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Post by pnoopiepnats on Mar 22, 2006 14:20:26 GMT -5
because it sucks to be shy example: I am riding on the train and a pretty girl sits next to me I want to talk to her but I am afraid Afraid of what? Why do you guys think we are so scary?
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Post by MrNice on Mar 22, 2006 14:27:35 GMT -5
after giving this subject much thought, I came to a conclusion that answering this question does not have any impact
a better question is
why am I afraid?
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Mar 22, 2006 14:32:32 GMT -5
after giving this subject much thought, I came to a conclusion that answering this question does not have any impact a better question is why am I afraid? Well why are you?
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Post by MrNice on Mar 22, 2006 14:39:39 GMT -5
This is a complicated question
I would like to bring your attention to the following exerpt from someone else's post
I too have this in me - this feeling that I will be doing something I am not suppose too, something bad, something dirty, sinful, embarrassing, etc... etc...
I suppose its very deeply rooted from the culture I was brought up in
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Post by sushiboat on Mar 22, 2006 14:57:21 GMT -5
The question remains, who has the right to tell you that you are broken and/or disordered because of your introversion and shyness? Who do you allow to have that authority over you? Why is it that at some point, people simply give in to the definitions concocted by others for words that describe themselves, instead of asserting their own definitions? As for me, I think that people aren't really tuned in to how their own attitudes, thoughts, feelings and lives could be controlled by outside forces whenever those outside forces try to define the words that surround their own. If I call you a whore or a bastard, you'd surely slap my face either because you aren't or because you are sure tha't I'm not qualified to sit in judgement over you. But you allow an academic to call you broken and disordered because you prefer to stay in, and you just accept those kinds of judgements as true at face value? Thanks for listening. I think that first-hand experience is much more important than academic/medical authorities in how we understand our own shyness. It's only after we encounter problems that we turn to science and medicine for answers and solutions. Sometimes the medical model is appropriate and helpful. Other times, considering shyness as one of many common "problems in living" is more fruitful. Personally, I think that shyness needs more attention from society, not less. Social skills and trusting other people are so much more important than all the historical dates and vocabulary and formulas that schoolchildren are forced to memorize. Kids who are at risk for shyness should be identified and helped, not left to fall further behind with each passing year.
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Mar 22, 2006 15:10:52 GMT -5
I too have this in me - this feeling that I will be doing something I am not suppose too, something bad, something dirty, sinful, embarrassing, etc... etc... I suppose its very deeply rootecd from the culture I was brought up in Going against upbringing is a battle. There is flirting and then there is creepy. Following me around in a store and staring at me is creepy. Workmates coming over to my office and saying goofy things is tolerable even though I know the only reason they do it is they think I'm attractive. Sometimes I wish I was about 80 then I wouldn't feel like a mouse in a room of cats waiting to pounce.
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Post by MrNice on Mar 22, 2006 15:28:19 GMT -5
I would say that this is the result of the same problem - the individual can not openly make a friendly pass at you because of the same fear and ends up doing creepy things.
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Mar 22, 2006 15:32:53 GMT -5
I would say that this is the result of the same problem - the individual can not openly make a friendly pass at you because of the same fear and ends up doing creepy things. Probably. All I know that is I don't like to be approached by men while out in public. I have never ever gone out with someone who hit on me in a store, on a plane, walking down the street, in a park, drove up by me in a car, etc.
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Post by shyiscool on Mar 22, 2006 15:38:12 GMT -5
Hi! Respectfully, I am abandoning this thread, as it went off topic immediately after logged reply # 13 Re: Why do you think shyness needs to be "Cured"? « Reply #13 on Today at 12:17pm » I realize that it's tough to keep the threads in line, and the board and other individual members certainly have their own standards to define when a post ends up taking a thread off topic! But I also have my own standards (and me, I'm the one who started this particular thread!), and I have studied the posts carefully, and bravo for those who still find interest in the thread. But as for me, the thread is closed, I'm gone, and those who continue beyond are in fact creating a new thread!
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Post by Crashtastic on Mar 22, 2006 15:41:48 GMT -5
Hi! Respectfully, I am abandoning this thread, as it went off topic immediately after logged reply # 13 Re: Why do you think shyness needs to be "Cured"? « Reply #13 on Today at 12:17pm » I realize that it's tough to keep the threads in line, and the board and other individual members certainly have their own standards to define when a post ends up taking a thread off topic! But I also have my own standards (and me, I'm the one who started this particular thread!), and I have studied the posts carefully, and bravo for those who still find interest in the thread. But as for me, the thread is closed, I'm gone, and those who continue beyond are in fact creating a new thread! k.....why did that need to be announced?
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Post by shyiscool on Mar 22, 2006 15:45:48 GMT -5
Hi! Respectfully, I am abandoning this thread, as it went off topic immediately after logged reply # 13 Re: Why do you think shyness needs to be "Cured"? « Reply #13 on Today at 12:17pm » I realize that it's tough to keep the threads in line, and the board and other individual members certainly have their own standards to define when a post ends up taking a thread off topic! But I also have my own standards (and me, I'm the one who started this particular thread!), and I have studied the posts carefully, and bravo for those who still find interest in the thread. But as for me, the thread is closed, I'm gone, and those who continue beyond are in fact creating a new thread! k.....why did that need to be announced? Crashandburn we are online at exactly the same moment. The reason why "That needed to be announced" is because I started a thread on one topic and "others" moved the topic well outside of my intended scope for the topic. Of course, i would never tell any other participants "don't talk about this or that", of course not. But by all means I will express that the thread was moved outside of my intended scope, and that I no longer have any interest in or responsibility over the thread. Clear enough?
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Post by MrNice on Mar 22, 2006 15:50:13 GMT -5
but why did you need to announce it as opposed to just stop posting?
besides the thread stayed on topic
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Post by shyiscool on Mar 22, 2006 15:50:33 GMT -5
Or, put another way, "You can't control what others might do. But you can ALWAYS control whether or not you will participate."
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Post by MrNice on Mar 22, 2006 15:52:37 GMT -5
both of these statements are false
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Post by Crashtastic on Mar 22, 2006 15:52:57 GMT -5
Or, put another way, "You can't control what others might do. But you can ALWAYS control whether or not you will participate." Yes but....it still doesn't need to be annouced. I don't like this muffin. I'm not going to eat it anymore!
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