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Post by Temporary on Dec 27, 2003 0:14:07 GMT -5
writing this is really uncomfortable but i dont know where else to turn. I am currently with my first girlfriend and she wants to start having sex. We've talked about it and she knows I've never been with anyone and I know she has.
The trouble is I feel like she means a million times more to me than I do to her because Ive never been with anyone and I think if I have sex with her she will move onto someone else. Im also worried that she only wants to have sex with me because she feels sorry for me.
Now whenever she starts to initiate something I feel really sick with worry and can't respond. I think she'll leave me if I dont have sex with her soon. I know youll probably say oi should talk to her or something but i dont want her to know how pathetic i am cos she will feel even more sorry for me then.
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Post by CaryGrant on Dec 27, 2003 12:07:34 GMT -5
This is a tough one. It's good that you've talked about your sexual histories (to a limited extent only, I hope).
It's impossible for any of us to judge her feelings for you, and perhaps too difficult for you to figure out, too. You may mean the world to her regardless of your mutual history; it doesn't necessarily work that way.
Right now your thinking is lose-lose:
You sound desperate to hang onto this girl, and desperation is both a turnoff and can make you do things you regret, because they're not what you really want. Do YOU want to have sex with her? If yes, then do it. If no, then don't. Either way she may stay or go, and you don't have any control over her. Right now, you're trying to keep her by doing what you think will make her stay - you're trying to manipulate her, really.
You could ask her where she sees this relationship going - that's a very fair question to ask before you have sex. After all, you may not want to have sex unless you both see the relationship continuing.
That said, there are no guarantees in relationships, and it takes two to make them work. All you can do is be true to yourself and hope that you find someone who respects that.
Hope this helps, and good luck.
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Post by bitchbded on Jan 14, 2004 9:27:22 GMT -5
first time sex is never rose petals, some encounters are better than others. I bet if your gf remembers her first time she'd say that it only got better..i know from doing it myself a lot of people waste their first time to get it over with, it seems such a frightening prospect. If your at the stage were u both care for each other the whole idea of performance should not be in question. If your prepared emotionally it usually helps. Please dont waste it because if ur not emotionally prepared youve only lost your virginity physically, my current relationship was just as frightening as my first time because i actually cared for the person. good luck bud x
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