|
Hellooo
Nov 4, 2004 11:24:55 GMT -5
Post by obutterflyo on Nov 4, 2004 11:24:55 GMT -5
Hi everyone, thought i should introduce myself, im 19..i dont give out my real name so ill call myself nemo im having one of my highs at the moment so im sure ull get much more depressing posts from me in the future..erm im ridiculously shy, and i really hate it, when im around alot of people i just cant bring myself to speak, even tho deep down i wanna scream and be the person ive always wanted tobe, i have really low self confidence, i dont think anybody likes me and i think im gonna be left alone, i have a boyfriend, been together 2 years but tobe honest im soo paranoid! i only think hes with me because he cant get anyone else(thats sounds really nasty, but thats me..hes not ugly or anything, i just think hes got low self confidence aswell..even tho he can act as if he has loads) alot of bad things have happened to me in my life which i wont go into, and has led to this... i basically would like some advice on building my confidence, i have to do something about this...or i will go insane please help thx xxx oh yeah..people seem to think im not interested in anything there saying...and i look miserable alot of the time even tho im perfectly fine help meee ;D
|
|
|
Hellooo
Nov 4, 2004 12:05:52 GMT -5
Post by shannon on Nov 4, 2004 12:05:52 GMT -5
talking in public is a lot like an having an orgasm; just fake it
|
|
|
Hellooo
Nov 4, 2004 12:25:16 GMT -5
Post by Kitten on Nov 4, 2004 12:25:16 GMT -5
Hi Nemo! Welcome to the forums. ;D You sound quite a bit like me--not only am I battling social anxiety but I also have my ups and downs with regards to depression. Some days I am fine, and others I feel like I want to crawl into a hole and die. I also have a boyfiend, have been with him for over 7 years on-and-off, and just like you I always wonder if and when he will leave me for someone prettier, more vivacious, more well-adjusted. He's already dumped me twice, so it makes it even more difficult to have faith in him, even though he tells me he's made mistakes and he loves me all the time. It sounds to me like you and your boyfriend are pretty serious, since you've been together for two years. How old is he? Most guys, especially guys around your own age, will not waste two years in a relationship they don't want to be in--why do you feel that he's only with you because he can't get anyone better? Is it just your own insecurity talking? Does he tell you he loves you/or you're beautiful, or how much he likes being with you? I know, the insecurity will be there regardless of what he might say or do, but it helps sometimes to look at it rationally rather than get all worked up about something that might or might not be true. As for building up your confidence, you may not get the best advice here (this is a shyness forum after all, lol) but my advice would be to focus on yourself, and never stop trying to better yourself. Learn some new skills or hobbies, like learning to play the piano, and read the newspaper every morning so you'll have something to say when a conversation does come up. Work on taking care of your physical appearance--if you look good, you'll feel good, and others will notice. None of these things will erase your low self-esteem, but I've found that trying to better myself, even in little ways, help me get through my days a lot easier and help my general outlook on life and others. Sorry, that was a mouthful, hope some of it helped! Kitten
|
|
|
Hellooo
Nov 4, 2004 12:43:10 GMT -5
Post by obutterflyo on Nov 4, 2004 12:43:10 GMT -5
hey kitten thx for that..didnt actually think id get a reply erm my low self confidence isnt about my looks (i really dont want to sound big headed now) but i think im pretty and like the way i look, i get alot of attention and compliments..which is why i dont understand how i am..i cant go out to the shop for example on my own...and if i do i feel really weird and scared, i feel like everyone is looking at me..i hate it my boyfriends 22, i know he loves me, i probably shouldnt have said that..but i still think if someone better came along he'd go for it my problem is with my personality not my apperance (well thats a lil bit of a lye cause i werent happy withmyself b4..but ive lost 2 stone now..wooo ;D very happy with that!) i dont think i can answer why i think he cant get anyone better, it probably is my own insecurity plus i find it hard 2 trust &believe people he tells me im beautiful all the time, he doesnt really say how much he likes being with me because we've been arguing alot recently...and yes ...again its probably my fault, ive moved away from my family and friends tobe with him..so i rely on him alot! i make an effort every day..with my hair and my clothes..it gives me a boost to get out the house..but with my job as a trainee nurse i have to tie my hair back...and i basically look like a big frump thx for the help! xxx
|
|
|
Hellooo
Nov 4, 2004 12:43:57 GMT -5
Post by obutterflyo on Nov 4, 2004 12:43:57 GMT -5
ive tried faking it...but the words just wont come out
|
|
|
Hellooo
Nov 4, 2004 12:46:13 GMT -5
Post by obutterflyo on Nov 4, 2004 12:46:13 GMT -5
TEXToh and kitten, you probably right about the asking for advice thing..probably not the best place to ask that question...silly me
|
|
|
Hellooo
Nov 4, 2004 14:33:14 GMT -5
Post by Kitten on Nov 4, 2004 14:33:14 GMT -5
Oh, no I was just kidding about that. Sorry. This place is actually a great place to get advice because we understand each other, unlike the more outgoing people who have no clue. There are many great people here who will listen and help you any way they can. You don't sound conceited, actually I'm more insecure about my personality than about my looks as well. Not that I think I'm God's Gift to Men, but I really wish I had more confidence and inner strength. My bf fell in love with a girl before me that he wasn't necessarily attracted to, but her personality won him over, and that really really sucks because I only wish I could be that carefree and strong as she was. It bothers me deep down to this day. Trust issues are hard to get over, but it can be done. Have you ever seen a therapist or counselor? I saw a therapist in high school, and it helped me a lot!
|
|
|
Hellooo
Nov 4, 2004 18:54:23 GMT -5
Post by glenn miller on Nov 4, 2004 18:54:23 GMT -5
welcome i have hard time speaking in a big group to. even though i want to. i have been trying for a while. i have low self confidence to.
|
|