Post by CaryGrant on Mar 11, 2004 11:04:01 GMT -5
Here's an article from a "dating guru." Interesting for shy guys, because we tend to rationalise why we can't meet or keep women, assigning the blame to our looks, finances, etc., and his position is that none of these things has a significant bearing on why most women will or will not go out with you.
I left his contact info, in case someone wanted to check out his site (I may buy his book myself), and because it didn't seem right to copy his article without doing so.
THE TRUTH ABOUT ATTRACTION
Michael W
What you are about to read is not conjecture. I didn't make it up or dream it up. It is based on my actual experimentation in the real world. And not just one day's worth. I'm talking years of testing this stuff.
Super gorgeous women are not necessarily attracted
to guys with cars, big houses, a sense of humor, or anything else per se.
And they are actually not particularly attracted to jerks, per se.
What women ARE attracted to is something that I call SUPERIOR intrinsic value. SIV for short.
It's got nothing to do with cars or any other external object.
SIV's are the intrinsic personal abilities and traits that are considered superior by a woman's biology and also by the society to which she identifies with.
So for example, almost any ability that you possess that society values will not only be respected by a woman, but actually, to varying extents, make a woman attracted to you.
So for example, firefighters are highly valued by society. They are heroic, etc. And guess what, firefighters are considered sexy to the max.
Now, it's not the official job, it's not the money, even if he didn't get paid, this ability has intrinsic value in our society.
How about something like a sense of humor?
Well, society does value a sense of humor, but
if you make self-deprecating about yourself to a woman, she may very well interpret that you are low on intrinsic value despite your sense of humor.
And so your sense of humor was used in a way that
actually LOST you points on the sexy scale.
See that?
How about being rich? Money is not intrinsic to your personal identity. So winning the lottery doesn't make you sexy.
But if you, for example, earned it on your own without having the path smoothed for you it is an ability that is attractive.
The more society values that ability, or that trait, the sexier you become.
And yes, looks is also an intrinsic trait that is part of you, but it is only one trait.
But here is the REALLY REALLY BIG NEWS:
Your actual intrinsic value is almost completely irrelevant!
WHAT DOES MATTER IS WHAT WOMEN FEEEEEL YOUR intrinsic value IS!
This is why you can have a guy who has every credential in the book who is alone on Saturday night and another guy who has got nothing and has more babes than he can handle.
A woman bases her feelings for you on just about everything you do. Even the way you dress. And how she feels it conveys your intrinsic worth or lack of it.
And she does it all unconsciously.
You can't explain to her why you are a sexy guy. Or why someone else is not a sexy or good guy for her.
It doesn't work that way.
The "sexual choices" processes in the human mind are based on life the way it was a million years ago, not the way it is today. A time when we sized up our sexual mates by observing rather than talking over coffee.
You're not going to change evolution overnight. Instead, you have to learn to communicate with a mind that is operating on a million year old program. A program designed to deal with a different situation.
Mind you, it was a very effective program one million years ago.
It's just not updated yet.
So we have to learn to speak its (her) language or we're all going to get nowhere, okay?
Hey, women don't mind working hard to speak to us in our illogical language- i.e. DOING THEIR BEST TO LOOK LIKE GORGEOUS BABES!
So let's do our part and communicate our best too.
Describing the entire language here is beyond the scope of this newsletter, but allow me to give a picture of it here.
Since women are designed to be attracted to superior intrinsic value, they will be observing your behavior to see if it's congruent and consistent with that of a man who truly has superior intrinsic value.
So let's say for example, guy ibe goes to a busy club and at first just watches for 15 minutes and does not interact with anyone and basically looks pretty serious.
And then he decides to go out on the dance floor and aggressively bumps and grinds with a few girls he doesn't know.
He asks one of them some question like if they always come there.
They nod and go away and before he knows it, they are talking to some other guy.
Then he goes back to watching.
Now, let's say you saw another guy come in, who seemed a lot more relaxed, a good mood, he teases some girls about their wacky outfits, and as they laugh he winks, walks away and gets himself a drink. On the way there, he bumps into a couple of girls and tells them jokingly to stop feeling him up, and at the bar he casually starts talking to some girls beside him about some latest gossip about JLo and Ben Affleck.
