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Post by sadlonelygurl on Oct 5, 2004 22:00:47 GMT -5
hi my name is lisa and im 14yrs old i go to highschool. ive had a really tough time with being shy. its a bad thing for me im able to talk to my family and close freinds and completely being my complete self im very funny and talkitive with them. but when it comes to boys and groups of people especially in classrooms i get soo shy. alot of times boys do pay attention to me but when they say things to me i cant really make eye contact and wehen they do things like hit me(jokingly)i like dont know what to say back. i have to concentratae on controlling my nerves wen im around alot of people or a certain boy making sure i dont shake or show sighns of nervousness i can get a few words out but there no personality whith them there just words. and it hurts wen they say shes hott but she doesnt have a personality.i think im pretty but im so insecure like im afraid i might say sumthing wrong or im afraid that the people im around dont want me there. and my clothes nees to be perfect like if my pants are al litle too short or my hair isnt all the way done cuz i didnt have time im really insecure the whole day. shyness plays a big negative role in my life. i cant get boyfriends or friends because icant express myself to them. it gets so annoying th o wen people ask me why i dont talk or why im so quiet why im shy.........or she has no personality. i dont no why i really cant help it my nerves takes over and my shyness takes over my life badly is their anyone else out there that has the same problems?? is their a certain therapist or medication i could take for this horrible curse of shyness
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Post by mathew on Oct 5, 2004 23:11:45 GMT -5
Find a shy guy, he will understand you the most.
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Post by Schmoo on Oct 6, 2004 9:46:39 GMT -5
Hello Lisa, I'm in my 30's and only lately have I realized that I was socially phobic all my life. I didn't know that there were clinical terms like social anxiety/social phobia and that therapy/meds were available to help with these issues.
I just wanted to say that shyness (if you've had it all your life, it's probably genetic), sometimes just doesn't "go away" and you're so young. At the very least, seek counseling to get an assessment of your situation to help ensure that this problem doesn't get worse as it did for me. If you have access to a therapist, I'd suggest you give it a try (it can only help you, not hurt you).
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Post by WayoftheBraves on Oct 6, 2004 19:40:35 GMT -5
Hey. I can totally get how you feel. It's like we have an ability to talk to certain people. lol
I say this. People like you, right? Guys like you right? Use that to your advantage. They're pretty much under your thumb, because they're all vying for your affection.
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Post by CaryGrant on Oct 12, 2004 11:35:44 GMT -5
Try focusing on observing yourself in the situation without passing judgement. You know, just noticing, "I'm really nervous right now, I feel like I'm going to throw up if that boy gets any closer, I'm so hurt that people think I have no personality, and so on." A therapist I once had called it the Zen approach to self-analysis. It helps you realize there are other parts of you, not just the part that is terrified, humiliated, etc., and also helps you begin to defuse the emotions. You get some perspective on things.
I agree with the suggestion of therapy, if you can get it. There are also good books in the library that will really help with shyness; Shyness, by Bernardo Carducci helped me a lot.
Best wishes...you'll do fine! Don't give up, and welcome to the board!
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