The Way of the Superior Man

[CaryGrant]

I'm just finishing a book called The Way of the Superior Man, by David Deida, and it's been a fabulous book. It's all about embracing one's masculinity - that you must do so to feel at peace with yourself and with women. By "superior man" he does NOT mean that men are superior, rather high-quality.

l0ner - he addresses in a deeper and much better way the points some of the dating gurus make. He's pulling together thoughts that have been swirling around in my head for some time now. For example:

• Masculinity and femininity are independent of gender or sexual orientation, though generally speaking, most men are masculine.
  
  
• Any person can be more or less masculine; there is no "right" amount, but you are what you are - it's not something that you can change, just as we all have different interests and talents that we seem to have been born with.
  
  
• The more masculine you are, the more feminine a woman you will be attracted to.
  
  
• The more easygoing and laid-back you are, the more "hot" (ie fiery, full-of-life, quickly sexually aroused) a woman you will be attracted to, and vice-versa.
  
  
• Masculine (very roughly): Mission in life is more important than anything else, including relationships and family; more rational and logical than emotional; straightforward and "a man's word is his bond"; directed and purposeful; prefer to take (conquer) than be taken sexually.
  
  
• Feminine: Love is more important anything else in life, including mission; emotional and highly intuitive; indirect and her word is based on the feeling of the moment; a vast source of undirected energy (life force); prefer to be taken (surrender) than to take.

Controversial, some of it, and I have not expressed much of it very well, but I think he is right on in many areas. Once I finish the book and get my thoughts together, I'll clarify the above. Deida also has a book for women, called "Dear Lover: A Woman's Guide to Enjoying Love's Deepest Bliss." His stuff embraces human sexuality, so if you have a problem with that, you'll be offended.

[l0ner]

Thanks CG. I ordered it and it arrived today. I've got a few other books I want to read first, though (namely Healing The Shame That Binds You and The Power Of Now), but I'll probably get to this within the next two or three weeks.

Thanks again.

[l0ner]

By the way, I also bought the book King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine by Robert Moore, which appears to be a similar read, and seems to be highly acclaimed as well. I'll probably read it after this one.

[CaryGrant]

Thanks l0ner - after you tip I've reserved two Robert Moore books at my local library. I think you'll like the Deida book - it's like the dating books that tell men to grab a spine when dealing with women, but I think much better and deeper.

[l0ner]

I'm almost 3/4s of the way through the Deida book, and this stuff is amazing. Very fast reading, too. Honestly, I feel lucky that I've stumbled upon this wisdom so early on at this age.

[CaryGrant]

Isn't it great? I wish I'd known about it many years ago.... Oh well, probably wouldn't have known what to do with it.

I'm halfway through the Moore book you mentioned - great stuff! It all ties together.

[l0ner]

Good to know the Moore book is a worthy read; I'm literally just about to start it myself.

I finished The Way Of The Superior Man a couple hours ago. Yes, it is great. I began reading it and initially mildy appreciate what it was getting at, but I think it was at chapter 15 where I really got into the book. Seriously, guys are always wishing there was a manual to the inner workings of the female mind; I think a book like this is as close as anyone will ever come.

It's kinda funny....even though at 22 my experience with the opposite sex has been limited to a flirtatious 'friendship' with one amazing girl and one night of getting kind of physically close with her, after reading this book I feel as though I have a much greater understanding--and even appreciation--for the female essence and mind. This kind of wisdom, coupled with a recent surge in self-confidence with girls and a better self-image, and I really do feel eager to have a relationship with a girl, and I feel better prepared for dealing with it than the average person new to relationships probably would be.

By the way, I also ordered Intimate Communion by the same author, and plan on getting Naked Buddhism: 39 Ways to Free Your Heart and Awaken to Now. Both look like good reads.

[CaryGrant]

l0ner - I just joined a group called the Mankind Project, whose mission is "Changing The World One Man at a Time." www.mkp.org/

I posted more about them in my Diary thread. They're mentioned in a couple of books on masculinity, and I think they must be related somehow to Robert Moore's book, because they adopt the archetypes of the King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover.

[l0ner]

That looks interesting. Expensive, though. Doesn't look like something I could/would want to involve myself with at least for a while.

By the way, I'm going to hold off on the King, Warrior.. book for now and start reading one of Deida's other books, Intimate Communion. I'll let you know how it is.