To shy to go to the doctor

[Paul]

I know this will sound stupid but i have never been to my doctor about my shyness and deppresion, everytime i think about gong to see him I convince myself that he will just tell me that i am being silly and that there is nothing wrong with me. Part of me knows that he would not do such a thing, but knowing this dosent make it any easier for me to just go and maybe get some help. I know that i need help and if continue as i am i will probrably not live all that long, I know that sounds overly dramatic but it is how i feel.
Anyway any advice as to how i could overcome this problem would be most welcome.

[moogle]

this was a problem with me too. what got me to finally go to a therapist (other than the fact that she was my mom's friend - that really helped, as i didn't feel quite as shy), was that i actually had a problem to discuss. i didn't go in looking to discuss my depression, i had something specific to talk about (the fact that i felt trapped in my relationship with my boyfriend at the time). her advice with that helped me, and when i decided i really needed help with the depression, i felt more comfortable going to her.
i don't know if this helps, but i hope it does. good luck.

[Twice-Shy]

Boys in general are a lot less reluctant to go and see a doctor than girls. When I went to see him about getting some anti depressants I changed my mind a couple of times and made up stories about looking gel for my knee. In the end I just told him my real problems. A good doctor won't ever think you silly. If your doctor sends you away without dealing with the problem seriously you should change your doctor. We have two doctors in our practice - one young and one old. The old one is an old stuck in the mud but I have found that the younger one in far more approachable and up more empathetic. I only go when I know the younger one is holding court.

[NewOrleansLady]

Whenever I get overwhelmed with my shyness, and sometimes depression, I usually, late at night, psych myself up to calling the doctor for an appointment and never do. The next day, when I told myself I was going to call, I convince myself that I'm not that bad off. I don't want to tell my friends and family that I think that I might need a doctor and also wonder how I am going to pay for it. My parents would probably pay if I could just tell them. I know that I should at least make an appointment just to chat with a doctor and see what he/she has to say.
The best thing I can tell you is to just force yourself to do it. They deal with this situation everyday and would definitly not think that you are any different.
I usually don't take any medication for colds and stuff like that (just vitamins) so I am also afraid of how any medication for social anxiety would affect me. Although, I've often wondered how different a person I would be on a drug to help with my social anxiety.

[Paul]

Well i finally got up the courage to go to see my doctor, i got there and tried to explain what i felt was wrong with me, i didnt do a very good job cos i was so nervous. Anyway basically he asked me some questions, then said "What do u expect me to do?", this threw me even more off balcance and i basically just shruged and mumbled somethin that sounded vaguely like "dunno". in te end after hed made me feel even more like shit, he said he would refer me to the community mental health team (not heard a thing from them so far). When i left i felt just as bad, if not worse, than when id got there, i know it was totally unrealistic for me to expect him to do somethin which could help straight away, but i cant help feel really angry at the way things went.

Anyway if anyone could tell me what happened when they went to the doctor about shyness and deppresion it would be good cos it might help know me what to expect to happen.

[moogle]

i'm sorry your first visit went so bad
but, you really should have an idea of what you want when you go to the doc, though it's really something as simple as are you looking for counseling or drugs? because psychiatrist will pretty much only give you drugs. if you're looking for someone to talk to about your situation and to help you with the process of getting better, you want a psychologist or therapist.
that's how i started out. i was going to a psychologist and eventually we decided to try drugs, so she referred me to a phychiatrist. i went and she asked me a bunch of questions to determine how bad my depression was and what kind i had and then she perscribed me drugs.
i hope this helps.

[cellardoor]

Paul said:

Well i finally got up the courage to go to see my doctor, i got there and tried to explain what i felt was wrong with me, i didnt do a very good job cos i was so nervous. Anyway basically he asked me some questions, then said "What do u expect me to do?", this threw me even more off balcance and i basically just shruged and mumbled somethin that sounded vaguely like "dunno". in te end after hed made me feel even more like nuts, he said he would refer me to the community mental health team (not heard a thing from them so far). When i left i felt just as bad, if not worse, than when id got there, i know it was totally unrealistic for me to expect him to do somethin which could help straight away, but i cant help feel really angry at the way things went.

