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Post by gaz on Oct 7, 2007 4:25:51 GMT -5
Why do some people feel the need to pressure people into finding a grirlfriend/boyfriend?
There's a lady who I work with who interfere's a bit too much into my life ''because she cares!''....If she really did care then she'd let me live my own life in my own time!
Once we had a French student who came to our work place for two weeks, and I hadn't even so much as introduced myself as I work in different room, and this lady had arranged for me to take her home to her lodgings after work in my car! Anyway I took her home because i felt obliged to do so. The next day at work she asked me ''So! How did it go?''......''You what?..Yeah I drove her home''....''So you didn't take her out?, that was the whole idea!''...For god's sake I drove her home because I was put on the spot, I didn't ask for this lady to hook me up with this girl who had only been in this country for a day!
On another occasion she told me that there was a speed dating event in a pub and that I should go! No offence to anyone who may have gone on one of these events but it all seems to be a cattle market, i mean what's the point you get a few minutes to get to know a potential partner before the bell rings and you go to the next! And at the end you get feedback to see how many were interested in you. It's bloody cheap and nasty that's what it is!
Is this the right section o'r should I posted under 'Rants'? lol ;D
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Post by lennythegiant on Oct 7, 2007 10:00:05 GMT -5
To be honest...I think you might be overreacting a little. I wish I had someone who would look out for me like that. I think it's pretty cool that she tried to get you to meet this girl. Even if you just got friendship out of it, or nothing out of it, at least she would have helped you meet a new person.
Also, the thing about speed dating, as at least you would have been putting yourself out there, even if it was only for minutes at a time with various people. It would have been a nice exercise in talking to people and getting comfortable around people, even if nothing else came of it. Suggesting an activity for someone is hardly "interfering" with someone's life.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Oct 8, 2007 0:35:57 GMT -5
i can relate to this one. geez...seems like you just can't tell people anything or it ends up halfway around the world with the speed of light.  |
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Post by skyhint on Oct 8, 2007 0:55:22 GMT -5
You are a good man Gaz. You know how you should and shouldnot act towards girls, I mean they are people too and want to be treated the same way you would.
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Post by gaz on Oct 9, 2007 14:10:34 GMT -5
To be honest...I think you might be overreacting a little. I wish I had someone who would look out for me like that. I think it's pretty cool that she tried to get you to meet this girl. Even if you just got friendship out of it, or nothing out of it, at least she would have helped you meet a new person. Also, the thing about speed dating, as at least you would have been putting yourself out there, even if it was only for minutes at a time with various people. It would have been a nice exercise in talking to people and getting comfortable around people, even if nothing else came of it. Suggesting an activity for someone is hardly "interfering" with someone's life. No i don't feel i am overreacting. I'm an independent person and I hate people trying to tell me what to do, ok i know I sometimes need a shove in the backside to give me encouragement but i'll do things in my own time. |
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Post by gaz on Oct 9, 2007 14:12:15 GMT -5
You are a good man Gaz. You know how you should and shouldnot act towards girls, I mean they are people too and want to be treated the same way you would. Yes i am a good guy, that's probably the only positive thing i can say about myself. |
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Post by lennythegiant on Oct 9, 2007 19:51:16 GMT -5
To be honest...I think you might be overreacting a little. I wish I had someone who would look out for me like that. I think it's pretty cool that she tried to get you to meet this girl. Even if you just got friendship out of it, or nothing out of it, at least she would have helped you meet a new person. Also, the thing about speed dating, as at least you would have been putting yourself out there, even if it was only for minutes at a time with various people. It would have been a nice exercise in talking to people and getting comfortable around people, even if nothing else came of it. Suggesting an activity for someone is hardly "interfering" with someone's life. No i don't feel i am overreacting. I'm an independent person and I hate people trying to tell me what to do, ok i know I sometimes need a shove in the backside to give me encouragement but i'll do things in my own time. Did she drag you kicking and screaming to the speed dating thing? If not, then I'd hardly call it "interfering with someone's life". She made a suggestion and was trying to help. It's nothing to get bent out of shape about. There are people who have no one that cares about them enough to try to help them out. I don't want to sound like a jerk, but I really don't see what the big deal is. If you don't want to try it, then fine, don't. No one is going to force you to try to be more social. I just think that instead of complaining about someone trying to help you, you should be happy that someone thinks enough of you to try to help you, regardless of whether you take their advice or not. |
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Post by gaz on Oct 10, 2007 13:32:03 GMT -5
No i don't feel i am overreacting. I'm an independent person and I hate people trying to tell me what to do, ok i know I sometimes need a shove in the backside to give me encouragement but i'll do things in my own time. Did she drag you kicking and screaming to the speed dating thing? If not, then I'd hardly call it "interfering with someone's life". She made a suggestion and was trying to help. It's nothing to get bent out of shape about. There are people who have no one that cares about them enough to try to help them out. I don't want to sound like a jerk, but I really don't see what the big deal is. If you don't want to try it, then fine, don't. No one is going to force you to try to be more social. I just think that instead of complaining about someone trying to help you, you should be happy that someone thinks enough of you to try to help you, regardless of whether you take their advice or not. Ok I'll shut my mouth in future.  |
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Post by lennythegiant on Oct 10, 2007 14:03:04 GMT -5
