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Post by soulestada on Dec 9, 2004 12:16:55 GMT -5
Hi. This is my first time joining a chat . I'm a 25-year-old accounting major from Pittsburgh. I am quite shy, but people usually think that I am stuck-up (which I am NOT). People are really uncomfortable around me because I am nervous, but they don't realize that. People find me smart and pretty, but I don't feel so because I was horribly teased, ridiculed, and humiliated by my peers (especially black girls; I am black). It is very hard for me to trust people because of this; when I do meet people, they turn out to be people I don't want to associate with. It's hard to keep going, but something inside of me has me driven.Oh well....things can't be horrible forever....
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Post by Sweet Pea on Dec 9, 2004 15:53:33 GMT -5
Hi, soulestada and welcome! I could relate to what you said about people thinking you're stuck up. I've always had that problem too. People who get to know me are always surprised that I'm a nice, warm, friendly, down to earth person.
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Post by Medici on Dec 9, 2004 15:57:37 GMT -5
Hello. I believe that many people have thought I was stuck up too because I can be very quiet. And to be honest I can be kind of a snob if I don't watch myself carefully. I have a tendency to be very judgemental of other people and of myself. The only solution for me is to keep kicking myself to be friendly and talk as much as I can. I know I can be friendly and fun to be around - I just have to work at it to make sure I show other people that.
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Post by Medici on Dec 10, 2004 15:57:24 GMT -5
How do you approach people? For me, that is so scary! I always manage to come off the wrong way and either offend or be offended. Also, since I am naturally quiet, I think that some people see that as being aloof or uncaring or uninterested. I don't want to be seen in that light!
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Post by soulestada on Dec 10, 2004 15:59:34 GMT -5
How do you approach people? For me, that is so scary! I always manage to come off the wrong way and either offend or be offended. Also, since I am naturally quiet, I think that some people see that as being aloof or uncaring or uninterested. I don't want to be seen in that light! OOPS! put the wrong name on! Sorry, Medici!
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Post by Medici on Dec 10, 2004 17:18:12 GMT -5
Well its not easy to figure out how to approach all people, that's true. Sometimes it just takes time for people to warm up to you. The main thing I do is try to is smile a lot, and act very relaxed and friendly. That way even if I don't have a lot to say, I just come across as being really laid back not necessarily unfriendly. You also have to be careful about correcting people or pointing out mistakes and stuff. When doing that you can come across as stuck up or preachy.
Usually though I will force myself into conversation with people. For example, recently I met a girl from Austria for the first time. As we're walking along the only thing that came to mind was Arnold Swartzenegger since he is from Austria. So I started talking about him and how I heard he owned 10 Hummer vehicles and 2 mansions and stuff and then we joked about Arnold for a while. Then you end up coming across some other topics in there that you can branch off on.
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Post by a friend on Dec 15, 2004 23:42:51 GMT -5
One thing I can tell you when talking to other people. Is don't go on and on about yourself. Most people dont like it when you do that. I will give a few examples of conversations.
A wrong one:
Mary "Hi, how are you?"
Jeff: "Im doing fine, thanks, and you?"
Mary: "Im ok, been busy lately with work, friends, and being a mom. I have to pick up the kids after school today at 3pm. Then, we are going shopping."
It is not good to keep on with something like that unless asked about it, some people may become annoyed with you if you are like that.
A good conversation:
Lauren: "Hi, how are you?"
Paul: "Im doing fine, thanks, and you?"
Lauren:"Im ok, been busy lately with work, friends, and being a mom. So, hows everything going with your divorce?"
Another:
Chris: "whats up?"
John: "Not much, been working on my website lately. I am thinking about making another one soon. How is everything going?"
Chris: "Thats cool, things have been going well, I am going to see about getting a job Monday"
John: "A friend of mine, Josh, told me that Sperion, the company he works for, has a few openings. If you want I can ask him to put a good word in for you there.
Chris: "Thanks, that would be great."
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Post by seabreeze on Dec 21, 2004 14:40:56 GMT -5
hey girl! nice to see another soul sister in the house in reply to some of the posts here, when your having a concversation with somebody there is no right or wrong thing to say. i think thats where we get hung up. when your having small talk or watever, i have come to realise that a decent conversation comes from just feeling natural and comfortable. For example theres this girl in my workpalce thats a complete extrovert. one of the first things that i noticed about her is that she only talks about herself!! her and only her. yet she is very popular and well liked. sometimes she'll make a flippant comment about something and ill just think wat was tha!!?? wat does that have to do with the conversation. why'd she say that....? i guess we all have to learn to just feel comfortable and safe in ourselves, b4 we do with other ppl.
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