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Post by ASolitarySoul on Feb 1, 2004 12:55:08 GMT -5
Could you explain why are you are so sure you don't think you have the capcity to change your social functionality? I can change, as anyone else can, but there are limits as to how much a person is able to change, as they have the capacity to do so. ... as a matter of fact, I HAVE changed - I’m MUCH better now, compared to where I was several years ago - it’s just that change is relative, and a matter of degree. In absolute terms, I’m still a social retard, just less of one than what I once was. Solitary Soul all about me -> users3.ev1.net/~solitarysoul/--------------------------------------------------------
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Post by ASolitarySoul on Feb 1, 2004 13:17:35 GMT -5
Go figure...read the home page of Solitarysoul and then figure out just what he is trying to say. I don't get it either? My website is all about me - I’m an expert on me, more so than anyone else is or could be. That I can “say” so much about me, as I do so within that medium of presentation (written, not verbal), is not an accurate reflection of my verbal/social skills. IRL, I have the conversational skills of a dead gold fish. I had another thread in this group sometime ago that fits into this - it’s a piece to the overall puzzle: “Misfit” tinyurl.com/2unwdI think it’s the biggest thread in this group so far. I started the same thread in alt.support.shyness: tinyurl.com/2zsqq ... So you’re in West Texas? I’m in the Brenham/Conroe/Katy area. ... and you? Solitary Soul all about me -> users3.ev1.net/~solitarysoul/--------------------------------------------------------
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Post by CaryGrant on Feb 1, 2004 20:18:43 GMT -5
SS - Ok, so you understand the other person, and they understand you...this doesn't mean the relationship will succeed. In fact, you could well understand the other person and decide you don't want to be with him/her as a result.
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Post by Hermit on Mar 24, 2004 9:58:41 GMT -5
I'm not really in a position to *pick and choose* from girls of any kind, but if i were, i know i would feel more comfortable with someone who was also shy. For one reason, a shy girl is less likely to want to go out a lot... wouldn't someone who is shy be more tolerant of their partner's own shortcomings? And if by some wild chance that a girl with an outgoing personality did really fall for me... in loving her back, how could i possibly curse her with a relationship with a basket case? it could only end badly. At least another shy person wouldn't be losing as much out of the deal.
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Post by Jarous on Mar 24, 2004 14:05:59 GMT -5
And if by some wild chance that a girl with an outgoing personality did really fall for me... in loving her back, how could i possibly curse her with a relationship with a basket case? it could only end badly. At least another shy person wouldn't be losing as much out of the deal. Hermit, I always think in the same way as you do - but reading your post shows clearly how twisted reasoning we shy have. What makes us believe anyone hanging out with us would be just wasting time and losing something? We are all (in our own unique way) worthwhile - only a bit 'impaired.' If someone loves us - he/she cares about the strong points and tries to overlook and accept the shortcomings perhaps even helpping to overcome them. What I wanted to say in the first place? Beliefs like yours (nothing personal, Hermit; they are mine too) are often self-fulfilling. Always remember then: love's blind. Do not underestimate this fact! I would be personally more comfortable with a shy girl but your post tells me that would be a wrong match. We'd likely both resign on ever changing the state we are not pleased with being in. Also the idea of dating shys only because we wouldn't ruin their lives that much is crooked. Just as a matter of principle - aim high - at people you really love.
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Ghost
Full Member
Posts: 220
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Post by Ghost on Mar 24, 2004 19:01:28 GMT -5
Funny...Anyone noticed that the females want guys the opposite of them and the males gals who are like them? Personal I think a mixture of both is healthy. I wouldn't want someone with quite as a similar mindset, but neither would I want someone who is very outgoing. I don't mind to go out, but it depends on what that person likes to go out too. Someone who likes clubbing as example, would be in that area not compatible with me. I rather skydive ;D I am content with just walking, people watching, or other more relaxed outgoings. I like more laid back or fun/amusing things and just the value of spending time together as a group or alone. Someone who would be too similar to me, might cause some problems. My other half should be more stable then I am. Or the other way around. In either way, it is not a ideal combination to put two very unstable people together. There should be support to oen another and not be that they both break down if something happends. That would become a mess. As Jarous and others may have noted, shy and shy isn't always a good combination. I think a balance and understanding is important with shy people. how could i possibly curse her with a relationship with a basket case? Heya! Nothing wrong with baskets! I even have weaved a basket or two as young Ghost (don't ask...*smirk*). Don't see the negative side of the basket life, but see it positive: baskets are useful and decorative. Just like with life, get the best out of it, see the bright side .
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Post by Jarous on Mar 27, 2004 5:02:15 GMT -5
Funny...Anyone noticed that the females want guys the opposite of them and the males gals who are like them? Funny indeed. That reminds me of a saying that men want beautiful females and hope they'll never change but they do. Women want their boy-friends to change (to their liking) but the stubborn fellas never do. Kidding aside. All of my (outgoing) male friends want their girls to be like them - verily they crave drinking female buddies. Gentle females it seems prefer strong individuals to rely on in times of need, responsible and dependant. It all again boils down to male/female differences. The former are enjoying the moment more, careless perhaps, sometimes building castles in the air; the latter more practical, down to the earth and pragmatic. A man worries which pub to spend the evening in, a women what to cook tomorrow.
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