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Post by Twice-Shy on Jul 2, 2003 14:24:57 GMT -5
Who is your best friend? What sort of relationship do you have with them?
Mine used to be my wife but now its my mother. We've been through an incredible amount together so we are best friends.
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Post by urbanspaceman on Jul 2, 2003 14:58:23 GMT -5
If we're counting family in this, then it probably would be my sister for the same reason. We've had to put up with a lot at home for a long time, become closer because of it, and are similar kinds of people, with the same sense of humour.
Outside the family, I don't know if I could pick. I have a circle of about 5 friends and we all get on really well (when we see each other, not very often now as people have moved around). The mate I meet up with most often has the same sense of humour, we're both seriously into films (he's a big fan of a few composers, wouldn't mind doing it himself; I'm more into the writing side of things, and I'd love to do that as a job), but he's probably the only friend outside my family who I feel I can talk about problems with, and vice-versa. I think that's probably down to us going drinking, socialising, etc, together as our other mates from school/college have moved away, so I guess we kind of rely on each other so we don't go mad doing crap jobs for a living!
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Post by g3netix on Jul 28, 2003 17:38:11 GMT -5
my best mate is kinda shy as well but were not when were together lol were quite active just taken up golf lol i love u shane.
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Post by Shane on Jul 29, 2003 7:18:18 GMT -5
The feeling is mutual.
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Post by g3netix on Jul 31, 2003 15:58:20 GMT -5
kool lets have a group hug!
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Post by Venus on Aug 4, 2003 8:26:38 GMT -5
Who is your best friend? What sort of relationship do you have with them? Mine used to be my wife but now its my mother. We've been through an incredible amount together so we are best friends. Actually, my pets.
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Post by NewOrleansLady on Aug 15, 2003 21:10:46 GMT -5
I haven't had a best friend in a long time. My sister, husband and I share the same group of friends so I always do stuff with them. My mom and I are close as well. I have a hard time making good friends now that I am out of school and don't see the same people on a daily basis. Also, when there is something that I want to do I prefer to do it alone or with my sister or husband because I can speak my mind with them. When I do things with other people, I usually let them "run the show" and make all of the decisions. I just hate the thought of dragging somebody along when they wish that they were doing something else. I'm sure that that's not the case since most people I know would tell me if they didn't want to do something.
I always go shopping alone just because I know that I wouldn't speak up and ask somebody to go into stores or make them wait while I try something on. I know people who never want to go home and "call it a day" and I tend to avoid them just because I know that I wouldn't want to be the one to say that I want to go home.
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Post by Twice-Shy on Aug 16, 2003 8:37:42 GMT -5
I have found that since I came home a couple of years ago I have a real independent straek in me. I used to do absolutely everything with my wife and kids and when I seperated from them it really was tough going. I felt incredible lonely for a long time but that is wearing off now
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Post by Michael1973 on Aug 18, 2003 9:13:56 GMT -5
Wow, New Orleans Lady, I could have written your entire post myself. I have those exact same problems/fears when I'm out with people, even my own family. If I decide what we're going to do, I worry that the other person is just going along and that they'd really rather do something else. I also prefer doing many things alone because otherwise I'm either having to leave before I'm ready, or waiting around because the other person is not ready. I feel guilty if my behavior inconveniences the other person in any way.
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Post by shyvegan on Nov 9, 2003 0:07:25 GMT -5
I don't have a best friend. Actually I don't have any friends. Growing up my mom was my best friend, but things change. She let me down a lot. Then my husband was my friend, but I would not say he was ever my best friend, because he doesn't talk to me and doesn't spend time with me. So I am lonely most of the time. I could go on, but I should not ramble on.
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Post by CaryGrant on Nov 14, 2003 13:24:38 GMT -5
It's hard for me to make friends, and then I move and leave them behind. Last 10 years: Canada (2 places) - Dallas (3 places) - Phoenix (2 places) - Sedona, Arizona - Phoenix (2 places) - Long Beach, California - Canada (2 places).
I finally figured out that one reason I keep moving it to avoid intimacy, as much as I crave it. I've actually had to make a conscious decision to make one city my home and NOT MOVE, to allow myself the possibility of making some lasting friendships. Face-to-face, not virtual.
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Post by shyvegan on Nov 14, 2003 13:29:37 GMT -5
So cary grant what town did you finally decide on? I think I have had that problem to. I have moved to so many places in my life.
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Post by CaryGrant on Nov 14, 2003 13:39:53 GMT -5
Hi shy vegan. I'm vegetarian, often vegan. The problem with veganism is that it's totally digital: eat honey or wear leather, and you're not vegan. So now I call myself a vegetarian.
I'm in Victoria, BC. It took an enormous effort of will to not move on. (See my diary: I desperately wanted to go to Russia for a year, but it was really just a way to escape facing up to my fear of intimacy.) Fortunately, Victoria has lost of veggie stuff going on. I joined the local vegetarian group, for example, and once-a-month I go to a potluck.
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Post by shyvegan on Nov 14, 2003 14:01:57 GMT -5
Sounds like a great place. Especially since it has lots of vegetarian things. I can't find many places where I live like that. Wish it was though. I just read what you wrote in the diary section. It sounds like you have figured out away to deal with being shy. If only I could do as much as you have done to over come being shy, it would be great. Sorry if my spelling and grammer is not to good. I have always had a problem with that. It's very good that you started hugging your children, I know they need and want that very much.
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Post by CaryGrant on Nov 14, 2003 14:25:34 GMT -5
I hug them, but it's still so uncomfortable for me.
Small steps, shy vegan. That's all I can take. One of the therapists I saw suggested small steps, then pointed out that, as I progressed, possibilities would open up for me that I couldn't even see in my current, constricted state. He was right.
I highly recommend "Shyness" by Bernardo Carducci for anyone wanting to become "successfully shy," as he calls it. It's especially useful if you have no idea what to do or are afraid of doing anything.
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