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Post by Sigh on Mar 28, 2006 9:56:58 GMT -5
Disclaimer: This is for amusement purposes only Clicky hereFound mine rather amusing lol
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Post by gSteve on Mar 28, 2006 14:56:52 GMT -5
Sun in Libra: Libra - Key words: Head in the clouds, while falling off a cliff " Fly me to the moon" is the motto of this air sign. "If we aren't going to get married, let me know now, I have a date tomorrow", says the impatient Libra. Libra is the chemical parent of Librium, a tranquilizer which, by the way, is a wonderful way of not caring about anything. Librans have a talent for nastiness at times, and can swear so fluently that is frightens everyone, but then again, everyone has their niche in life. Do you need someone unreliable who is not able to keep a secret? Count on a Libra native to spill the beans every time! Libra people are very easy to spot, as these are the people who can be looking straight at you, and not hear a word that you say, or care! Try to be kind to them, as they spend so much time in another realm that few of us ever see, that they forget about the mundane things of life, like reality.
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Post by Crashtastic on Mar 28, 2006 16:16:45 GMT -5
Capricorn - Key Words: The analytical constipated mind
Persuading Capricorns to make love has to be done under hypnosis, otherwise it is a fruitless endeavor. In fact, when choosing a long time relationship Capricorn, choose someone who has been dead for at least 50 years. Capricorns are so controlled, that they may actually die a statue, trouble is, no one may know the difference. The author of this whimsy was married to a Capricorn lady once, and being a Leo I was interested in my performance in that very intimate moment. To make a long story short, as I looked at my Capricorn mate in bed afterwards, I actually thought she had passed away. It was difficult to distinguish life from lifelessness at that moment. This summed up intimacy and marriage to a Capricorn.
The Capricorn's lovemaking technique has all of the warmth of an iceberg, but good news, if they held onto their partner in lovemaking like they do their career, they would get the academy award for sensuality. Don't worry though, it'll never happen. In business, arguments, relationships or career, Capricorns would never enter into anything that they have the slightest possibility of losing at.
If you want to completely screw up the Capricorn mind, give them a computer for their birthday, or go away and "forget" to leave instructions for the food processor, microwave, washing machine or dryer. Try to tape it for future reference, as the laughs will be precious as their analytical minds try to unboggle the mysteries of DOS in computers, or Convection in Microwaves.
Its Crap! ....complete crap.
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Post by Tal on Mar 28, 2006 16:22:21 GMT -5
Sun in Gemini: Gemini - Key Words: The Sinister and the Minister "The flake on a mission, or the flake without a mission. Who is to say?" Gemini's are just their own kind of person. Now what is wrong with that I ask you? Gemini's may find their mark in life with the help of a seeing eye dog, then shoot the dog for knowing more than them. You can always tell a bored Gemini by the disgusted look on their face while making love the same way, over and over again. The "recreational love making sign" is what we call Gemini natives, because they treat making love like a vacation. Why go away from home Gemini, when you can have it your way, any day? Love making is not enough by themselves, they must do it with their friends. That is to say he or she must be a friend to the Gemini. Yeah, that's it! To say that Gemini natives are nervous is an understatement, as they must be busy doing at least 7 things all at the same time. They need that pressure and stress to keep them going, its like being high on Helium, ALL THE TIME! haha, surprisingly accurate .. except for the last bit..
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Post by lowselfesteem on Mar 29, 2006 4:04:00 GMT -5
Aaarrrggghhhh! I went through all the pages putting all the details in, clicked on the button to read mine and... !BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!
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Post by theinfiniteabyss84 on Mar 30, 2006 3:00:54 GMT -5
Sun in Pisces:
Pisces - Key Words: Perfecting the Art of Masochism & Compassion. Kind of a "Do your worst to me, I can take it attitude" while signing their will over to you.
A typical Pisces patient having an internal at the Doctor's office. "I said more pain! I deserve it and I want it now!". Pisces uses the Phrase "I Love you" like people inquiring if you put on clean underwear in case you were in an accident. It has no meaning, it just seems like the natural thing to say.