Did she drag you kicking and screaming to the speed dating thing? If not, then I'd hardly call it "interfering with someone's life". She made a suggestion and was trying to help. It's nothing to get bent out of shape about. There are people who have no one that cares about them enough to try to help them out. I don't want to sound like a jerk, but I really don't see what the big deal is. If you don't want to try it, then fine, don't. No one is going to force you to try to be more social. I just think that instead of complaining about someone trying to help you, you should be happy that someone thinks enough of you to try to help you, regardless of whether you take their advice or not. Ok I'll shut my mouth in future. No...go ahead and vent if you feel you have to...I just don't see what the big deal is. In a couple of years I'll probably be desperate enough to give the speed dating thing a shot. Plus it would be great if I knew someone that wanted to help out, even if I didn't like their advice. Most people don't really give a shit. |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Oct 10, 2007 18:48:13 GMT -5
To be honest...I think you might be overreacting a little. I wish I had someone who would look out for me like that. I think it's pretty cool that she tried to get you to meet this girl. Even if you just got friendship out of it, or nothing out of it, at least she would have helped you meet a new person. Also, the thing about speed dating, as at least you would have been putting yourself out there, even if it was only for minutes at a time with various people. It would have been a nice exercise in talking to people and getting comfortable around people, even if nothing else came of it. Suggesting an activity for someone is hardly "interfering" with someone's life. No i don't feel i am overreacting. I'm an independent person and I hate people trying to tell me what to do, ok i know I sometimes need a shove in the backside to give me encouragement but i'll do things in my own time. i hear that...and besides...i have very particular tastes and it doesn't do anybody any good to try to choose for me. i'd just prefer they stay out of my private business unless i ask for something. |
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Post by phoenixferret on Oct 10, 2007 22:16:07 GMT -5
Did she drag you kicking and screaming to the speed dating thing? If not, then I'd hardly call it "interfering with someone's life". She made a suggestion and was trying to help. It's nothing to get bent out of shape about. There are people who have no one that cares about them enough to try to help them out. I don't want to sound like a jerk, but I really don't see what the big deal is. If you don't want to try it, then fine, don't. No one is going to force you to try to be more social. I just think that instead of complaining about someone trying to help you, you should be happy that someone thinks enough of you to try to help you, regardless of whether you take their advice or not. Ok I'll shut my mouth in future. I think LennyTG makes a good point, and the point isn't that you should shut your mouth... It just seems like you take an overly negative view of a lot of people and things that perhaps shouldn't be so outrageous. And looking at the world that way can make things feel a lot more hostile than they are. Someone trying to hook you up on a date may be irritating, but it's also nice that this woman does care enough about you to try to help you out. And she obviously doesn't think you're a freak or a weirdo as I think you've mentioned others doing in the past--she thinks you can get a girl (and a relationship) quite easily, evidently. I don't think the speed dating thing is "cheap and nasty," either, so I don't see it as insulting that she mentioned it to you; it's just a chance to get a little taste of conversation with the opposite sex, as much as if you met by chance in a line at the bank or something. I've never done it, and I'm not saying you should, but you seemed to think it was insulting on top of being annoying... I just think it wasn't really. And personally, I definitely would have taken it as a compliment if anyone had wanted to set me up when I was single, even if I didn't want to take advantage of it. I mean, if it was some guy I thought was disgusting or stupid, then I would definitely be insulted, but otherwise... *shrug.* Personally I'd rather have someone care about me in a sometimes irritating way, than not care about me in a completely un-irritating way. |
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Oct 12, 2007 16:37:56 GMT -5
You hear many shy people talk about how nobody understands them or gives them a chance and this friend is trying to help.
If you think about it, if you were going to do these things on your own, you most likely would have done them by now but haven't because of shyness so a push from a non shy friend is a nice gesture even though it may not seem like it.
Instead of being negative about it, why not just try it once. If you don't like it you don't have to do it again. If she wants to fix you up on a date let her. Many people do that. Meet someone through friends and being fixed up.
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Post by urbanspaceman on Oct 12, 2007 18:15:12 GMT -5
I do get this myself a fair bit where I work, wanting to find me a nice girl and all that.....  I've always thought my best chance would be meeting someone through a friend/workmate, as I suppose that gives you something to talk about initially, positively or negatively I guess, lol. And I completely understand the feeling of not wanting anyone to interfere in what is quite rightly your private life. But as many have said, and the way I think in my own situation, is that giving it some consideration can't do any harm at all. I know in my case that what is said is meant in a kind way, and because I get on well with the people I work with. So I guess I'd be quite happy if it was suggested to me to talk to a certain person and see if they fancied doing something? As I'm pretty much clueless on my own, and can quite frankly do with all the help I can get with that side of my life. Anyways, I wish you the best of luck with this mate  |
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Post by lennythegiant on Oct 14, 2007 14:26:06 GMT -5
I had a friend at school who used to push me to do some things like go dancing and whatnot. They can be a positive influence on your life if you let them and keep an open mind. It wasn't like I did everything they suggested, but I gave their suggestions some serious consideration. Having someone else tell me I could do these things and be successful at them was sort of a confidence boost. Now that school's done I don't see them anymore, now I gotta figure out how I'm going to do this stuff on my own. I'm still thankful for that person though, because if I hadn't met them I'd probably still feel like I was a worthless social outcast.
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konnor
Junior Member
Posts: 90
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Post by konnor on Oct 22, 2007 15:00:22 GMT -5
The best thing I had up until a year ago was a 'system' to keep pushing me along. Whether its my parents encouraging me to do stuff or a degree to work towards or friends back in high school asking girls out for me (and getting the odd yes!). I struggle to maintain that now im very lonely in a job without anything/anyone to push me.
I agree it can be a catch 22 at times. Annoying people can annoy you, but then when they take the hint and are gone you miss the social interaction. I know i'm certainly guilty of it. I try nowadays to see past people flaws and get to the bare bones of just whether they are interested in talking to me. If they are more than likely id like to be friends.
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