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Post by Agravein on Jan 11, 2004 14:51:22 GMT -5
I don't have any problem with eye contact, I can even flirt with my eyes It's the speaking part I have a problem with, I'm also wery prone to blush and to crack up in my woice (speaking with girls not guys : It's not regarded especialy masculin when it sound like I'm going to cry any moment it's extremly embaresing.
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Post by prawnie on Jan 11, 2004 17:35:13 GMT -5
i find the more nervous i get, the worse i am, i start to stutter, get my words muddles
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Post by glenn miller on Jan 13, 2004 13:43:14 GMT -5
i have a hard time with eye contact. and talking to people. since have been small.
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Post by EdgedInBlue on Jan 13, 2004 16:02:46 GMT -5
I find making eye contact very difficult.
Tell me if this is odd, but when I make eye contact with a person, I feel as if I'm being intrusive or that this person thinks I'm looking at them in a sexual way. It feels almost shameful.
Does anybody else feel this way or am I truly an wack job?
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Post by spitzig on Jan 13, 2004 21:54:24 GMT -5
I find making eye contact very difficult. Tell me if this is odd, but when I make eye contact with a person, I feel as if I'm being intrusive or that this person thinks I'm looking at them in a sexual way. It feels almost shameful. Does anybody else feel this way or am I truly an wack job? I can't say whether you're a wack job, but I have the same reaction. Embarrassed would be a better word than shameful, though. Of course, eye contact rarely leads to actually conversation, anyway. If I'm a wack job, I think it's one of my better points, though(well, usually).
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Post by ecstacyoffleas on Jan 24, 2004 4:38:27 GMT -5
I agree. I have noticed when I am talking to people I am very comfortable with, upon reflecting later, I remember not even thinking about eye contact, it just occured naturally. But when I am nervous, I have noticed how it is difficult to look into people's eyes and especially this: I become fixated on the uncomfortableness of feeling like I am only looking at one eyeball- anyone else feel this? I feel like I can't look at both at the same time, or maybe that looking at a single eyeball is normal, but when I am shy, I am afraid the person can tell my eyes are shifting too much to one side, looking at their one eyeball, and then they can therefore tell I am nervous. Really weird, doesn't happen too much, just occasionally when I am close to someone.
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HAZE
New Member
Posts: 29
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Post by HAZE on Jan 29, 2004 14:13:48 GMT -5
i can only focus on one eye sometimes aswell
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Post by greggie on Feb 2, 2004 2:33:03 GMT -5
carygrant, i guess i should try that, it would shun away some of my self consciousness
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Post by Dave on Mar 2, 2004 10:59:35 GMT -5
I find looking people in the eye very difficult. I'm always terrified they'll discover things about me that I don't want them to see. Its funny but I can look strangers in the eyes moreso than people I am more familiar with. I find that aswell...I also find I'm a lot less shy when I'm talking to someone promoting something on the telephone or with a shop keeper because I know I will never speak to them again and don't have to worry about how I appear to them!
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Post by PetrifiedRocker on Mar 2, 2004 11:31:24 GMT -5
^^^ That was me posting btw!
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Ghost
Full Member
Posts: 220
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Post by Ghost on Mar 2, 2004 12:16:55 GMT -5
Welcome Rocker I never have trouble with looking someone in the eyes, unless I start to think of it conscious. It's just a automatic thing to me, but as I wrote, if I start thinking about it and noticing if I stare or blink too much or if I look in both of their eyes, I do have some difficulty to keep my focus at the conversation and how I look. The best way for me is to focus at the conversation or try to surpress those thoughts, so it goes natural again. But I have rare those problems. Only had it when someone is peering intense and close by.
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Orlando
New Member
My spelling stinks and my grammer is horrible but, what the heck, I have good health!
Posts: 16
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Post by Orlando on Mar 13, 2004 15:32:15 GMT -5
Eye contact is still a problem for me too.
At one point in high school, I could only look down at my feet. Instead of talking to people, I would talk to their feet. Embarrassing.
However, now, I'm getting a little better at it. However, the talking needs a little 'tweeking.'
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Post by Jarous on Mar 14, 2004 7:53:58 GMT -5
Eye contact is difficult, but it can be done - especially if you follow the advice on this site. Concentrating on the spot between the other's eyes was really helpful for me.
But how do you maintain eye contact when eating with people? I find it embarrassing both to talk staring at the table and looking at the person while he eats. Of course you usually stop eating when saying something but that's not always the case - and just waiting for the right moment (between mouthfuls) to add something only adds to the anxiety.
Do you have some helpful tricks for such occassions?
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B
New Member
Posts: 32
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Post by B on Mar 14, 2004 13:52:23 GMT -5
The first job I had I got when I was 16. My boss told my mother I got the job because of the 4 students who had applied and gotten an interview, I was the only one who kept eye contract. The second job I got a few years later and the woman who had interviewed me told me that I had been really impressive in the interview because I sat up straight and managed to look her straight in the eye the whole time. She felt I was honest, had nothing to hide, and would be great with customers. I've had several other people comment on it (bosses and supervisors, mostly).
Thing is, I was looking at their mouths. I have never been able to maintain eye contact without mentally blanking out. Doesn't matter. Unless you lean right into their face, staring at their mouth and slobbering a little, they're not gonna notice.
Sure, it's not REALLY eye contact...but whatever works.
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Post by 2_Shy_4_My_Own_Good on Jul 3, 2004 22:29:57 GMT -5
i think i've been shy for so long that i usually just look down automatically! i try to look up but before i know it i'm looking right back down again!
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