|
|
Post by Alecto on Jul 20, 2004 18:41:54 GMT -5
Welcome to the forums! ;D
I have a huge fear of driving also, especially at night. Just creeps me out.
Its true though, nice guys are extremely hard to find
|
|
|
|
Post by SilentShadow on Jul 20, 2004 18:51:42 GMT -5
There are more nice guys out there than you think, alot of them just pretend to be tough and cold because they think that's what girls like, they believe (like I did) that Nice guys finish last, so they're too stuborn and they take too much pride in their masculinity to be sensitive or show any kind of "weakness"
|
|
|
|
Post by Alecto on Jul 20, 2004 18:58:08 GMT -5
That is true. Then there are the guys who are sensitive and caring around you. And when they're with a group of guy friends, they turn into macho jerks  |
|
|
|
Post by SilentShadow on Jul 20, 2004 19:29:23 GMT -5
That is true. And when they're with a group of guy friends, they turn into macho jerks yeah, heh... I used to be like that  , but I just decided to stop being someone I wasn't and it turns out alot of my other "macho jerk" friends were also very sensitive and caring! Only none of them ever acted that way in the company of other guys. |
|
|
|
Post by Alecto on Jul 20, 2004 19:34:24 GMT -5
eh, well that's pretty smart of you. It would be good if most other guys would realize, being macho isn't all that attractive
|
|
|
|
Post by SilentShadow on Jul 20, 2004 20:15:15 GMT -5
I never got the whole "macho" thing, although I always thought girls loved that sort of thing... shows what I know. I don't like guys that are macho. I don't go around being macho, mainly because it's just another part of the male brain and personality that I don't like. I have a hard enough time dealing with the manly things that are OBLIGATORY, (body hair... c'mon, give me a break! it's NOT COOL!!!) I don't need to experiment with being "macho" when just BEING a guy is annoying enough  |
|
|
|
Post by Alecto on Jul 20, 2004 21:02:16 GMT -5
I think some guys, I know, are stuck in that caveman "Ug" mindset. ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by canisay182 on Jul 20, 2004 23:16:48 GMT -5
hey good job, keep braking that dumb stereotype. i wish more guys would cause they probably are more sensitve then they pretend to be. oh i dont get that whole body hair thing either. i think its a little sick ... lol
|
|
|
|
Post by iroseiroared2 on Jul 21, 2004 4:40:19 GMT -5
SilentShadow, I'm shy but for some reason I'm able to go after the guys I want. If you like a girl a lot, don't be afraid to flirt. You may get rejected but if you don't try you'll have much less of a chance! Plus sometimes society seems to want the guy to make the first move, so maybe there is a girl out there who will be waiting for you but wants you to do something first. I'm sure you're not as bad as you feel. And yeah you're right, I know it may sound very stereotypical but I think chubby girls sometimes may be more self-conscious because thin girls are supposedly the norm for being considered attractive. And don't worry about not having a car.. the guy I like doesn't even have a home! I guess he's staying with friends for now. I'm sure you guys can get around something like that if you truly like each other. Besides, the girl can always drive.  Good luck! |
|
|
|
Post by CaryGrant on Jul 21, 2004 11:36:40 GMT -5
So. Years ago, I had a good friend who had walked into the back of an airplane propellor. he got thrown some distance but not, amazingly, killed. It did leave him with a severe facial twitch. He was also short (for a guy), not in shape, smoked like a chimney (yellow fingers and teeth), and no model. He had no shortage of women, because he was quite intelligent, deep, and NOT AFRAID. He could be quite charming because he was not afraid. Women of poor character go primarily for looks, cars, money, etc. You do not want such a woman. Women do go for confident, happy men. I would say...get over your self-consciousness about your body in two ways: exercise to get trim, and accept that your body and face are what they are. As Sweet Pea said, do NOT go for women because they have low self-esteem. Go for women you find attractive, which means not just physically, but the whole package. Is she a good person, do you think you would enjoy her company, do you like the way she looks, etc.? Some of this advice is pretty hard-core, but there are real nuggets of truth here: www.thedatingwizard.com/ and here: www.doubleyourdating.com/. |
|
|
|
Post by SilentShadow on Jul 21, 2004 14:49:44 GMT -5