Anyway if anyone could tell me what happened when they went to the doctor about shyness and deppresion it would be good cos it might help know me what to expect to happen.

hello Paul
i'm sorry about your experience with the doctor. Two years ago, i believed i was dying, and put off going to the doctor. i finally made an appointment so that i could finalise things and make some preparations for the future of my parents (who are very ill) in the event that i would not be around to care for them. After undergoing many and various tests, it was discovered that i had no life-threatening physical illness. i was devastated, and the general practitioner said this was not a normal reaction to such news. To me, it was like the light at the end of my tunnel was extinguished. She put me on a series of different antidepressants (none of which worked, some of which had severe side-effects). She also organised for me to see a psychologist due to my depression and social phobia. She wrote a letter of referral. i was sick with anxiety about attending the psychologist's sessions, but did attend them. the sessions were distressing to me, the anticipatory lead-up anxiety, the anxiety during the sessions and even the follow-up anxiety. Midway through the sessions, i was asked to participate in group therapy sessions. i was sick with anxiety about them during the week that i had prior to attending the first one and physically sick in the carpark before going in. i didn't return to any of the other group sessions, but at least i went to the first one. My psychologist said that was very brave on my part to have at least done that, and that i wasn't ready for such counselling yet.
Despite the four months of weekly one-on-one counselling, i was unable to change my thinking at all. Following the sessions where she'd attempt to get me to do homework tasks involving me writing down a list of things i like about myself, i'd go home and launch into my own verbal attack of the many reasons i hate myself until i'd exhaust myself in tears and distress.
i'd tell her all the time i didn't want to talk about myself, that it made me uncomfortable and apologise for being a failure to her, that it wasn't her fault, that it was mine.
She got my doctor to write another letter of referral to a psychiatrist to attempt to find an antidepressant because the talk therapy wasn't working. She suggested the right antidepressant may help it along. i was extremely uncomfortable with the psychiatrist and the two antidepressants she prescribed did not produce a positive effect either. i used to cancel appointments, until eventually i just stopped seeing her at all.
My psychologist eventually left due to her impending baby and asked me to find another psychologist. Due to the very nature of social phobia, i was unable to do that.
At the beginning of this year, i made an appointment with another gp because the depression and social phobia were threatening to overwhelm me. Having researched medication online i wished to try benzos to at least be able to get through the everyday things which needed to be done to exist in life. i was extremely nervous and gave the doctor a list of the antidepressants i had tried. i expressed an inability to function adequately. She gave me a letter of referral to a psychiatrist listing severe social phobia and depression. She prescribed two medications. One of those was a medication i'd written on my list as having been ineffective during a previous course operating under a different brand name. The other was a sleeping tablet. When i attempted to telephone the office of the psychiatrist she referred me to i got an answering machine message. i am not comfortable with answering machines and attempted to make contact several times over the next two weeks, each time receiving the answering machine message in response. i eventually gave up. The whole visit to that doctor was a waste, and filled with anxiety, to such a degree that trying again has not been possible for me in the four months since i saw her.
i'm sorry i don't have positive stories to tell you, but i guess from my own experiences, i have some advice that might be worthwhile to you, depending on how able you are to go through with it. Making the appointment is difficult enough, and to others who take such things for granted, it might seem silly, but i understand completely where you're coming from. The anxiety is paralysing.
You need to see a general practitioner. Select one according to the gender you feel comfortable with. Think about the location of the gp before you make the appointment. Do you feel comfortable with a larger practice or a smaller one? Have what you wish to say to the receptionist prepared beforehand. For the actual appointment, arm yourself with some knowledge before you go along. Do some research on the medications available for example and decide if that's the road you wish to travel. Perhaps even do some online self-tests at the various social anxiety sites etc to decide whether you possess some of the traits and characteristics common to that illness. If you feel uncomfortable about discussing it with the doctor, or simply can't due to the overwhelming anxiety provoked by speaking to a stranger, make a written list detailing some of the difficulties you face, even using some of the characteristics listed on social anxiety/depression websites, so that you can hand that to the doctor on your visit. If you wish to attend some kind of counselling, ask the doctor to help you locate an appropriate specialist. The doctor will be compelled to do this, it's part of their job. Ask for a letter of referral which will make the initial visit to the psychologist easier in that you will have a piece of paper from a doctor to help state the basics. It will give you a sense of having a right to be there. It will also help to 'break the ice'. If you are wishing to see a psychiatrist, your doctor will need to write a referral letter. Some doctors are even able to make the initial phone contact and organise the first appointment. That largely depends on the doctor you see. One thing to bear in mind is that you have every right to be seeking some kind of help and it shows a lot of courage on your part to do so. Your first doctor sounds basically negligent and completely untrained in any aspect of mental health. Don't let that one experience put you off.
Don't waste the opportunity to live, by merely existing. You have hope for something better, don't give up on it.
Take care.