a success for me...since I never did ask one out before. I don't know if I would do it again. It takes alot of somethings for me to be interested in a guy, I don't just pick at random. It has to be a guy I "know". The guy I did ask out was a guy that I see alot at work, that's why it felt a little easier to do it. So, I have ventured to the railway station, but never gotten on a train as the train wasn't interested. Not problem liking guys, they just don't see me that way. As I'm lacking in self-confidence, I'm sure they pick up on that, everyone likes to be around confident people. Sometimes I do fear that I am letting chances to ask guys out pass me by.., but on the other hand, I can't ask a guy out that I'm not interested in? It takes a certain to get my attention in a guy (I'm not interested in ones that are already taken girlfriend/married..whatever, they lost their appeal). It takes alot to date and be around someone, it involves alot of talking and asking questions...to be honest..alot of work! lol You have to truly be interested in doing that. I haven't lost hope though. I know there are good guys out there. I'm not as cynical to thinking that all guys are jerks. As long as I have hope I'm fine. Thanks for bringing some of your thoughts to what I said. Gave me somethings to think about.
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Post by cellardoor on Apr 28, 2003 2:55:56 GMT -5
That's a problem I know. I do fear guys...well some of them. I fear what they want and wonder if it's something that I can give or not. I have taken but one risk in this area askign one guy out..while it didn't go anywhere after going out one time with this guy, I do consider it a success for me...since I never did ask one out before. I don't know if I would do it again. It takes alot of somethings for me to be interested in a guy, I don't just pick at random. It has to be a guy I "know". The guy I did ask out was a guy that I see alot at work, that's why it felt a little easier to do it. So, I have ventured to the railway station, but never gotten on a train as the train wasn't interested. Not problem liking guys, they just don't see me that way. As I'm lacking in self-confidence, I'm sure they pick up on that, everyone likes to be around confident people. Sometimes I do fear that I am letting chances to ask guys out pass me by.., but on the other hand, I can't ask a guy out that I'm not interested in? It takes a certain to get my attention in a guy (I'm not interested in ones that are already taken girlfriend/married..whatever, they lost their appeal). It takes alot to date and be around someone, it involves alot of talking and asking questions...to be honest..alot of work! lol You have to truly be interested in doing that. I haven't lost hope though. I know there are good guys out there. I'm not as cynical to thinking that all guys are jerks. As long as I have hope I'm fine. Thanks for bringing some of your thoughts to what I said. Gave me somethings to think about. thank you for replying to me Tiff. the anxiety in posting is terrible, so the fact you responded gave me some relief. it sounds like you're an extremely brave and positive person, despite your shyness. all the points you raised were important and well-thought out ones. i'm glad you work hard to keep hope alive.
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Tiff
Junior Member
25-year old Administrative Assistant who crochets and knits!
Posts: 80
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Post by Tiff on Apr 28, 2003 4:23:39 GMT -5
thank you for replying to me Tiff. the anxiety in posting is terrible, so the fact you responded gave me some relief. it sounds like you're an extremely brave and positive person, despite your shyness. all the points you raised were important and well-thought out ones. i'm glad you work hard to keep hope alive. Thank you for saying that. I know there is hope for all of us. Things can and do change often and I do think for those of us that do want a boyfriend/girlfriend someday, we will have our chance Yes, posting can be scary at times, you wonder if people will respond to you and what they think of you, even people you have never seen! LOL.
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