Don't be alarmed if a Pisces puts you under verbal attack, it is just their way of asking you to excuse them, because they either have something better to do, or someone to do it with. Then again, they may just want to be alone, and a front line verbal attack assures that the insult will justify you leaving. Pisces is the most giving person in the Zodiac, and to prove it, they will give to you, and you and you!
~i.a.
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Mar 30, 2006 4:09:11 GMT -5
Sun in Leo:
Leo: Key Words: How great thou Art! What more needs to be said?
" I did it for you, what do you mean you won't do it for me?", says the unappreciated Leo. That sums up the main characteristics of the Leo native, except they need to communicate without the use of a sledge hammer to bring their point across. Find out more with your full-length reading...
Positive attributes for Leo natives is that they don't carry grudges in any situation, it is too much of an effort, instead Leo's carry coolers full of party favors around with them at all times, just in case an opportunity for fun and amusement comes up, and oh yes, Leo's talk very loud. Leos hate to compete, mainly because they are having too good a time and prefer doing nothing. It's an automatic "You win, let's party" situation. Find out more with your full-length reading...
Leo's will spend every dime they have and some they don't have (on the old credit cards) to make an impression on this weeks love God or Goddess. In some instances (more than not) the Leo's search for romance and conquering proves very expensive, and very unsatisfying, if at takes place at all! The Leo male will find it amazing that they bring candy, flowers and all the niceties on a date or other informal setting and don't score, or their expectations are shot down, and then the same object of this Leo's affections will go out with the first person who mistreats them (figuratively) and maul them like a tigress making love for the very first time. It just baffles the Leo mind, but still he/she never gives up the persuit of whatever they are pursuing? Find out more with your full-length reading...
meh
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Post by nats on Mar 30, 2006 8:25:34 GMT -5
Sun in Capricorn: Capricorn - Key Words: The analytical constipated mind Persuading Capricorns to make love has to be done under hypnosis, otherwise it is a fruitless endeavor. In fact, when choosing a long time relationship Capricorn, choose someone who has been dead for at least 50 years. Capricorns are so controlled, that they may actually die a statue, trouble is, no one may know the difference. The author of this whimsy was married to a Capricorn lady once, and being a Leo I was interested in my performance in that very intimate moment. To make a long story short, as I looked at my Capricorn mate in bed afterwards, I actually thought she had passed away. It was difficult to distinguish life from lifelessness at that moment. This summed up intimacy and marriage to a Capricorn. Find out more with your full-length reading... The Capricorn's lovemaking technique has all of the warmth of an iceberg, but good news, if they held onto their partner in lovemaking like they do their career, they would get the academy award for sensuality. Don't worry though, it'll never happen. In business, arguments, relationships or career, Capricorns would never enter into anything that they have the slightest possibility of losing at. Find out more with your full-length reading... If you want to completely screw up the Capricorn mind, give them a computer for their birthday, or go away and "forget" to leave instructions for the food processor, microwave, washing machine or dryer. Try to tape it for future reference, as the laughs will be precious as their analytical minds try to unboggle the mysteries of DOS in computers, or Convection in Microwaves. Find out more with your full-length reading... blah, don't like mine
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Post by confusedgirl on Mar 31, 2006 0:03:01 GMT -5
Sun in Aquarius:
Aquarius - Key Words: "I Love You All. . . kind of!"
" I love everybody, just don't bug me! I am loyal to everyone I make love with, and treat them all the same way", says the true Aquarian soul. Aquarians are such understanding lovers, that if their partner comes home and tells them that they are having an affair, the typical Aquarian would say "That's okay, I've been having one for years!". The Aquarian personality and makeup is so unique that they can have an affair with someone whether they are actually present or not.
Whenever an Aquarian native has a penchant for meeting someone, they will use the art of communication like a day at a pig pen. Anything, I say anything is liable to roll off the Aquarian tongue. The wilder the better, as they love the shock of seeing the expressions on other peoples faces, and herein lies the inner person.
Aquarians have the ideals of a child who is squirting their mother with a baby bottle. Just gotta be me! Some bad news -emotionally Aquarians are cold as a fly caught in a tray of ice cubes.
hmm pretty accurate ^^ except for the part about saying shocking things when first meeting someone... I tend to do that, just after I know the person for awhile lol
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