Pretty soon, the original girls he met (who he has actually forgotten about since he planned to actually chat it up with ALL the girls there and so they were not the main thing on his mind) are walking by, they see him with these other girls and make eye contact anyway.
Okay, FREEZE FRAME.
Do you see what is going on here?
There is a lot going on here. The first guy has done a set of actions that conveys a certain message about himself.
The second guy has done a different set of actions and conveyed a different message about himself.
Which guy do you think is cooler?
Number ONE or number TWO?
Exactly.
Now let's say you had to guess about what type of guy each guy is, and what is going ON in each of their lives.
And you're gut feeling about each guy.
Two very different pictures, right?
One seems kind of a sad picture.
A guy who drinks alone, maybe is alone at work and not popular, maybe is boring, who has no self-confidence.
The other seems happening.
Well, I'm here to tell you that the only difference is that one of these guys has learned the language to convey intrinsic worth, and the other one has not.
This is LANGUAGE- body language, behavior, words, attitude. It is the way cool guys communicate that they are sexually desirable to women. And the good news is that this language actually is not haphazard once it's explained to you.
COOL really boils down to: CONVEYING THE AURA OF SUPERIOR intrinsic worth.
When a woman senses this "aura" around you, it's PARTY TIME, BIG TIME, for you.
And here is the best news:
You can actually learn how to convey this "aura".
Everyone has an aura. The question is, is it the aura they want to project? Is that current aura even an accurate image?
Anytime you are in the presence of women, or even interacting with women through something like the internet or the telephone, whether you like it or not, and whether you want to or not, you are actually sending thousands of messages to women.
Even while you are silent.
Now what you can do is either spend forever trying to figure out the language, or you can get on the express track to understanding it.
If you want to get on the EXPRESS TRACK, I recommend you download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets To Success with Women.
It is the BASE FOUNDATION for your success, and it's the place to start.
You can go download the book at:
www.thedatingwizard.com/the_dating_wizard.htm
Till next time,
Michael W
This article contributed by Michael W. of Dating Wizard Learn the Most Powerful, Closely Guarded Secrets for Attracting Women Anywhere, Anytime, No Matter How Beautiful!
I left his contact info, in case someone wanted to check out his site (I may buy his book myself), and because it didn't seem right to copy his article without doing so.
THE TRUTH ABOUT ATTRACTION
Michael W
What you are about to read is not conjecture. I didn't make it up or dream it up. It is based on my actual experimentation in the real world. And not just one day's worth. I'm talking years of testing this stuff.
Super gorgeous women are not necessarily attracted
to guys with cars, big houses, a sense of humor, or anything else per se.
And they are actually not particularly attracted to jerks, per se.
What women ARE attracted to is something that I call SUPERIOR intrinsic value. SIV for short.
It's got nothing to do with cars or any other external object.
SIV's are the intrinsic personal abilities and traits that are considered superior by a woman's biology and also by the society to which she identifies with.
So for example, almost any ability that you possess that society values will not only be respected by a woman, but actually, to varying extents, make a woman attracted to you.
So for example, firefighters are highly valued by society. They are heroic, etc. And guess what, firefighters are considered sexy to the max.
Now, it's not the official job, it's not the money, even if he didn't get paid, this ability has intrinsic value in our society.
How about something like a sense of humor?
Well, society does value a sense of humor, but
if you make self-deprecating about yourself to a woman, she may very well interpret that you are low on intrinsic value despite your sense of humor.
And so your sense of humor was used in a way that
actually LOST you points on the sexy scale.
See that?
How about being rich? Money is not intrinsic to your personal identity. So winning the lottery doesn't make you sexy.
But if you, for example, earned it on your own without having the path smoothed for you it is an ability that is attractive.
The more society values that ability, or that trait, the sexier you become.
And yes, looks is also an intrinsic trait that is part of you, but it is only one trait.
But here is the REALLY REALLY BIG NEWS:
Your actual intrinsic value is almost completely irrelevant!
WHAT DOES MATTER IS WHAT WOMEN FEEEEEL YOUR intrinsic value IS!
