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Post by CaryGrant on Apr 13, 2004 12:50:10 GMT -5
I third sushiboat's advice:
* You don't know he is your dream guy, because you don't know him yet. * Don't spill your guts in the letter. Self-disclosure should be mutual and slow, not all at once. You will appear desperate and may scare him off. How would you feel if someone you had never spent more than a few minutes with told you of his undying love and desire for a lifelong love? * Surely you can find time for coffee/conversation while school is going on?
Chemistry is good. It should include sexual interest, though, too.
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Post by penny on Apr 13, 2004 13:58:28 GMT -5
no not really seeing i'm in college and work also taking full time load and so is he i believe the only time we could go during a semester break i will wait and see.
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Post by CaryGrant on Apr 13, 2004 14:06:38 GMT -5
So the relationship will last as long as the semester break and then end?
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Post by Alecto on Apr 13, 2004 14:16:37 GMT -5
I'm wondering the same thing as CaryGrant.
Are you only going to have the relationship during semester break, and then just end it because you're too busy?
You should be able to find time in your schedule some where.
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Post by prsawyer on Apr 13, 2004 20:42:14 GMT -5
i do not want to unload my feelings on this guy we just met last semester. but i do not want him to lose interest in me which were both shy at times even though he winks and smiles at me. like last semester he would just ask alot of questions by wanted to know stuff about me and open the door for me. he would smile he winked maybe a couple of times but not like he does now with his face all lit up and winks usually everytime he sees me so now he flirts more with me than he did last semester. we do not see each other as much like last semester his schedule and mine is different this time around. we he is not at school he works 5 days a week 30 hrs and does not get off until 4 or 5 am and then turns around and has class the next morning. he also is busy with school by taking 20 hrs. which is alot on someone. of course i would like to know him better and when he sees me on campus he wants to talk to me but he always on his way to class and does not have much time to talk i can see the look on his face that he wishes he could stop and talk to me but were both going two different directions or bulidings for class. i do not want to interfere seeing that he is busy with school and cause him to be mad when i'm studying on campus he will not bother me and will do the same for him we give each other space and show consideration to one another. maybe eventually will have a class together cause i really want to take things slow with this guy and not rush into anything cause i feel the only way to start a relationship sometime once a semester is over maybe go out for coffee but i think while the semester is going on still talked to each other on campus but do not get wraped up in a realtionship and lose all focus on school but take things slow cause i would not want to be the one that made him lose interest in school cause i have a niece and nephew who both attended college and now both are enggaged to get married and dropped out of college i do not want to mess things up and get all wraped up by marrying someone or getting engaged that can wait after college cause this guy wanted to know what my plans are by getting married and i told him after college and he was glad of that cause that was his plans also.
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Post by sushiboat on Apr 13, 2004 22:24:41 GMT -5
prsawyer, if you are firm about your plans, good luck to you. If you are still open to suggestions, read on. 1. Yes, he is busy. However, by flirting with you, he is suggesting to you that he is available now. If he is interested, he will make time for you. Or at the very least, he will tell you that he wants to see you later. 2. When you talk about not wanting engagement or marriage yet, it seems that you are getting ahead of yourself. No one here has suggested that you get engaged or married soon. Talking on the phone for 30 minutes is not a commitment to get married. You can slow down at any time. However, if you miss your window of opportunity, you may not get a second chance. 3. You do not even know for certain whether his interest is romantic. Maybe he just wants a friend. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find out whether he has a romantic interest in you. If you find out soon that he is not romantically interested, you will save yourself months of building castles in the air.
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Post by prsawyer on Apr 13, 2004 23:27:15 GMT -5
so by him being busy he will some point make time even though at times when approached me i tend to get nervous which he knows i never know what to say and sometimes he gets nervous also but not as bad as me. do you think by me being shy and nervous that he's afraid to come on too strong that he will scare me away. ok if him being interested by flirting could it be only friends that he wants which would be fine starting off as that even if thats all it will be at least i can say i made a new friend. last semester he asked me several times if i was married or i have a boyfriend. no i do not want to get ahead of myself i want to know someone first before doing anything just like last week another guy approached me by him just introducing himself and asking me who i am wanted to go out to me that was too fast i do not like aggressive men. the guy i like is shy and i'm shy he lets me be myself which i like he puts no pressure on me to doing anything. i guess i will wait and see after all we just met why rush into something it's not like were going anywhere.
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