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Post by fighter on Aug 8, 2007 18:34:25 GMT -5
I have all but conquered my shyness in many ways but there is one final hurdle that I wish to banish forever. That hurdle is love-shyness.
Three years ago I almost never left the house and I had few friends (none, in fact); my life was in such a dire state that I felt empty, like I was in a wilderness. However, through a lot of hard work and determination, I began to turn the tide in small steps. My continued motivation led me to realise that I am capable of having friends and relationships. I am not severely handicapped with some kind of dysfunctional personality order; I'm just a guy who needs to try.
The list of achievements that I have had in the past three years has been phenomenal e.g. I can now speak publically without fear and I can walk into any room without feeling the need to instantly go for a run. However, despite all these achievements, the one thing I wanted most in my wilderness years was a significant other and that has yet to materialise; the problem has been anxiety.
I have had many opportunites to take relationships to the next level but the fear of what may be has held me back. The strange hold of shyness still has a firm grip on my ability to have the happiness most people take for granted. The anxiety I feel in those situations is at such a high level that I am not sure I can overcome it without a little help from some kind of remedy, but I am not too keen on the idea of seeking the help of a doctor. I would prefer to overcome my problem with some kind of natural remedy, a herbal remedy.
Are there any kind of herbal remedies out on the market that can lessen anxiety/shyness to such a degree that I do not freeze up? I know that once I get past this final hurdle the shyness will be overcome completely, as it no longer plays any role in the other areas of my life.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Aug 8, 2007 21:19:55 GMT -5
the only herbal remedies i know of that help reduce anxiety are kava kava and valerian root. valerian root is pretty much limited to sleeping as it makes most people sleepy. but it's a natural benzodiazepene and i've found that it helps reduce anxiety levels during the daytime too when i take it at bedtime. kava kava doesn't make me sleepy and i can take it any time. you just have to beware of taking massive doses because in rare cases it has caused some physical problems for people who were consuming huge quantities of it for long periods. i've heard of other herbs being used for anxiety, but these are the only ones i've personally experienced an improvement from. besides these herbs and general health building supplements, i've also found that good calcium/magnesium supplements (in a 2:1 ratio), Vitamin B Complex supplements and fish oil (omega-3) supplements are calming as well. based on my personal experience, i would definitely recommend them to anyone experiencing anxiety. also, if you're serious about lowering anxiety levels, make sure you don't use caffeine (coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.), because it increases anxiety levels. disclaimer: i am not licensed by the government to prescribe.
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Post by annaa on Aug 8, 2007 21:20:57 GMT -5
Bach Rescue Remedy - i've tired it and it works almost instantly, but the effects are short-lived. Obviously it will vary from person to person, but i'd recommend giving it a try. I do have a book on oils/brews (yes it's witchy), i'll have a look at what it says and post up anything I find that's useful if you want. I mean, how would you feel about 'wearing' an oil (like aromatherapy) as apposed to taking a remedy? also, if you're serious about lowering anxiety levels, make sure you don't use caffeine (coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.).... Thanks Sweetpea, ruin my fun why don't you!
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Post by Sweet Pea on Aug 8, 2007 21:27:28 GMT -5
Bach Rescue Remedy - i've tired it and it works almost instantly, but the effects are short-lived. Obviously it will vary from person to person, but i'd recommend giving it a try. also, if you're serious about lowering anxiety levels, make sure you don't use caffeine (coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.).... Thanks Sweetpea, ruin my fun why don't you! yeah, i know...sucks...but it's true. i've been struggling with caffeine addiction for about 16 years now. everytime i quit, i end up back on the stuff. i'm back down to using only half-decaf coffee after moving to the caffeine capital of the world and backsliding, so i'm proud of myself for that.
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Post by jaeksmith on Aug 9, 2007 0:30:37 GMT -5
also, if you're serious about lowering anxiety levels, make sure you don't use caffeine (coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.), because it increases anxiety levels. Guess it's a good thing I'm more on the 'accepting anxiety' side of things...
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Post by Sweet Pea on Aug 9, 2007 9:15:37 GMT -5
also, if you're serious about lowering anxiety levels, make sure you don't use caffeine (coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.), because it increases anxiety levels. Guess it's a good thing I'm more on the 'accepting anxiety' side of things... whatever works for ya.
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Post by annaa on Oct 2, 2007 21:50:20 GMT -5
Ok I said i'd post up anything i've found. I know it's late, but here's some information of oils that are good for anxiety/stress. - 2 parts rose/1 part jasmine/1 part camomile - helps induce natural sleep.
- 3 parts ylang ylang/3 parts lavender/2 parts camomile/1 part rose - for when you're "nervours or upset" and "need to calm down".
- 4 parts ylang ylang/3 parts lavender/1 part rose - an oil to "wear for interviews of all kinds to calm you" and that "helps make a favourable impression"
- 3 parts giner/1 part black pepper/1 part clove - this is to "increase courage, especially before being introduced to people, prior to public speaking, and other nerve-wracking situations".
By the way, this isn't my own stuff. I take no credit for it. Please don't sue me.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Oct 2, 2007 23:06:53 GMT -5
Ok I said i'd post up anything i've found. I know it's late, but here's some information of oils that are good for anxiety/stress. - 2 parts rose/1 part jasmine/1 part camomile - helps induce natural sleep.
- 3 parts ylang ylang/3 parts lavender/2 parts camomile/1 part rose - for when you're "nervours or upset" and "need to calm down".
- 4 parts ylang ylang/3 parts lavender/1 part rose - an oil to "wear for interviews of all kinds to calm you" and that "helps make a favourable impression"
- 3 parts giner/1 part black pepper/1 part clove - this is to "increase courage, especially before being introduced to people, prior to public speaking, and other nerve-wracking situations".
By the way, this isn't my own stuff. I take no credit for it. Please don't sue me. that's interesting. i have a strong affinity for lavender and ylang ylang. i always have those essential oils in the house. i like to use them in a lightbulb diffuser or dab them on pulse points after a shower. not only soothing but smells nice!
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Post by annaa on Oct 3, 2007 17:59:15 GMT -5
Lavendener alone I find overwhelming, but when it's with other stuff it's nice... particularly the lavender and camomile fabric softner my Mum uses.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Oct 3, 2007 18:07:31 GMT -5
Lavendener alone I find overwhelming, but when it's with other stuff it's nice... particularly the lavender and camomile fabric softner my Mum uses. i've tried lavender, rose, jasmine and ylang ylang seperately, but it never occurred to me to combine them. i'll have to experiment. where i grew up as a kid, wild chamomile grew abundantly everywhere. we kids used to pinch the tops off and eat them. i can still remember the strong earthy scent well.
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Post by Astroruss on Oct 4, 2007 3:32:35 GMT -5
Actually, i've fold taking vitamins everyday has helped boost my stamina levels at work. I have a somewhat physical job, and now i'm getting in better shape all things considered. I feel pretty good nowadays, and it shows. Discovering a bit of self confidence has quite a boost to your appeal. So i'd definitely recommend taking vitamins everyday. Also, coffee not only boosts adrenaline levels, but also is a great socializing tool! Guys, take a gal out to coffee. Or tea. It works. Gals, take a guy out to coffee. Or beer. It works.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Oct 4, 2007 9:22:16 GMT -5
Guys, take a gal out to coffee. Or tea. It works. Gals, take a guy out to coffee. Or beer. It works. haha...tricky. you mean guys don't like tea?
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