|
Post by anothershy1 on May 31, 2005 15:47:55 GMT -5
OK so here this goes, new & first post here. There was this girl I spent two years working with and we always got on well I could lock and hold eye contact sometimes which is not normal for me and it never made me feel uncomfortable. She would some time call me across the floor for something and nothing, I always used to make excuses to go and see her working in IT does have some good points? Anyway she always used to ask me why I wasn't at events (not sure if she was looking for me or what) and been shy gave the quick easy answer 'not my scene' or something just as bad or worse anyway she left. However, she did give her mobile number out and email. We did exchange an email or 2 but then I stopped emailing her as I didn't know what to say or if I should ask her to lunch. Guess my question here is should I call her? if so what do I say Hi, it's ........ we worked at the same company a while ago and only just decided to get over myself. I know it's very likely she is with someone or I have missed my chance but at the moment it is killing me not knowing what to do every time I look at this number it's nice to see I am not the only one this been twenty something thinking something is wrong with me..........
Thanks for any advice
|
|
|
Post by ShySoul on May 31, 2005 18:13:21 GMT -5
Speaking, as some who has been in the same boat see my post! (If you read it do not get disheartened.)
You might have missed the boat, on the other hand it may still be waiting to set sail. You have to go for it, otherwise, you will spend the rest of your life, wondering what might have been.
I have seen other people flit at work and only when the guy has asked the girl did she say sorry I do not feel that way.
So phone email, Writer her a letter but how ever you make contact go out there and make contact Not knowing is far worse, then knowing answer is no.
|
|
|
Post by Speedracer on Jun 1, 2005 4:08:36 GMT -5
i would give her a call if you have the number. i wouldnt email...theres always the possibility she wont check her email or just never get it.
|
|
|
Post by anothershy1 on Jun 1, 2005 15:46:10 GMT -5
Thanks for the response guys I keep thinking everyday I am going to do this but may need one or two drinks first. When do you reckon lunchtime or evening to ring any days to avoid?
|
|
|
Post by zaab on Jun 1, 2005 16:23:33 GMT -5
Thanks for the response guys I keep thinking everyday I am going to do this but may need one or two drinks first. When do you reckon lunchtime or evening to ring any days to avoid? You're probably joking about taking drinks, but if you aren't try not to do it this way. You'll hand the credit over to the alchohol instead of giving yourself the accolades you richly deserve. You'll feel much better if you do everything completely sober and you'll know you'll be capable of it the next time. And I don't think there is an optimum time to call, not too late, not too early, not during any dinner times. That's the only times to avoid. Otherwise don't fall into the trap of falsely reasoning with yourself that such and such a time is not good because...these are just excuses to avoid something you're a little afraid of. D yourself a favor and pick a strict time and day to call and then dial up the phone without a second thought. Perhaps do a little planning about what you're going to say and even think abou how long you want to talk and end the convo at that time limit as a way of lessening the chance of awkwardness. Do it and don't make excuses.
|
|
|
Post by anothershy1 on Jun 1, 2005 16:28:40 GMT -5
No I wasn't otherwise I don't think I would ever do it! How bad do I sound now I am not talking about drinking loads just somthing to calm me down.
|
|
|
Post by zaab on Jun 1, 2005 16:35:03 GMT -5
No I wasn't otherwise I don't think I would ever do it! How bad do I sound now I am not talking about drinking loads just somthing to calm me down. Do you have any other things you do to help you relax? Anything else would be preferable to drinking.
|
|
|
Post by anothershy1 on Jun 1, 2005 16:37:50 GMT -5
Not when it comes to these sort of things
|
|
|
Post by zaab on Jun 1, 2005 17:14:43 GMT -5
So everything else you tried to relax has failed? Exercise, yoga, meditation, hot shower, walk in the park, etc? Taking a drink is definitely better than not doing it at all, but it would be cool if you could gradually get yourself off that habit. It might be helping you less than you think anyway.
|
|
|
Post by anothershy1 on Jun 3, 2005 18:31:02 GMT -5
Question is though what do I say if she asks why has it taken me so long to speak up and why now because it has been lon time since we last saw each other / spoke.
|
|
|
Post by Paulinus on Jun 3, 2005 18:38:08 GMT -5
Question is though what do I say if she asks why has it taken me so long to speak up and why now because it has been lon time since we last saw each other / spoke. Why not tell the truth, if she cant accept your shyness then any possible relationship is not going to work anyway.
|
|
|
Post by anothershy1 on Jun 4, 2005 14:25:58 GMT -5
Yes, totally so I have now decided to ring Sunday afternoon giving me sometime to work out what to say and she hopefully won't be in the middle of anything (maybe recovering from a hangover) so we have time to talk figuring she does not hang up on me.
Shysoul I did read your post were you really pleased with yourself for getting over yourself and doing it? Did it become easier after that? To speak to women and ask them to dinner or somthing??
|
|
|
Post by kismet on Jun 10, 2005 14:50:34 GMT -5
Question is though what do I say if she asks why has it taken me so long to speak up and why now because it has been lon time since we last saw each other / spoke. Could you say something like, "I thought you would be busy settling into your new job, so I waited"? If she asks what took you so long, that's a sign that the door is open -- she wanted to hear from you -- so it's safe to suggest that you've been thinking of phoning her. What's ideal about this situation is that you used to work together so you'll have that in common. You can always start out by exchanging stories about work or coworkers if you want.
|
|
|
Post by Crashtastic on Jun 10, 2005 15:04:25 GMT -5
Hey there is always drugs ;D
|
|
|
Post by anothershy1 on Jun 10, 2005 17:52:49 GMT -5
That wouldn' t really do anything
|
|