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Post by Alecto on Apr 19, 2004 15:48:29 GMT -5
I'm not exactly fine with being quiet, I just usually say the second one more often because its nicer to say
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Post by spitzig on Apr 19, 2004 22:25:41 GMT -5
Bashfulme, I will invite you to my country one day. The situation is totally opposite. Over there, quiet people have more chances to be welcomed (and accepted) than loud talkers. I've seriously considered moving to China for that reason. I have several Chinese guys in classes, so that might help, since they might move back after graduation.
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Post by Japanese on Apr 20, 2004 1:28:14 GMT -5
I don't know much about China, but at least in my country there are of course some things you wouldn't like at all in terms of social interaction. I just didn't mention them. ;D One thing I like about American culture in terms of social interaction is, you can say "hi" to total strangers on the street or wherever. (Well, it depends on who and where, of course, though.) For a long time I was a yard & garden worker in this town. Sometimes people who happened to walk by near my work said, "Hey, nice job" or "Good morning!" This really made my day. I know I will miss it once I am back in my country. Anyway, last week, I had a chance to meet some people who have visited Japan and love the culture (one of them seriously said she wanted to be a Japanese!). I have to say, that was an extremely comfortable and nice meeting. They were all Americans, but the meeting was a very nice blend of "Eastern" and "Western" ways of communication. Nobody cut off anyone's speech in the middle, everyone carefully listened to each other, yet the whole discussion was very active and alive.
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Post by spitzig on Apr 21, 2004 1:49:24 GMT -5
I don't know much about China, but at least in my country there are of course some things you wouldn't like at all in terms of social interaction. I just didn't mention them. One thing I like about American culture in terms of social interaction is, you can say "hi" to total strangers on the street or wherever. (Well, it depends on who and where, of course, though.) For a long time I was a yard & garden worker in this town. Sometimes people who happened to walk by near my work said, "Hey, nice job" or "Good morning!" This really made my day. Well, I know that no place is ideal. But, the culture might at least turn my negative characteristic into a positive one. I might get a date every once in a while. Greeting strangers on the street like that doesn't seem very useful, though. I've never had a conversation with someone passing on the street after saying "hi".
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Post by CaryGrant on Apr 21, 2004 10:27:16 GMT -5
Spitzig - lots of guys teach English overseas and get tons and tons of dates. It's not just poor countries, either - guys in Japan do very well, apparently. You would still have to ask them out, though. At the same time, I have heard that it is very hard to fit in - few cultures are as accepting of foreigners as we are in the West.
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Post by Blueeyes on Jun 26, 2004 17:11:31 GMT -5
Hi, Just been reading all ur postings, I am shy also. but when people say 'oh your quiet'. I think they don't mean any harm in it. It is usually because they want to include you in the conversation and sometimes it provides the perfect opportunity to give ya the confidence for you to give your own input into the conversation. Well just thought I would throw that out there. Blueeyes
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Post by Nikki on Jun 27, 2004 21:25:11 GMT -5
Someone once told me, "You are too quiet for me!" and it made me feel like she was saying that she could not be comfortable in my presence. Maybe this is the way it is for many, because talking, holding conversation puts people at ease. It is just more comfortable for me if I am quiet and the observer in most situations.
On the other hand, extroverts recognize the valuable contributions that us introverts can make. For example, we had a retirement party for a teacher who everyone said was very quiet and never liked being the center of attention. She was very quiet, but was praised for the contributions that she made behind the scenes. She was very well loved and respected and after this a teacher who knows that I am shy said to me smiling, "She's just lke another person I know!"
I don't know. I think that most of what goes on with me is the pain that I feel in maybe being too sensitive or internalizing the negative comments instead of the positive comments. Also, I hate being shy, but I love being quiet, if that makes sense!
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Post by Boblouie58 on Jun 28, 2004 0:19:54 GMT -5
Yes, I run into this and I tell people about my shyness and being quite. But people who have recently met me say there is no way I could have ever been quite as they see me as being fairly outgoing. What you see now is certainly not how I was say 10 years ago, but they are more interested in the present and not the past. So, I can be quite or I can be outgoing. It just depends on where I am and what the circumstances are.
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