This is why you can have a guy who has every credential in the book who is alone on Saturday night and another guy who has got nothing and has more babes than he can handle.
A woman bases her feelings for you on just about everything you do. Even the way you dress. And how she feels it conveys your intrinsic worth or lack of it.
And she does it all unconsciously.
You can't explain to her why you are a sexy guy. Or why someone else is not a sexy or good guy for her.
It doesn't work that way.
The "sexual choices" processes in the human mind are based on life the way it was a million years ago, not the way it is today. A time when we sized up our sexual mates by observing rather than talking over coffee.
You're not going to change evolution overnight. Instead, you have to learn to communicate with a mind that is operating on a million year old program. A program designed to deal with a different situation.
Mind you, it was a very effective program one million years ago.
It's just not updated yet.
So we have to learn to speak its (her) language or we're all going to get nowhere, okay?
Hey, women don't mind working hard to speak to us in our illogical language- i.e. DOING THEIR BEST TO LOOK LIKE GORGEOUS BABES!
So let's do our part and communicate our best too.
Describing the entire language here is beyond the scope of this newsletter, but allow me to give a picture of it here.
Since women are designed to be attracted to superior intrinsic value, they will be observing your behavior to see if it's congruent and consistent with that of a man who truly has superior intrinsic value.
So let's say for example, guy ibe goes to a busy club and at first just watches for 15 minutes and does not interact with anyone and basically looks pretty serious.
And then he decides to go out on the dance floor and aggressively bumps and grinds with a few girls he doesn't know.
He asks one of them some question like if they always come there.
They nod and go away and before he knows it, they are talking to some other guy.
Then he goes back to watching.
Now, let's say you saw another guy come in, who seemed a lot more relaxed, a good mood, he teases some girls about their wacky outfits, and as they laugh he winks, walks away and gets himself a drink. On the way there, he bumps into a couple of girls and tells them jokingly to stop feeling him up, and at the bar he casually starts talking to some girls beside him about some latest gossip about JLo and Ben Affleck.
Pretty soon, the original girls he met (who he has actually forgotten about since he planned to actually chat it up with ALL the girls there and so they were not the main thing on his mind) are walking by, they see him with these other girls and make eye contact anyway.
Okay, FREEZE FRAME.
Do you see what is going on here?
There is a lot going on here. The first guy has done a set of actions that conveys a certain message about himself.
The second guy has done a different set of actions and conveyed a different message about himself.
Which guy do you think is cooler?
Number ONE or number TWO?
Exactly.
Now let's say you had to guess about what type of guy each guy is, and what is going ON in each of their lives.
And you're gut feeling about each guy.
Two very different pictures, right?
One seems kind of a sad picture.
A guy who drinks alone, maybe is alone at work and not popular, maybe is boring, who has no self-confidence.
The other seems happening.
Well, I'm here to tell you that the only difference is that one of these guys has learned the language to convey intrinsic worth, and the other one has not.
This is LANGUAGE- body language, behavior, words, attitude. It is the way cool guys communicate that they are sexually desirable to women. And the good news is that this language actually is not haphazard once it's explained to you.
COOL really boils down to: CONVEYING THE AURA OF SUPERIOR intrinsic worth.
When a woman senses this "aura" around you, it's PARTY TIME, BIG TIME, for you.
And here is the best news:
You can actually learn how to convey this "aura".
Everyone has an aura. The question is, is it the aura they want to project? Is that current aura even an accurate image?
Anytime you are in the presence of women, or even interacting with women through something like the internet or the telephone, whether you like it or not, and whether you want to or not, you are actually sending thousands of messages to women.
Even while you are silent.
Now what you can do is either spend forever trying to figure out the language, or you can get on the express track to understanding it.
If you want to get on the EXPRESS TRACK, I recommend you download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets To Success with Women.
It is the BASE FOUNDATION for your success, and it's the place to start.
You can go download the book at:
www.thedatingwizard.com/the_dating_wizard.htm
Till next time,
Michael W
This article contributed by Michael W. of Dating Wizard Learn the Most Powerful, Closely Guarded Secrets for Attracting Women Anywhere, Anytime, No Matter How Beautiful!
