any suggestions???

[duncangarry]

hello everyone,

i have lacked self-conifidence as far as i can remember now, whilst im generally myself with my family and close friends i am painfully shy with new people it makes it really difficult to make new friends. Anyway i tried the self-hypnosis cds and they just dont work at all. I really want to change...what would you guys suggest?

[nats]

hypnosis doesn't always work, depends on the person, you have to be susceptible. Usually shy people arent' cause tehey're too aware of their surroundings and have difficulty letting go. I've tried it and it didn't work for me either. I've never really tried anything that worked, alcohol obviously but for a short amount of tiem.

Positive thinking seems to be the best thing but it's easier said than done.

[wagnerr]

Like Lucca said, postive thinking does indeed help.

Smilies coming at you!!! Shitload of positiveness, oh no!!



Heheheh. Also, i would encourage trying to interact with people on the job. You're forced to be around them anyways, so why not take the opportunity?

The workplace can be a very diverse atmosphere, one that tolerates a lot of cultural differences. Even shyness too!!!

[bert]

i was the same and i have a CURE, well okay i dont, but all ive done latly is throw my self in situations, it sucks at first but now im so much more confident, this is in the space of a few months to, so join clubs, take up nw social activitys ect

[aforgottenmemory]

bert said:

i was the same and i have a CURE, well okay i dont, but all ive done latly is throw my self in situations, it sucks at first but now im so much more confident, this is in the space of a few months to, so join clubs, take up nw social activitys ect

I'd say this is definetly the best way to go. I've got over the majority of my shyness by throwing myself head on into my fears.

[Paulinus]

aforgottenmemory said:

bert said:

i was the same and i have a CURE, well okay i dont, but all ive done latly is throw my self in situations, it sucks at first but now im so much more confident, this is in the space of a few months to, so join clubs, take up nw social activitys ect

I'd say this is definetly the best way to go. I've got over the majority of my shyness by throwing myself head on into my fears.

My problem at the moment is I dont even know what I want to throw myself into

[griffins]

aforgottenmemory said:

bert said:

i was the same and i have a CURE, well okay i dont, but all ive done latly is throw my self in situations, it sucks at first but now im so much more confident, this is in the space of a few months to, so join clubs, take up nw social activitys ect

I'd say this is definetly the best way to go. I've got over the majority of my shyness by throwing myself head on into my fears.

I definitely agree, only way to overcome the problem is to confront it head on. I've tried actual hypnosis and tons of other stuff but the only person that can "cure" the problem is yourself.
Alot of time, I force myself to new people. When I started my job, it was nerve wracking since I knew nobody but it was also good cause they didn't know me either. I pushed myself to talk to people. Everytime my brain told me to walk with my head down and say nothing, I told it to shut up and forced myself to say "Hey good morning, how are you" Then make general chit chat if the situation presented itself.
It still doesn't feel natural but the more I pushed myself, the more it comes intuitively.

[hopeful]

paulthequiet said:

aforgottenmemory said:

I'd say this is definetly the best way to go. I've got over the majority of my shyness by throwing myself head on into my fears.

My problem at the moment is I dont even know what I want to throw myself into

I have that problem too. But also, however much I do stuff, it never seems to get any easier at all.

[Paulinus]

hopeful said:

paulthequiet said:

My problem at the moment is I dont even know what I want to throw myself into

I have that problem too. But also, however much I do stuff, it never seems to get any easier at all.

Yeah I feel that too. My one social activity is that I play at a badminton club once a week. The actual socialising with other members when I'm not playing doesn't get any easier and I dont know how to change that.

[respectful]

[/quote]
My problem at the moment is I dont even know what I want to throw myself into [/quote]

Good point

I did all that positive thing many years ago - I called it pile-driving and one time after a lot of work as well, I proved I could do this Advertising job I was after - people were earning a $1000 a morning.

Anyway, after a month of hard work, I finally proved I could do it, and so they offered me a position in one of their studios.
I then went for a walk in the bush/national park and had a long think about it ...... and the conclusion was that my heart wasn't in it

So I put my energies into caring for my children's upbringing - that was one of the best decisions I have ever made.


It seems the mind can be positive but the heart maybe tugging the other way.