As Sweet Pea said, do NOT go for women because they have low self-esteem. Go for women you find attractive, which means not just physically, but the whole package. Is she a good person, do you think you would enjoy her company, do you like the way she looks, etc.? I'm totally honest when I say I'm not looking for a girl with low self esteem, I just happen to like the "bigger" girls! If I can find someone who has a healthy esteem regardless of her chubbiness, that would be great for me. I just think I could do alot to help bring up the low self esteem of a girls who considers herself "fat and unattractive" I always thought of doing more exercise. I'm really not a big guy! I'm VERY short and thin... maybe I should eat more |
|
laura
New Member
Posts: 22
|
Post by laura on Jul 21, 2004 18:41:33 GMT -5
hey silent,
i know what u're going through. I think I'm unnatractive. I have gotten compliaments from people saying that I'm pretty but then 2 jerks from my school passed me one day in the hallway then i heard them whispered that " wow look at that ass, her boyfriend must be really lucky." but they have been jerks to me before and it was very obvious that they were being sarcastic. it really hurt my feelings becuase it's not like they said it to my face to make me angry but they siad it because thats what they really thought so u can imagine how low my selfesteem got. I mean it was already very low. but i hit a low and finally went to the dr.'s for anxiety/depression medicine. it's helped alot but i'm still not there. i need therapy. the only boyfriend i have ever had was in 7th grade and that was just a little kid thing. i really want a boyfriend but i live in a small town and the people are very clicky so i don't fit in. as far as driving i was terified to drive but then i worked up the coarage to drive on back roads. howerver i was terrified avery time a car came form the opposite direction. a few months later i got the coarage to drive home on a non-busy road. now i can drive in trafic. although at first i would get so upset when i din't feel comfortable turning and the people behind me got really angry i can now successfully drive in trafic. i hope to get my license soon. so i guess whjat i'm trying to say is u will never learn to drive if u don't try. the more u practice the better and more confident u will get. just take it step buy step and work ure way up. i think that ure not as unattractive as you think u are, it's all in ure head. just be yourself and help those that you think you can help (such as people with low self esteem) you will make new friends quickly a will friend a girl friend. good luck i hope i helped a little!
|
|
|
|
Post by SilentShadow on Jul 22, 2004 10:42:56 GMT -5
I always get upset when I hear stories about how some guys mistreat girls. Personally, I could NEVER bring myself to mistreat a girl, no matter how big or unattractive she is. It's jerks like that that give ALL guys a bad name. And I want all the girls who read this to understand that not all guys are big rude jerks.
Anyway, last night I went to a concert with my brother last night. While he was looking for a place to park he kept making fun of all the "larger" women and teenage girls. He'd say things like: "Wow, look at that one! she's got enough ass for the entire city!" It made me feel terrible. I consider these girls to be very beautiful and attractive. Nobody in my family knows I'm attracted to chubby girls (and my family doesn't like to talk about the whole dating thing, it's always been sorta "taboo" to them)
back when I was in high school, my friends would sometimes fool around and rate the girls that walked by. That always bothered me and made me feel uncomfortable!
It seems to me that it's always these jerk guys that are the first to find girlfriends. Although I consider myself to be a "nice guy" I don't think I could ever build up the courage to ask a girl out.
|
|
|
|
Post by canisay182 on Jul 22, 2004 14:02:44 GMT -5
And I want all the girls who read this to understand that not all guys are big rude jerks. oh good, im glad. maybe i just need to move . thats great that you cant mistreat people, i cant believe some of the stuff ive seen guys do. a lot of times the reason those guys get dates is they arent like that around girls they like. around girls they find attractive, theyre nice with confidence, where as around me theyre assholes with confidence. the more attractive girls dont see them being jerks. |
|
|
|
Post by losergeek1138 on Jul 22, 2004 23:18:51 GMT -5
part of it is also a function of age... well the way i see it is 80% of people are assholes. in high school, 90% of people are assholes. in middle school, 99.9% of people are assholes. (yeah i can get pretty cynical sometimes) |
|
, but I just decided to stop being someone I wasn't and it turns out alot of my other "macho jerk" friends were also very sensitive and caring! Only none of them ever acted that way in the company of other guys.
Good luck!