Overcoming shyness and the "Old man and the sea"

[moray]

I've heard psychologists, therapists, doctors, and other people trying to convince us that shyness is not a disease, and that it's a quality such as having red hair or brown hair. First of all, all of the above statements are completely false. Shyness is not a quality. If you have red hair, and you don't like it, you can change the color of your hair anytime. Can you do the same for shyness?........This is one of the worst things that we could have ever done to ourselves: ignoring the fact that shyness is a disease. How can I ignore the fact that I can't act upon my own will? How can I accept the fact that I'm quiet as a mute. Feeling useless and incompetent when you have all the skills and knowledge is not pleasant. It's frustrating, embarrassing, and unbearable. And it's not fun to have everybody fear you. When they get to know you, they're surprised of what you can do. It shouldn't be this way. I'm scared of them, now they're scared of me. It shouldn't be this way. I would accept shyness as a way of being or a quality if I can really act upon my own will, that is do the things that I want to do regardless of my monsterous fear.

We all know that shyness can be overcome; however, it's not that simple. Some of us might have read "the Old man and the sea". Not only that it's great book about courage, but it also shows endurance. To overcome shyness that's what we need. I'm not extremely shy, but i'm moderately shy. I find myself mostly shy for example if I'm trying to approach an individual and have a small talk. If they come and talk to me, I might not show any sight of shyness. I might feel comfortable talking to them. If we have enough courage and show enough endurance, we could overcome shyness. I feel like if I have someone to indicate me and require me to do the things that i'm scared to do, I will show lots of improvement. I think that it's a matter of courage and endurance. Most of us chicken out when it comes to confront our fears. I know it's unbearable. But this is something that we need to do.
I'm trying to make more friends. And hopefully, everything works out.

[scottydstno]

I agree, shyness is not a trait or quality, and it really bothers me when people think that. Almost everyone I know thinks that my shyness is "just the way I am" or that I don't want to have anything to do with anyone else, which is what aggrivates me the most. I can handle people thinking it's a trait, even though I disagree, just because they'll usually be more accepting of that. But what really makes me mad is when people think you choose to be quiet and don't want to have anything to do with you, so they act like you don't exist. It's not nearly as bad for me as it use to be but I still get that sometimes. But yea, there are ways to overcome shyness. Courage and endurance definatly helps.

[aforgottenmemory]

Hey it worked for me!

Because I plucked up the courage to face my fears i'm totally over my shyness now. It was tough but I got there and life couldn't be better.

[sushiboat]

aforgottenmemory said:

Hey it worked for me!

Because I plucked up the courage to face my fears i'm totally over my shyness now. It was tough but I got there and life couldn't be better.

I'm happy for you. However, I'm also skeptical. Is there more to your story than you've told above?

[scottydstno]

Hey it worked for me!

Because I plucked up the courage to face my fears i'm totally over my shyness now. It was tough but I got there and life couldn't be better.

Awesome. Similar boat for me, but with depression. I'm extremely shy, so that's taking a while, but I'm slowly getting there.

[sickofbeingshy]

Social Anxiety is something that is inherited. I had a grandfather that had social anxiety, my father's mother has a fear of driving over bridges and my father and his sister have this same fear to different extents. His sister avoids bridges at all times, my father only experiences discomfort as he is becoming older and in certain situations and not all bridges. My mother's mother had a fear of staying alone throughout her life. So my relatives to some extent have had some form of anxiety and I also have social anxiety which to me is the worse one to have because if you have a fear of socializing, you can't meet people, have friends and close relationships with others. My grandfather who had social anxiety was married three times but he never had close friends or close relationships with his children and he NEVER went to social events, he always stayed home and worked and watched tv and that was it.